Stephen G Pate

Wedding and Funeral Officiant + Pastor + Chaplain I'm Stephen, a wedding & funeral officiant, pastor, and chaplain.

With nearly two decades of experience in teaching, speaking, and preaching, I specialize in crafting meaningful and memorable ceremonies that honor life's important moments.

06/26/2025

“By day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me—a prayer to the God of my life” (Psalm 42:8)

A spiritual life is a journey of contemplation; an increasing awareness of God’s presence in all things.

I have a tendency to drift in my mind, to float away from the present moment. I wonder if part of the work of prayer is to be steadfast in the now? And we ask God to do this. The psalmist says God’s love directs. It speaks and guides. It gives hope even in confusing times.

Lately, I’ve been rediscovering God’s healing and guidance through prayer and meditation. When we rest, when we quiet our souls, we make space for the spirit to move. To live out of that overflow is to be free and at home in our true identity: as God’s beloved.

03/25/2025

Learning to be present is a deeply spiritual practice. And this applies to all facets of our lives.

Regardless of your life situation and work, you always bring yourself along. Whatever you’re doing, you’re already there, so you might as well show up fully.

One writer framed it as the first task we have every day is simply waking up. The ensuing challenge for the rest of the day is to stay awake.

I’m continually reminded of the importance of presence in all facets of our lives. We show up for people and show up for ourselves. Being present brings awareness to our lives so that we can encounter God in the here and now. And it is the only way to love others.

Whether I’m giving a sermon, speaking in front of a crowd, or sitting with someone in a hospital room, the gift I can give in that moment is my presence. To be fully there. Open. Calm. And receptive.

We call it an “art” rather than a science because it will look different for all of us. We find our own ways of showing up for ourselves and others. This may take time and trial. But if we keep at it, we learn to live more of our lives in the here and now.

This is my own conviction, but what we need now, more than ever, are people committed to being fully present.

Attention equals love.
Focus equals care.
Being present is how we love God and others.

03/11/2025

Our world is a noisy place. The constant barrage of sounds and stimuli often wreak havoc on us. It can feel nearly impossible to enter any amount of silence.

But this noise isn’t found only in our external world. It includes what is going on inside us.

Many of us feel overwhelmed and overburdened.

We are restless and distracted, frustrated and even apathetic.

Admitting our inner worlds are noisy and chaotic is a good place to start.

Silence is a posture of slowing down and opening up. We listen first and foremost. And cut through much of the noise that permeates our internal and external worlds.

It is a tool for connecting with God and each other. It reminds us that words aren’t always necessary, but presence is.

Silence and stillness are the starting points of the spiritual life.

In silence, we hear the deeper message being said. We lean in to listen to the voice of love.

Some have said it’s not that God is no longer speaking to us. It’s that we’ve forgotten how to listen.

Silence tunes our souls to hear 🙏

02/19/2025

“Spirituality and spiritual life give us the strength to love.” Bell Hooks

Bell Hooks writing all those years ago identifies an issue within our culture and world: we are increasingly becoming people of lovelessness.

The remedy?

Learning to love and learning to live.

God invites us into a lived experience of hope and renewal. “Love one another, as I have loved you” (John 15:12).

01/29/2025

Three things to remember in a season of waiting:

1) Life is not a race

We often compare our lives with others. We think we should be farther along or more successful and accomplished. Or we should be more put-together. The reality is your life is yours. Your story is yours. The writer in Hebrews says we “run with perseverance the race marked out for us” (Hebrews 12:1). Perseverance calls to mind the journey of faith (and life). Patience is needed. Live in the season you’re in.

2) Real growth takes time

It’s interesting how many of the parables Jesus teaches are about agriculture. Plants often grow slowly and undetected until they break through the surface. Is the same true for change and transformation in our lives? We want to fast-track a process that is typically the opposite of our timetable. It’s okay to slow down and take it one day at a time.

3) God does not waste the wait

God is not in a hurry as we often are. When we embrace the season we’re in, we let go of striving, pining, and attempting to control our circumstances. The psalmist says, “I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken” (Psalm 16:8). God’s got this. So we can live freely in the present. The wait will not be wasted.

I love Paul’s opening words to the Philippians—that “he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion…” (Phil 1:6) Remember, that good work is still working, regardless of the season you find yourself in 🙏

12/30/2024

21 Ceremonies in 2024 🙏❤️

It was a blessing to work with some incredible couples and families this past year, whether we were celebrating a new beginning in marriage or honoring the life of a loved one. I believe ceremonies and rituals are some of the most important things we do.

They remind us of our connectedness.

They uphold the values of love, compassion, and joy.

And they usher in an appreciation and awareness of God, faith, and the mystery of being human.

I’m looking forward to 2025 and everything this new year has in store. Happy New Year! 🎊

09/19/2024

As a funeral officiant, I experience many emotions when helping people plan a ceremony and remember and celebrate their loved ones. I’ve cried with families, laughed at stories, and reminisced about memories shared and lessons learned. I’ve led prayers. I’ve read scriptures and eulogies. And I’ve stood in solidarity with people in the confusion, pain, and doubt. Every ceremony is different and unique to the person who’s passed. Still, my clearest message is this: God’s love does not end at death.

I love the words that Jesus shares in John 11:25-26, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die.”

Someone’s life and impact continue after they leave this earth. We remember them and share their legacy. And we hold one another, finding strength in the hope that sustains us 🙏❤️

08/13/2024

Interestingly, Jesus offered his followers just one new command: to love. When asked what the greatest commandment is, Jesus distilled the entirety of the law and the prophets into a singular purpose: to love God and people (Matthew 22:37-40). Since God defines and embodies love, a litmus test of our spiritual life is whether we grow in loving others deeply (1 John 4:7-8).

Whether I officiate a wedding or funeral, the main message I hope and pray to convey is that God’s love transforms us and the world around us. In marriage, we commit to a love that will shape and define our lives. When we reflect on the death of someone close to us, we hold onto their love in our hearts and contemplate how to let their life continue to inspire us.

I’ve shared a few thoughts from 1 Corinthians 13, the passage often called the “Love Chapter,” below, focusing on marriage. But today, I want to focus on the transforming power of love in the face of grief and loss. As I process this in my own life, I want to reflect on the lessons love continues to share.

What does the love of someone you’ve lost continue to teach you about life and how you choose to live it?

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07/16/2024

Imagine your wedding ceremony: a beautiful reflection of your love, infused with laughter, happy tears, and a touch of your unique spark ✨ That’s what I help couples create 👏🙌

•not just vows recited, but a celebration crafted with the essence of your journey together ❤️

•moments of joy woven into the ceremony, reflecting the gift of your love ☺️

•a ceremony that evokes emotions, both tender and lighthearted, leaving a lasting impression on your hearts and those who witness your love 🎉

Ready to ditch the generic ceremony and create something truly unforgettable? DM me to chat about your dream ceremony!

07/09/2024

The first aspect of love Paul mentions in 1 Cor 13 is patience. Why? 🤔❓

Because you don’t rush love ❤️ 🙏

It takes time. It grows and builds; it blossoms and transforms. We don’t rush good things. We savor them, protect them, and support them.

Every description of love he shares after this one exists because of patience.

Love is humble because of patience.
Love is service-focused because of patience.
Love is kind, truthful, altruistic, sacrificial, forgiving, and persevering. It is all these things because, at its core, it is patient. Love is a commitment to the long haul, a promise to keep keeping on.

1️⃣One reason the giving and receiving of vows is significant during a ceremony is that it is a visual of love’s unending work. Marriage is a journey of patient joy. It is not a perfect one by any stretch of the word, but it labors in love—one day at a time, moment by moment.

Patience reminds us that love is a gift that grows as we tend it 🌞🌱

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06/22/2024

Congratulations, Daniel and Christine! It was such a joy to celebrate with you today. One of my favorite things about officiating weddings is getting to know a couple and learn a little bit about their story. I loved getting to hear your hearts for God and one another. Many blessings to you both!

06/20/2024

Kindness and love are related terms in the Bible ❤️📖

In fact, love is revealed in kindness, both in action and speech, and we see God containing both attributes. The psalmist says, “How priceless is your loving kindness, O God!” (Psalm 36:7).

In Hebrew, the word that captures this is hesed. Roughly translated, it means “Loving kindness” or “Covenant Faithfulness.” It describes how God interacts with people, an homage to His very nature. Loving-kindness is who God is—not just that God is loving but that God is love (1 John 4:7).

Marriage is a commitment to a lifetime of shared experiences of loving-kindness. This commitment holds true in all circumstances, whether in times of abundance or scarcity, happiness or sorrow. It is a steadfast love that ignites, grows, and nurtures.
Loving kindness is not just a part of marriage but reflects its essence, mirroring God’s heart for all creation 🙏🌎

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Address

Orange County, CA

Website

http://www.revpate.com/

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