Dr. Rachel

Heal attachment wounds, release intergenerational trauma, and cultivate embodied connection.
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11/11/2025

It’s never just two adults communicating logically.

It’s two histories, two attachment patterns, two sets of memories that shaped how each person learned to love and protect.

When one gets quiet, the other might chase.

When one gets overwhelmed, the other might shut down.

Neither is wrong, they’re both adaptive. They’re just using the strategies that once kept them safe.

Real healing in relationship starts when both people recognize this:

We’re not enemies. We’re two humans trying to unlearn survival & deepen safety together.

💗 Type a heart in the comments if you’re on the healing path in your partnership.

11/07/2025

We all need space sometimes.

But there’s a difference between taking space to regulate and pulling away to protect an old wound.

One brings you closer to yourself & the other recreates distance you promised yourself you’d never feel again.

The work is learning the difference.

To pause, notice, and ask with honesty:

Am I seeking peace, or repeating a pattern?

✨ If you and your partner want to understand these cycles and learn how to stay connected through conflict, I have a few couples coaching spots open right now.

DM me “COUPLES” and we can talk about what this work could look like for you both.

11/01/2025

✨ If you and your partner are ready to explore how your pasts are shaping your present, and to learn tools that bring more awareness, safety, and connection into your relationship, I have a few couples coaching spots open right now.

DM me “COUPLES” if you’d like to talk about what working together could look like.

10/30/2025

People think that talking about difficult things will make the relationship worse.

But what actually creates distance is avoiding the conversations that need to happen.

The truth is, real intimacy requires clarity about needs, boundaries, expectations, and desires.

Avoidance might keep things calm on the surface, but underneath, it breeds resentment.

And resentment is often less about what your partner is doing wrong, and more about where you aren’t speaking up for what you need.

It’s a signal that more direct, honest communication is needed.

When both people are willing to show up for those conversations & to listen, reflect, and be accountable then authenticity grows.

You stop walking on eggshells and start building something that’s actually trustworthy.

If you’re with someone who wants to love you well and do the work, those conversations are how you deepen safety, not lose it.

✨ I have a few limited spots for couples ready to do this work with me one-on-one.
If you’d like to explore what that could look like, DM me and we can talk about the options.

10/28/2025

Any healthy, conscious relationship involves some degree of inner child healing work.

Because we each carry early experiences that shaped our lens of how we love, how we protect, how we react when we feel unsafe.

For those of you in unhealthy, toxic, or abusive dynamics, inner child work does not excuse bad behavior.

Boundaries, safety, and discernment come first.

This isn’t about bypassing what’s harmful or staying in situations that hurt you.

This is for those who are in loving partnerships,
who want to deepen care and connection,
and who want to stay anchored in love even when triggers arise.

We often choose partners who mirror what’s unresolved from childhood.

And that gives us two choices:
to become sources of reenactment…
or sources of healing.

If you want to choose healing & to learn how to meet each other’s inner child with empathy, awareness, and skill — I’d love to support you.

✨ Couples Lab begins the second week of January.
It’s a six-week immersive designed for couples who are ready to create more love, safety, and excitement together through conscious effort and embodied practice.
Spots are intentionally limited, and it’s currently on sale for a short time.

DM me “COUPLES LAB” or tap the link in bio to learn more and save your spot. 💓

10/23/2025

Interrupting the pattern begins with humility.

It requires awareness of your own raw spots —
and sensitivity to your partner’s as well.

It asks for a willingness to stay open in disagreement,
to depersonalize your partner’s experience of you,
and to trust that something deeper and more sacred is unfolding beneath the surface.

In a healthy partnership, where both people are showing up to do the work and genuinely want to love each other well, nothing is outside the realm of possibility.

Even the patterns and habits that come from childhood wounds, family modeling, or unmet needs can be transformed.

Conflict, in that context, isn’t a sign that something’s broken.

It’s a sacred opportunity to wake up.
To communicate from a more vulnerable place.

To soften the defenses, humble the habits, and take honest inventory of how you’re showing up & whether it supports the connection you want to have or not.

When both people choose to do that work, it’s profoundly healing & beautiful.

✨ I currently have limited spots open for couples coaching sessions, and through this weekend, I’m offering a special discounted rate on all packages.

If you and your partner are ready to transform old patterns and create a relationship that truly supports your growth, reach out.

DM me “COUPLES” to talk about what working together could look like.

10/22/2025

The greatest gift you can give your partner
is your self-reflection, self-awareness, and your willingness to grow.

A lot of people believe we should choose someone we never want to change. And while there’s incredible wisdom in loving someone for who they are right now, there’s also wisdom in recognizing that real relationship is an invitation to evolve.

Saying yes to partnership — especially long-term — is saying yes to riding the wave of each other’s growth and transformation.

So don’t look for the person who’s perfect, or who will never trigger you, or who will get it right every time.
That person doesn’t exist.

Look for the one who’s willing to do the work.
And *be* the one who’s willing to do the work.

The real mark of emotional maturity isn’t perfection — it’s the ability to notice where we’re defended, reactive, or reenacting old patterns, and to take responsibility for our impact.

A healthy relationship holds space for both:
to be loved and accepted exactly as you are,
and to be trusted to keep growing.

That’s what makes love safe, alive, and sustainable over time.

✨ Limited spots left for couples coaching with me — for those who are ready to deepen self-awareness, communication, and connection together.

DM me “COUPLES” if you’d like to talk about getting started.

10/20/2025

When we trace these patterns back, they began long before the relationship did.

What we learned as children about love, safety, and belonging shows up here in tone, timing, facial expressions, reactivity, and silence.

But the good news is this: awareness & commitment to change liberates patterning.

When even one partner can pause and notice, “We’re in our old pattern again,” and bring curiosity instead of defense, the cycle softens.

That’s how healing happens. It’s not by never getting triggered, but by learning to meet those triggers with compassion and accountability.

⸻

✨ If you and your partner are ready to explore the roots of your patterns and create a relationship that feels safer, deeper, and more connected, I have a few couples coaching packages open right now.
I’d love to support your growth together.

🕊️ DM me “COUPLES” or click the link in bio to begin.

Address

Orinda, CA

Website

http://heydrrachel.com/

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