Virginia K Cailleteau, MSW, LICSW

10/15/2025

🧠💥 COPING MECHANISMS

(aka “Why you deep-clean the tack room, scroll TikTok till 2am, or suddenly decide to move to the Outer Hebrides and start an alpaca farm.”)

Let’s make it pony simple. 🐴
Because coping and keeping ourselves safe isn’t weakness , it’s your nervous system doing its best. Every behaviour once made sense, even if it doesn’t fit your life now.....

Meet the Five Ponies of Coping:

🤍 The Functional Pony – does the job, stays busy, looks fine. Keeps the yard spotless while quietly avoiding eye contact with emotions.
(This one’s the “I’m fine!” text when they are definitely not fine.)

🖤 The Flight Pony – runs. Changes stables, jobs, partners, entire continents. The emotional equivalent of a thoroughbred mid-spook.

(It’s not avoidance, it’s strategic relocation.)

🤎 The Freeze Pony – stands in the field, blank stare, brain buffering. No energy for fight or flight, just… stillness.

(If you’ve ever sat in your car after work for half an hour doing absolutely nothing—hi, that’s this one.)

💚 The Fawn Pony – people-pleases to stay safe. Nods, smiles, says “no worries!” while quietly disintegrating inside.

(The emotional service pony—adorable, exhausted, and due a week off.)

❤️ The Fight Pony – kicks the stable door when scared. Looks angry, but underneath it’s just panic in a saddle. Fierce loyalty, quick temper, heart of gold.

(This is why you argue with your loved one when you really just need a hug.)

💡Coping mechanisms and trauma responses aren’t bad. They’re clever adaptations that once kept you safe.

The goal isn’t to get rid of them.......it’s to recognise when the danger’s passed and the pasture’s finally calm.