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Neurobehavioral Counseling & Consulting, 2233 Park Avenue, Bldg 100, Suite 205, Orange Park, FL (2026)

02/23/2026

What if your pain could actually make you more whole, not less?

We've been taught that trauma breaks you. That the goal is to "get back to normal." To heal enough that you can function again, smile again, pretend again.

But Dr. Jessamy Hibberd offers something radically different in this book: what if the point isn't to recover who you were, but to become someone new? Someone deeper, stronger, more alive than before?

How to Overcome Trauma and Find Yourself Again is built around a concept called post-traumatic growth . It's not toxic positivity. It's not pretending trauma was a "gift." It's the evidence-based idea that struggling through adversity can actually lead to genuine transformation, if you know how to work with it.

Hibberd is a chartered clinical psychologist with over 15 years of experience, and it shows . She blends neuroscience, psychology, and real client stories into a warm, practical seven-step program that feels like sitting with a therapist who actually sees you.

Here are 5 lessons that stayed with me:

1. Trauma isn't just the big stuff, and it's not a competition
Hibberd makes space for all of it. The obvious traumas: loss, abuse, illness. But also the quieter ones: betrayal, neglect, the accumulated weight of small wounds . She never makes you feel like your pain isn't "bad enough" to count. If it affected you, it matters.

2. Post-traumatic growth is real, and it has five signs
The book introduces the five domains of growth that research has identified: personal strength, relating to others, appreciation of life, new possibilities, and spiritual/existential change . Hibberd shows how trauma survivors often report increased depth in these areas, not despite their pain, but because of how they worked through it.

3. Your body needs to be part of the conversation
One entire step is devoted to looking after your body, and Hibberd calls exercise "the holy grail" . Not in a toxic "fitspo" way, but because trauma lives in the body. You can't think your way out of something that's stored in your nervous system. Movement, sleep, breath, they're not optional extras. They're the foundation.

4. Telling your story changes everything
There's a step called "Telling Your Story," and it's not about posting on Instagram . It's about finding safe places, therapy, trusted people, your own journal, to give language to what happened. Hibberd includes real client stories throughout (Akemi, Jess and Finn, Sophie, David), and those narratives make the science breathe. You realize you're not alone in how you've responded.

5. Grieving isn't the end, it's the door
Step six is about grieving, letting go, and accepting . This is where the book gets tender. You can't skip the grief. You have to let yourself feel what was lost. But on the other side of that grief? There's space to become yourself again, maybe for the first time.

A quick honest note: if you're in the middle of active crisis, a book can't replace therapy. But if you're ready to start understanding what happened to you, and ready to believe that growth is possible, this is a beautiful, compassionate place to begin.

Dr. Anne Lane, a clinical psychologist, put it this way: "This book is an essential read if you have been affected by traumatic, challenging or life-changing events" . I'd add: keep tissues nearby. And an open heart.

BOOK: https://amzn.to/4rVUtL6

02/21/2026

Connection is not a luxury. It is as essential to our survival as food and water. That truth settles heavily in the chest when you listen to Dr. Vivek Murthy read Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World. His voice does not rush you. It carries both authority and tenderness, like a physician who has seen too much silent suffering and cannot keep quiet anymore. As I listened, it felt less like a public health lecture and more like a quiet confession from someone who has sat with pain, with patients, with leaders, with himself. This is not just a book about loneliness. It is a book about the ache of being human in a world that keeps sp*eding up while our hearts are still wired for closeness.

1. Loneliness Is a Public Health Crisis, Not a Personal Failure: Dr. Murthy speaks about loneliness the way a doctor names a disease that has been misdiagnosed for years. He shares stories from his time as U.S. Surgeon General, sitting with patients who had stable jobs, families, even social media followers, yet felt profoundly alone. The powerful shift in this lesson is this, loneliness is not a weakness. It is not proof that you are awkward, unlovable, or doing life wrong. It is a signal. Just like hunger tells you to eat, loneliness tells you that you need connection. Hearing him narrate this felt like permission. Permission to admit that even in a crowded room, you can feel invisible. And that feeling does not make you broken. It makes you human.

2. Success Without Connection Is Empty: One of the most striking stories he shares is about high achieving professionals who seemed to have everything, yet confessed to feeling isolated and emotionally starved. In boardrooms and hospitals, in politics and tech companies, he encountered the same quiet epidemic. We chase titles, applause, promotions, and productivity. But the human nervous system does not feed on achievement. It feeds on belonging. This lesson hit hard. Because how many of us are building impressive lives that nobody truly knows us inside of. Murthy gently reminds us that no amount of recognition can replace the simple experience of being seen and valued by another person.

3. Social Connection Is a Biological Need: Drawing from research and his medical background, he explains how chronic loneliness affects the body. Increased stress hormones, inflammation, weakened immunity. Loneliness is not just emotional pain. It is physical strain. When he narrates these findings, you can hear the concern in his voice. It is not abstract data. It is lived reality. This lesson changed how I see connection. It is not optional. It is not something we squeeze into our busy schedules. It is medicine. Real medicine. If connection heals, then isolation harms. That truth alone should make us pause and reorder our priorities.

4. Small Moments of Connection Matter More Than Grand Gestures: One of the sweetest threads in the book is how often healing happens in ordinary moments. A neighbor checking in. A colleague listening without rushing. A family member putting their phone away and giving full attention. Murthy emphasizes the power of presence. Not performance. Not perfection. Presence. You do not need a thousand friends. You need a few people who look at you and actually see you. Listening to him describe these simple acts made me rethink my daily interactions. Am I distracted when someone speaks. Do I offer solutions too quickly instead of empathy. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can give is undivided attention.

5. Technology Can Connect Us, But It Can Also Isolate Us: He does not demonize technology. He acknowledges its power. But he also speaks honestly about how curated lives and endless scrolling can create comparison, disconnection, and shallow interaction. We are more digitally connected than any generation before us, yet many of us feel more alone. That paradox is painful. This lesson felt uncomfortably personal. How often do we substitute likes for love, comments for conversation, notifications for nourishment. Murthy calls us back to intentionality. Use technology to deepen real relationships, not replace them. Choose meaningful interaction over constant distraction.

6. We Heal Each Other: This is perhaps the most emotional lesson of all. Throughout the book, he shares stories of communities coming together in times of crisis, of strangers supporting one another, of people choosing compassion over indifference. He reminds us that we are not just individuals trying to survive. We are part of one another. When someone feels unseen, we can be the one who notices. When someone feels unheard, we can be the one who listens. When someone feels alone, we can be the one who reaches out. Listening to his narration, you sense his hope. Not naive hope, but a hard earned hope. The kind that believes in humanity despite its fractures.

Book/Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3MMEJLA

You can access the audiobook when you register on the Audible platform using the l!nk above.

02/21/2026

Some books inform you. This one validates you.

That's the difference. For anyone who has ever walked away from an interaction feeling confused, drained, and questioning their own reality, Julie Hall's book arrives like a witness who finally says: I see what happened to you. And you're not crazy.

Hall writes from a rare intersection: she's done the research, she understands the clinical landscape, but she also lived it. She grew up in a narcissistic family system herself. That combination, the professional expertise layered over personal experience, gives this book a warmth and credibility that most texts on narcissism lack. It doesn't feel like reading a textbook; it feels like sitting across from someone who gets it.

What makes this book stand out from the dozens of others on the topic is its depth. Readers who have "read dozens of books on narcissism" describe this one as the most profound, the most comprehensive, the most clarifying . Hall doesn't just skim the surface with checklists of traits. She takes you inside the narcissistic family system, inside the mind of the survivor, and crucially inside the recovery process.

Here are five lessons that will stay with me:

1. Narcissism Is More Complicated Than the Stereotype
When we hear "narcissist," we tend to picture the loud, arrogant, look-at-me type—the Donald Trumps of the world . Hall gently expands that picture. She introduces the concept of the closet narcissist, the more vulnerable, introverted type who may seem shy or even self-deprecating on the surface but operates from the same underlying entitlement and lack of empathy .

This was the insight that made several readers say the book "answered so many questions" . Because not every narcissist announces themselves with grandiosity. Some hide behind a facade of victimhood or quiet superiority. Hall helps you recognize the patterns regardless of the packaging.
She also distinguishes between exhibitionist, closet, and malignant narcissism, giving readers a vocabulary for what they've experienced . That vocabulary matters. It turns vague unease into something you can name, and once you can name it, you can start to address it.

2. The Narcissist's Inner World Is a House of Cards
This lesson was both illuminating and strangely compassion-inducing (without excusing the behavior). Hall reveals what lies beneath the confident exterior: a "fragile, unstable self, riddled with shame and emptiness" . Narcissists cannot generate self-worth from within. They need constant external validation, like a phone that can't hold a charge and must stay plugged in.

This explains so much. The rage when they're criticized. The inability to apologize. The refusal to self-reflect. Their "defenses are so rigid that even admitting vulnerability feels unbearable" . They micromanage their environment to ward off fears of being exposed, humiliated, or rejected Understanding this doesn't mean you forgive the abuse. But it does help you stop taking it personally. Their behavior was never really about you, it was about propping up a crumbling internal structure.

3. In a Narcissistic Family, Children Are Props, Not People
Hall's exploration of the narcissistic family system is where the book becomes truly indispensable. She describes how children in these families aren't seen as individuals with their own feelings and dreams. They're "extensions of the parent, tools to prop up an image, or buffers against insecurity" .

To survive the chaos, children are assigned roles—not chosen, but imposed. The golden child, who carries the family's hopes. The scapegoat, who carries the family's shame. The lost child, who fades into the background. The mascot, who tries to lighten the mood with humor . These roles can shift with the parent's moods, leaving children perpetually off-balance.

4. The Abuse Is Real, and It Leaves Real Wounds
Hall doesn't minimize. She names narcissistic abuse for what it is: a pattern of manipulation, gaslighting, projection, and control that creates profound psychological harm . The health fallout is real, anxiety, depression, complex PTSD, identity erosion .

5. Healing Is Possible, but It Requires Grief
The book doesn't leave you in the darkness. The final sections offer practical guidance: how to set boundaries, how to manage contact (low or no), how to rebuild your sense of self . But Hall is honest about what healing requires.

"One of the hardest, and most necessary, steps is allowing yourself to grieve" . Grieve the parent who never really loved you. Grieve the partner who only reflected your own devotion back at you. Grieve the years lost to confusion and pain. The grief is messy—"anger one day, sadness the next"—but when acceptance comes, "it loosens the grip of hurt and opens space for new experiences and joys" .

The Narcissist in Your Life is essential reading for anyone who has loved, been raised by, or worked alongside a narcissist. It's comprehensive without being overwhelming, compassionate without being sentimental, and practical without being reductive. One reviewer called it "a fundamental resource for your emotional healing toolbox" . Another said it "validated my feelings in so many ways" and "answered so many questions".

Julie Hall has done something rare: she's taken a painful, confusing, often isolating experience and held up a light. If you're in that darkness, let this book be your way out.

BOOK: https://amzn.to/4rE1LU0

02/19/2026

Healing begins when you realize that what you have been calling weakness was actually survival. That is the heartbeat of Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker. Not condemnation. Not diagnosis as a life sentence. But recognition. Gentle, firm recognition. And as Paul Brion narrates the audiobook, there is a steady compassion in his voice, like someone sitting across from you saying, you are not crazy, you are wounded. This book did not whisper to me. It looked me in the eyes.

1. Emotional flashbacks are not drama, they are relived pain: Pete Walker explains that complex PTSD is often marked by emotional flashbacks. Not visual flashbacks like we see in movies. Not dramatic scenes. But sudden floods of shame, fear, worthlessness, abandonment. You feel small, exposed, panicked, and you do not even know why. When I listened to this part, something shifted in me. He describes how a tone of voice, a facial expression, a minor mistake can trigger the body into a childlike terror. The adult disappears. The frightened child takes over. Walker does not shame that child. He teaches you to notice it. To say to yourself, this is an emotional flashback. I am safe now. I am not in the past. That sentence alone feels like oxygen.

2. The inner critic is not your true voice: One of the most powerful sections of the book is about the inner critic. That relentless voice that says, you are not enough, you are too much, you are the problem, you will fail, do not even try. Walker calls it out. He explains how children who grow up in unsafe environments internalize the critical voices around them. Over time, that external criticism becomes an internal tyrant. As I listened, I could almost feel the narrator slow down, letting each truth sink in. The inner critic is a survival adaptation. It believes that if it keeps you small and perfect, you will avoid danger. But it is outdated. It is not your protector anymore. Walker offers practical steps to shrink that critic. Not by fighting it with rage, but by firm, repeated correction. By building a compassionate inner parent. That image broke me in the best way. Becoming the safe adult you never had.

3. The Four F trauma responses explain so much: We all know fight or flight. Walker expands it into four trauma responses, fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. Fight types become aggressive and controlling. Flight types become workaholics, perfectionists, constantly busy. Freeze types dissociate, numb out, disappear into fantasy. Fawn types people please, over accommodate, abandon themselves to keep others calm. When I heard this, I stopped the audio. Because suddenly, patterns made sense. Not personality flaws. Trauma strategies. Walker does not label you to box you in. He gives language so you can understand your default coping style. And when you understand it, you gain choice. There is something deeply freeing about realizing, this was how I survived. And now I can learn a different way.

4. Grieving is not weakness, it is the doorway to thriving: Walker emphasizes the necessity of grieving. Not just one big cry. But ongoing, layered grief for what was lost, safety, protection, validation, childhood innocence. He does not sugarcoat it. Healing requires feeling. And feeling hurts. As Paul Brion narrates these sections, there is a softness that almost invites tears. Walker talks about grieving the childhood you did not get. Mourning the love you needed but did not receive. And here is the paradox, only by grieving the past can you stop unconsciously reliving it. Grief becomes cleansing. It loosens the grip of old pain. It makes space for self compassion.

5. Self compassion is a discipline, not a luxury: This book insists on something radical. You must learn to be on your own side. Not occasionally. Not when you perform well. But consistently. Walker describes reparenting yourself. Speaking kindly to yourself. Setting boundaries. Protecting your energy. Meeting your needs. At first it can feel fake. Even selfish. But he reframes it. If no one consistently nurtured you, you must learn to nurture yourself. That is not indulgence. That is repair. Listening to this felt like permission. Permission to rest. Permission to say no. Permission to stop proving my worth every second. Self compassion, in Walker’s world, is survival turned into strength.

6. Thriving is possible, even after chronic trauma: The title itself carries hope. From surviving to thriving. Walker does not promise a pain free life. He promises growth. He shares stories of clients who moved from constant emotional flashbacks to grounded self awareness. From toxic relationships to healthy boundaries. From self hatred to self acceptance. He is honest about setbacks. He acknowledges how nonlinear healing can be. But he never removes hope from the table. And that is what stayed with me. Complex PTSD is not a life sentence of brokenness. It is a wound that can be understood, tended, and gradually healed.

Book/Audiobook: https://amzn.to/4kIoN9Z

You can access the audiobook when you register on the Audible platform using the l!nk above.

02/19/2026

If you or someone you love is going through something hard right now, and let's be honest, that's probably most of us in some way, I want to tell you about a book that landed in my hands recently.

The Sweet Side of Suffering by M. Esther Lovejoy is not what you think. It's not one of those books that tells you to smile more and count your blessings and everything happens for a reason. It's not a pep talk. It's not sugar-coated .

Esther Lovejoy has been through things. Real things. Her husband, a pastor, fell into sin that ended his ministry and their marriage. A business partner's duplicity destroyed her business and she lost her home to foreclosure. Her children wandered from the faith down painful paths . She knows what she's talking about.

And yet she writes about something she calls the "sweet side" of suffering. Not sweet like honey. Sweet like finding water in a desert. Sweet like realizing, in the darkness, that you're not alone.

Here's a line that stopped me: "I've gotten to know God through my own times of struggle is that sometimes He will withhold what we think we must have for life in order to give us what He knows we MUST have for godliness. It is not always a comfortable exchange, but it is always a worthwhile one" .

The book is structured around ten different "sweetnesses" you can find in hard times, the sweetness of knowing God, of His voice, of His comfort, of surrender, of shared suffering . Each chapter reads like sitting with a wise friend who doesn't rush you, who lets you cry, who then gently points to something you might have missed.

What makes this book different from others on suffering is that Lovejoy doesn't just talk about theory. She uses her own life, the marriage loss, the financial ruin, the wandering children, as the raw material for hope. She's not standing above you dispensing advice. She's in the trench with you, pointing to the pinpricks of light she's learned to see.

Joni Eareckson Tada, who knows more about suffering than most of us can imagine, wrote the endorsement: "Those who see the 'sweet' side of suffering are usually believers who have learned to lean hard on the grace of Jesus through every hurt and heartache. It's a good description for Esther Lovejoy" .

The book is only about 160 pages . It's not a heavy theological treatise you'll struggle to get through. It's the kind of book you can read in small chunks, letting each chapter sit with you for a while. The kind you might underline and return to when the hard days come back, because they always do.

There's a Scripture index in the back, which I love, you can look up whatever you're wrestling with and find where Lovejoy has written about it .
Here's who I'd give this book to:

• Someone who just got a diagnosis they didn't want

• Someone who's lost a marriage or a job or a dream

• Someone who's watching a child struggle and can't fix it

• Someone who's been suffering for a long time and is tired of being told to just have more faith

• Someone who needs to know that God shows up in the dark, not just in the light

Lovejoy writes: "The sheep learn to know the shepherd's voice in the ordinary days of life so that in a time of crisis it can be immediately recognized" . This book is for the crisis times, yes. But it's also for the ordinary days, the ones where you're building the relationship with the Shepherd that will carry you when the crisis comes.

If you're in a hard season right now, or if you love someone who is, get this book. Read it slowly. Let it do its work. You might just find, as Lovejoy promises, that there is sweetness to be found even here.

BOOK: https://amzn.to/4aD0ZQa

02/19/2026

Mike Robbins’ journey to writing this book started with a shattered dream. After being drafted by the New York Yankees and pitching in the minor leagues, a career-ending arm injury forced him to answer a brutal question: "Who am I without baseball?". Out of that identity crisis came this book, a collection of 40 short, conversational essays born from his own struggle with the self-criticism he realized was "epidemic in our culture".

The result isn't a typical self-help manual with strict steps. Instead, it reads like a heartfelt conversation with a friend who's been there. Robbins blends personal stories with those of his clients to explore our most important and challenging relationship: the one we have with ourselves . He argues that we often base our worth on external things, our jobs, appearance, or achievements, and that the key to happiness is making peace with who we are, flaws and all.

4 Key Lessons from the Book:

1. Embrace Authenticity and Vulnerability
Robbins argues that being real is more important than being right. Authenticity means embracing your imperfections and having the courage to be vulnerable, which he frames not as a weakness, but as a profound source of strength that builds trust and deeper connections with others.

2. Practice Self-Compassion, Not Self-Criticism
We are often our own harshest critics. Robbins teaches that treating yourself with the same kindness you'd offer a friend, especially during moments of failure, is crucial for growth. Self-compassion allows for healing and resilience, whereas harsh self-judgment only keeps you stuck.

3. Your Value Is Inherent, Not Earned
A core message is that you are valuable simply "because you're you". Your worth is not tied to your productivity, your bank account, or what others think of you. Separating your identity from these external factors is essential to getting out of your own way.

4. Focus on What You Can Control
The book encourages letting go of the need to manage everything, especially the actions and opinions of others. By focusing your energy on your own responses, choices, and mindset, and by practicing gratitude for what you have, you reclaim your power and can navigate change with more ease .

If you're looking for a gentle, affirming read that feels like a pep talk for your soul, this book delivers.

BOOK: https://amzn.to/4aK1OGT

02/18/2026

This book starts with a bang. Literally. Geri Scazzero, a pastor's wife and mother of four, walks into her kitchen and tells her husband, "I quit." She quits the church they founded together. She quits the life she was supposed to want. And that moment of quitting everything became the beginning of actually finding herself.

The Emotionally Healthy Woman is the story of what happened next.

For years, Geri was dying on the inside while looking successful on the outside. She was raising four young daughters, pastoring a thriving multiracial church in Queens, New York, and trying to be the perfect Christian woman . But she felt like a single parent. She was exhausted, angry, and depressed. She was pretending everything was fine when it absolutely was not .

The book is structured around eight things she had to quit, not her marriage or her faith, but the unhealthy patterns that were suffocating her. Each chapter tackles one "quit": Quit being afraid of what others think, quit lying, quit denying your anger and sadness, quit blaming, quit overfunctioning, quit faulty thinking, quit dying to the wrong things, and quit living someone else's life.
Key Lessons That Actually Hit Home:

1. Quitting Isn't Giving Up, It's Clearing Out
This is the whole point of the book, and it's probably the most freeing thing you'll read. In Christian circles especially, "quitting" sounds like failure. But Geri makes a powerful distinction: there are things worth dying to (selfishness, pride, sin) and things you should never die to (your God-given personality, your emotions, your boundaries) . When you quit the wrong things—like people-pleasing, denial, or overfunctioning, you make space for the right things.
Quitting isn't the end. It's the beginning of actually being alive.

2. What Other People Think of You Is None of Your Business
The first chapter dives deep into this, and Geri is brutally honest about her own struggle. For years, her identity was built on being liked, being a "good pastor's wife," and avoiding anyone's disapproval . She realized she was "okay" only as long as others thought she was okay. The biblical truth she had to learn (and reteach herself) is that her worth comes from being made in God's image and from her identity in Christ, not from the approval ratings of everyone around her .
If you need everyone to approve of you, you'll never be free. Your "okayness" is not up for a vote.

3. Your Feelings Are Not the Enemy
Many of us were taught that anger, sadness, and fear are "unspiritual." Gerie calls this out as dangerous. She had spent years denying her anger and sadness, shoving them down, pretending to be fine. But those feelings don't disappear, they fester . Learning to acknowledge and even sit with her anger was a crucial step toward emotional health. It wasn't about letting anger control her, but about stopping the lie that everything was okay when it wasn't.

You can't heal what you won't feel. Your emotions are signals, not sins.

4. Stop Overfunctioning (Aka Doing Everyone Else's Job)
This chapter hits hard for anyone who's the "responsible one." Overfunctioning is when you do for others what they can and should do for themselves. You pick up the slack, you anticipate everyone's needs, you carry the mental load for the whole family or workplace. Geri realized she was overfunctioning everywhere, and it was killing her . Learning to let others take responsibility (and sometimes fail) was a painful but necessary part of her growth.

When you do everything, you rob others of the chance to grow—and you rob yourself of the chance to rest.

This book reminded me of the permission God gave me to stop doing what He never required of me. Baby! Weights were lifted!

It's not a quick fix. It's not a list of five easy steps. It's a companion for the hard work of becoming emotionally healthy, and it will meet you right where you are.

If you've ever felt like you're drowning in other people's expectations, like you're giving and giving until there's nothing left, or like you're playing a role instead of living your life, this book will feel like someone finally gave you permission to stop .

BOOK: https://amzn.to/4aOVDCu

Enjoy the audiobook with a FREE trial using the same link

02/16/2026

There's a moment in this book where Dr. Apigian describes sitting in a bathtub, sobbing, her body broken and exhausted despite years of therapy and functional medicine. She'd done the work. She'd processed the memories. She'd addressed the trauma. And still, her body was falling apart, autoimmunity, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, depression.

And in that bathtub, she had the realization that became this book: her body wasn't broken. It was scared to let go.

That line stayed with me for weeks. Because I think most of us who've done any healing work know that feeling. You've talked about it. You've cried about it. You've understood it. But your body still holds tension in ways you can't release. Still startles at things that shouldn't be scary. Still gets sick, exhausted, inflamed, shut down. And you start to think: what's wrong with me? Why won't this heal?

Apigian's answer is simple and devastating: you've been treating the mind. But trauma lives in the body. In the cells. In the mitochondria. In the nervous system's deepest survival patterns . And until you address that, all the talk therapy in the world won't reach it.

I came to this book skeptical. I've read a lot of trauma literature, Van der Kolk, Levine, Mate, Porges. I know the landscape. I didn't expect to learn anything new. And then Apigian started talking about mitochondria, and I realized I'd been missing half the picture.

The book is structured in three parts: how the body experiences trauma, how it holds it, and how to heal it . That last part is crucial, because so many trauma books describe the problem beautifully and then leave you standing in the wreckage with no map out.

Apigian is a double board-certified physician in preventive and addiction medicine, with master's degrees in biochemistry and public health . She's not a therapist who read some neuroscience. She's a scientist who lived through her own breakdown and spent a decade researching what actually works.

The core argument is this: when we experience overwhelm, our bodies don't just file it away in memory. They shift into survival mode, freeze, dissociation, energy conservation, and sometimes stay there . That's not a choice. It's biology. The nervous system decides that the world isn't safe, and it keeps the body in a state of protective shutdown long after the danger has passed.

What I found most striking is her distinction between stress and trauma. Stress is something you can recover from. Trauma is what happens when the stress is too much for your system to process, and your body makes a permanent adjustment . Apigian puts it bluntly: "If it makes you sick 20 years later, that wasn't stress, that was trauma".

She introduces the concept of "the body trauma loop"—a pattern where the nervous system cycles between stress and overwhelm without ever reaching calm aliveness . You're either amped up or collapsed, never settled. And over time, that loop creates physical consequences: autoimmunity, chronic pain, metabolic issues, fatigue, brain fog.

The most mind-expanding section for me was about the connection between emotional toxins and biochemical toxins. Apigian argues that when your body holds emotional trauma, it also holds physical toxins, mold, heavy metals, plastics, parasites—because the same biological mechanism is involved . Your detoxification pathways shut down when your nervous system is in survival mode. You can't p**p, p*e, or sweat properly. The body constipates, physically and emotionally .

That explained so much about my own experience. The fatigue that doesn't shift. The way my body reacts to things it shouldn't. The sense of being heavy, stuck, unable to move through.

BOOK: https://amzn.to/463QvI8

Enjoy the audiobook with a FREE trial using the same link.

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