Inspiration Outreach Counseling

11/08/2025

Beyond theory and research, a psychology education builds personal strengths—adaptability, integrity, and self-regulation—that help people grow and lead with purpose.

Learn how these skills power success in today’s workforce: https://at.apa.org/a6f801

11/08/2025

Sometimes you get what you want… Other times, life gives you something more important:

Growth.

Every delay, disappointment, and detour is shaping you into the person who can handle what’s coming next ❤️

✍️ IG: briannawiest

11/08/2025

Sometimes it’s all we can do and that’s ok!

The not knowing can feel pretty horrible sometimes and sometimes when I’m anxious about something I remind myself, one step at a time. One foot in front of the other. And before you know it, you’re where you need to be. 💛

11/08/2025

11/05/2025

Or what you don’t want/like. We don’t know until you tell us in your way!

Healthy relationships aren’t about mind reading. They’re about communication. 💬
Whether it’s telling your partner what helps you feel loved or setting boundaries that protect your peace, clarity is connection.

11/05/2025

For some of us, learning to hear the message (underneath the noise) of what is being spoken might be one of the most significant relationship skills we can learn.

Leaning into this space may include inquiring about the deeper roots of someone’s vulnerabilities so that we can detect and speak to those deeper layers and contexts more clearly and sensitively.

It might include becoming more curious about the layers that are intertwined with our unique form of defensiveness.

These moments may even become an invitation for us to intervene more quickly when we detect criticism is at play so that we don’t shut down and disengage.

“I really want to stay present for you in this. Can you please try to share what you are feeling instead of what I’m doing wrong?”

“Your feelings matter a lot to me. I can feel myself beginning to shut down and I really don’t want that to happen. What do you need from me right now?”

“I know it isn’t easy for you to share what happening for you. How can I make it safe for you to share your experience without criticizing me?”

If your relationship has cultivated a bit more trust and safety, there also may be much more room to intervene in these moments in more direct ways, and with humor to help soften the approach.

For some of us, it will be equally important that we explore our patterns of defensiveness.

It may be important to make space to tolerate occasional criticism sometimes.

People aren’t always going to be able to offer or share their feedback/feelings to us in perfectly integrated ways.

We do have to read carefully here though, as repeated criticism (without any responsibility taken) can lead to a relationship’s end.

What kind of communication styles takes you to defensiveness more quickly? What could you express to help soften someone’s approach?

PS: Want to explore working together? Message me “work with me” to book a free consultation ✨

11/05/2025

It’s not weak, it doesn’t make you “less manly”. It’s OK to talk.

Here’s the truth we don’t talk about enough:

🧠 75% of all suicides are male.
💔 Men are less likely to seek help.
😔 Society teaches men to hide their pain.

It’s time we stop telling men to “tough it out.”
It’s time we start listening — without judgment.

Let’s make it okay to open up, to cry, to ask for help, to feel.

Change starts with one conversation. Let’s have it.

11/05/2025

It’s not easy keeping your heart OPEN when a loved one is upset with you.

Here are some of the phrases I offer clients to help them vocalize permission to their loved one when they are expressing hurt feelings:

“It’s okay that you’re upset with me.”

“It’s hard for me to know that what I did caused you so much pain, but I want you to know that I care about what you’re going through right now.”

You are allowed to also have communication boundaries if someone is m sharing their hurt in a way that is hard for you to be with or crosses a personal boundary — in fact if you DON’T set boundaries, you can sometimes appear MORE unsafe/threatening to them.

If a partner/friend being upset with you is unbearable, it is worth exploring that:

Did you ever experience adults navigate conflict in front of you? What about repairing conflicts?

How did your caregivers validate or care for your hurt feelings?

Do you feel confident in your ability to be loving and boundaried?

Does validating someone else feel threatening to your own sense of reality?

Are you able to verbalize boundaries if things get too heated in a way that is not dismissive to the other persons feelings?

Do you make space for your own intense feelings? (*think anger jealousy, sadness, irritability, SHAME)
Are you mindful/sensitive towards your loved ones vulnerabilities (or do you feel like you should not have to be at all responsible for people’s feelings - really sit on this one!)

Do you express your own hurt feelings relationally or do you work through them all on your own?

How do you manage your own self-esteem and view of yourself when someone is hurt with you? (Can you tolerate being imperfect and flawed?)

Exploring these things can help you see what might be getting in the way for your ability to witness another in pain.

It also helps you be loving with YOURSELF around the ways people may not have shown up for your hurt too.

// Silvy Khoucasian

PS: Want to explore working together? Message me “work with me” to book a free consultation
✨

11/05/2025

I used to believe closure was something someone else had to give me. An apology, an explanation, a final conversation. I would wait and wait, (and waaaaaait). But sometimes, the most powerful form of closure comes from knowing you're not going to get it and you DON'T have to wait to move forward.

11/05/2025

This is for those working toward secure attachment;
toward "earned secure" in their relationships.

If we didn't have caregivers who were consistently attuned to our needs, we long for partners and relationships (friendships, too) where we'll get all of our needs met and we'll never be hurt in the ways we were hurt before.

So in some ways, because we haven't truly experienced secure attachment, our expectations might be a little off; we might get hurt by a friend or partner's behavior, and because the old wound is activated, we lump them into the "unsafe" category.

But the reality is that in any relationship we are going to disappoint each other;
we're going to have moments where we can't meet the other's needs, where we our actions DO hurt feelings even though we do love and care about the other person.
Believe it or not, this does happen in the securest of relationships, too.

Part of working toward secure attachment is learning how to attune to your own needs and self-soothe so that you can stay in connection with the other — even when your feelings are hurt.
It's learning to tolerate moments of comfort and discomfort and to trust that coming back together is possible.
This is how we approach repair, which is a pivotal skill in being able to relate securely.

Self-attunement and regulation also help us get better at discerning whether the behavior on the other side is a deal-breaker because we're able to use our wise mind;
to be present with & attune to our hurt feelings, but also able to look at the situation with our rational mind to determine whether it's a hard no or something we can learn from.

Healthy connections aren't about perfection;
they're about the willingness to stay connected
to navigate the good and the bad together... and sometimes apart.
They're about being willing to listen, communicate, grow, and show up fully as ourselves.

Don't want to miss out on these insights? The EQ School can send daily texts to your phone — which is great if you’re trying to spend less time on social media but still want pointed reminders that help you check in with yourself, and to remind you of why you’re doing the work.
https://hdly.me/theeqschool

11/05/2025

On , we want to remind you that it's okay to feel stress. Find a moment today — even if it's just a minute — to take a break and check in with yourself. 💙

11/05/2025

There’s a big difference between a threat and a boundary — even if the words sound similar.

⚡ Threat: “Clean your room or no TV.” (Comes from frustration and control.)
🌱 Boundary: “You can watch TV after your room is clean.” (Comes from calm guidance and clear limits.)

One triggers resistance. The other teaches responsibility and follows through with connection. 💛

👉 Learn more about setting boundaries that connect in Guidance from The Therapist Parent — available at www.thetherapistparent.com and on Amazon.