The Equine Haven LLC

11/05/2025

11/05/2025

The same mentality is true for horses.

The same mentality is true for children.

❤️‍🩹

11/05/2025

One of my students asked why we don't use whips here, she has been to other barns who do and use them gently and fairly.

First, i'll start by saying this isn't a "whips are cruel, only bad people use them, it's abuse" speech. I believe knowledgeable people can and do use whips in a way that is gentle, fair, and provides guidance when a horse needs some clarity.

So why don't we use this tool if it can be used well?

Whips are not just a tool, they are symbol, they carry a meaning, a history, implications, and conditioned emotions. Not just for horses. Whips are a symbol of control and oppression through violence, force, and fear. Whether you're controlling a human or an animal, the whip is a tool of coercion and force.

It carries a meaning we do not want to be introduced into our relationship with our animals. When we hold a whip we hold a feeling of control, a feeling of force, a feeling of violence. We hold a means to coerce and manipulate our learner through fear.

Even when used gently a whip is a tool that is working through avoidance. The horse works to make the whip go away, either because it's irritating, uncomfortable, or painful - inherently or because it has been conditioned to be so. Even wild horses who have never seen one, even baby horses, know whips are something to worry about. If they weren't bothered by the whip, if it is desensitized, the horse would not work to make it go away. Simply put, if they didn't dislike it, it wouldn't work.

While they can be a useful tool of guidance they are unnecessary, there is nothing a horse needs to know that needs a whip. But i find if you are skilled enough to use a whip well, you are skilled enough to not need it. Anything a whip can do a target can do equally well from an opposite emotional direction.

A whip is a tool, a symbol, and a conditioned emotional response from human and horse that just doesn't need to be a part of our relationship with out animals.

*Disclaimer: i am referring to actual whips used as aversives, not a whip that has been converted into a target

11/04/2025

Instead of “How was your day?”, try questions that open the door to real connection 💬✨

Ask things like:
💭 “What made you laugh today?”
🎨 “Did anything surprise you?”
🤝 “Who did you sit with at lunch?”
❤️ “What was something kind you did or saw?”

These questions invite your child to share their world — not just their day.

👉 For more ways to connect with your child, check out Guidance from The Therapist Parent at www.thetherapistparent.com or on Amazon.

11/04/2025

Empathy pause ❤️‍🩹

11/04/2025

You cannot cast a blanket of evil on others of another race or religion and call yourself “Good”.

11/04/2025

PSA: Our facility does not tolerate racist or homophobic behavior of any kind from any professionals or volunteers we are connected with.

We define racist behavior and bigoted behavior as defined by the NASW per my licensure.

If you post racist or bigoted content on social media we will disconnect.

11/03/2025

This little study had me muttering under my breath more than once 😂 (mostly at the fingers, not the horse’s nose!).

It’s a relatively tricky piece with all sorts going on - blending, colour mixing, endless layering… and of course, Pastelmat came to the rescue. I love how forgiving it is, when you slip up slightly, you can just layer right over the top.

Drawn from my own photo.

Want to learn how to draw bay horses? Watch my full tutorial on YouTube 👉 https://youtu.be/t0kHj9uCCkk?feature=shared

11/03/2025

In my clinical practice I see too many families who keep their kids “busy” but not connected.

11/02/2025

a thought worth pondering

11/01/2025

✨ Trying to change behaviour without connection is like opening a door without a key — you might force it open, but it will leave a mark. 💔

Connection is the key that allows change to happen safely.
When a child feels seen, understood and valued, they don’t need to defend — they can learn.

🔑 Lead with connection, and growth will follow.

📖 From my book, Guidance from The Therapist Parent — available at www.thetherapistparent.com and on Amazon.