Dr. Rachel, Orinda, CA (2026)

01/31/2026

This healthy partnership thing is a 2-person job. DM me to explore if Secure Together is right for you & your partner ❤️

01/29/2026

We can’t do the work for each other.
And we can’t force our partner to do the work for themselves — or for us.

What we can do is look honestly at how we contribute to the dynamic.

Through reactivity.
Through aggression or defensiveness.
Through minimization.
Through people-pleasing.
Through collusion.

Whatever role we learned to play to stay connected.

It’s our responsibility to know what our role is — and what it would look like to do it differently.

Not just in service of creating a healthier partnership,
but in service of becoming more of who we want to be.

Because this work isn’t only about saving a relationship.

It’s about no longer relating from childhood wounding, protection, or survival strategies —
and learning how to show up from a more mature, regulated adult self.

When we do that, relationships either deepen…
or tell the truth.

And either way, we grow.

—

I currently have 1 opening for my couples coaching container, Secure Together.
If you and your partner want support shifting out of old dynamics and into real repair and mutual responsibility, DM me to discuss.

01/26/2026

Sometimes what keeps us attached isn’t love. It’s the unconscious hope that being chosen will finally make us feel worthy.

And when someone can’t meet us, the nervous system doesn’t usually say, “They’re not available.”
It says, “I must not be enough yet.”

This is one of the deepest relational loops I see and one of the most healing to unwind.

If you recognize yourself here and feel the pull to do this work more deeply, I’m opening space for individuals to enter my Safe to Love Intensive — an intimate container focused on healing the roots of attachment, worth, and emotional availability.

If you’re curious, you can DM me “SAFE” and I’ll share details with you 🤍

You don’t have to keep using relationships to prove your worth.

01/20/2026

If you want to build this kind of capacity from the inside out, I teach this work step-by-step inside Healing the Inner Child.

👉 Link in my bio to start.

01/15/2026

This isn’t avoidance.
It’s relational maturity.

And it’s a skill.

One that lives in your nervous system, your inner child, and the parts of you that learned how to survive closeness long before your current relationship ever existed.

If you want to build this capacity from the inside out, my Healing the Inner Child course is a deep, guided path into nervous system regulation, attachment repair, and emotional self-leadership.

It’s where you learn how to meet what gets activated in you with compassion instead of reactivity so your relationships can become safer, steadier, and more real.

Link in bio to join 🤍

01/13/2026

The more secure you become, the healthier your relationships become.

The more capacity you build inside yourself, the better you are at choosing who to be with and at creating a partnership that can actually support safety, trust, and mutual growth.

Security isn’t something you wait for someone else to give you.

It’s something you cultivate.

It shows up as the ability to stay present in conflict.
To regulate instead of react.
To stop defaulting to the strategies you learned you needed as a child in order to stay connected.

This kind of change doesn’t happen through insight alone.

It happens through devotion to a different way of relating to yourself and a willingness to stay in the practice.

And when you do, the way you experience love, conflict, intimacy, and choice genuinely transforms.

This is not reserved for a few people who “got lucky.”
It’s something you deserve.
And it’s something you can build.

This is the work I guide people through inside Healing the Inner Child — a structured, self-healing course focused on nervous system awareness, emotional re-parenting, and creating the internal safety that allows secure love to grow.

If this is where you’re stuck, the structured work I teach is inside Healing the Inner Child.

👉 Link in bio to access it now.

01/09/2026

If you recognize yourself in these patterns, or you’re in a relationship where they’re present, I want you to hear this clearly:

You’re not bad.
You’re not broken.
You’re not failing at love.

What’s usually missing isn’t care.
It’s connection to yourself.

To your feelings.
To your body.
To the younger places in you that learned how to protect instead of how to stay open & flexible.

When we’re not deeply connected to our own inner world, we don’t yet have the internal safety that secure relationships require.

And no amount of insight, good intentions, or talking things through will substitute for that.

Insight can help you understand.
But it does not build capacity.

Capacity is built through practice.

Through learning to be with your emotions.

Through developing a relationship with your inner child.

Through slowly, consistently changing how you meet yourself.

That work happens in your relationship with you.

And it’s what makes new ways of relating possible.

If you want support with this, my Healing the Inner Child course is available for a limited time for instant access. It’s a deep, practical resource for building emotional safety, self-connection, and relational capacity from the inside out.

DM me “inner child” and I’ll send you the link. ❤️

01/07/2026

Most couples don’t break because they stop loving each other.

They break because they don’t yet have the capacity to be with what love brings up.

Needs.
Feelings.
Rupture.
Repair.
Boundaries.
Disappointment.
Longing.
Impact.

None of these end healthy relationships.

What ends relationships is when one or both partners don’t yet have the nervous system capacity, emotional maturity, or relational skill to meet those moments without collapsing into blame, withdrawal, defensiveness, or control.

This is the real work of partnership.

Not “better communication tips.”
Not surface-level tools.
Not trying harder.

But building the internal capacity to:
• stay present when you’re activated
• take responsibility for impact
• tolerate discomfort without shutting down or attacking
• repair in ways that restore safety
• tell the truth with compassion
• hear the truth without collapsing

This is what I do with couples.

I don’t help people win arguments.
I help them build the capacity that makes repair, trust, intimacy, and longevity possible.

Because love doesn’t fail.

Untrained nervous systems do.

And capacity can be built.

🤍

I’m currently opening a small number of spaces for couples who are serious about strengthening their foundation and doing this work with depth and support.

If you and your partner want private guidance to build real relational capacity, you can DM me the word CAPACITY and we can talk about whether working together is the right fit.

01/06/2026

Couples don’t come to me saying,
“I wish we just had more chemistry.”

They come to me saying things like:

“We don’t know how to get through conflict without hurting each other.”

“We keep having the same rupture.”

“We don’t feel safe anymore.”

“We don’t know how to repair.”

“We love each other, but we’re stuck.”

Chemistry matters.
Attraction matters.
Aliveness matters.

But chemistry is almost never the thing that breaks a relationship.

What actually breaks relationships is a lack of capacity.

The capacity to stay present when you’re activated.

The capacity to take responsibility without collapsing or defending.

The capacity to be emotionally available.

The capacity to repair in a way that restores trust.

The capacity to tell the truth with care.

The capacity to work with differences instead of turning them into threats.

When couples build this kind of relational capacity, almost everything becomes workable.

Desire. Intimacy. Communication. Differences. Even chemistry.

Because chemistry can be explored.
Desire can be cultivated.
Patterns can be transformed.

But only when two people have the emotional maturity and relational skill to actually do the work.

This is what I help couples build.

The kind of connection that creates safety, trust, and a foundation strong enough for chemistry to meet capacity.

If you’re interested in exploring working with me, send me a DM telling me a bit about your relationship, what’s going on, and if your partner is on board with the work. ❤️

12/31/2025

For people with attachment trauma — histories where closeness with the people you loved wasn’t safe — adult partnership is never just two people coming together simply.

Love doesn’t only become something you share and cultivate.

It becomes an activating force that brings healing and reveals the places that learned to protect against it.

That’s not a failure.
It’s what intimacy does.

So if you’re struggling in relationship, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re doing something wrong.

It may mean you don’t have enough support for what’s being asked of you.

Support isn’t a sign of weakness or dysfunction. It’s what this kind of healing actually requires.

It’s what you deserve.
And it’s normal.

If you want support building repair with your partner in a way that feels safe and mutual, DM me “repair.”
Final chance to secure current package pricing before the new year 🙏🏽🎉❤️

12/31/2025

Don’t get me wrong, of course learning communication tools matters.

So does sharing vulnerably.

So does self-awareness, reflection, and insight.

But none of that creates a safe foundation for healing if accountability is missing.

When one or both partners consistently blame the other for what’s not working, the relationship stops being a place where real repair can happen. Safety erodes. Defensiveness grows. Healing stalls.

And while there are moments when one partner’s growth edge may be more visible than the other’s, every meaningful intimate relationship is a dynamic system.

Core material gets activated.
Old fears come online.
Attachment wounds surface.

Your partner becomes a mirror not to punish you, but to show you what you learned, what you fear, and how you’re showing up in ways that either build or erode trust and safety between you.

When both people are willing to slow down, reflect, take responsibility for their impact, and stay engaged in repair, something profound becomes possible.

Relationship stops being a battleground and becomes a place of healing for both inner children, both lineages, and often far beyond the two people involved.

That kind of relationship doesn’t happen by accident.
It’s built together.

If you and your partner want support learning how to do this work mutually, DM me “repair.” ❤️

Dr. Rachel

01/31/2026

01/29/2026

01/26/2026

01/20/2026

01/15/2026

01/13/2026

01/09/2026

01/07/2026

01/06/2026

12/31/2025

12/31/2025

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