04/21/2026
Conflict is a normal part of any relationship, but the patterns we fall into during those moments can lead to bigger problems.
Research from The Gottman Institute identifies four communication patterns, often called the “Four Horsemen”, that can predict relationship distress: criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling. 📖
Most people don’t use these intentionally. They show up when we feel hurt, overwhelmed, or unheard.
The good news is that awareness can help create choice. When you can recognize these patterns in real time, you can begin to shift them in a positive way toward curiosity, accountability, respect, and emotional safety.
Healthy relationships are built on repair, understanding, and learning new ways to show up for each other. Couples therapy can play a part in providing the tools and insight to make that shift happen. 🌿