06/09/2024
Tea-time: (This is very real and very close to my heart, but I can't keep from sharing it, because it literally just happened and is a fresh wound added to my heart. When I say this s**t blind-sided me, like I don't even know the words to mf use to explain the shock and awe I'm still in over how this went down. Just bear with me as I tell how things went down from my brains perspective of that day).
I am currently losing my mf mind, trying to keep it from driving me insane.
Over what you ask??
Over why one of the realest mf's I thought I knew . . .
Turned on me so quick, ya'll it literally happened overnight.
One minute . . .
I'm helping someone very close to me after going through one of the most painful surgery's anyone could possibly experience. Getting that hip replaced & basically, having to learn to walk all over again afterwards.
I left the comfort of my home to go stay with this important person in my life.
I did this for 48-hours you guys.
Well, 2 nights, 3 days. (but who's counting)
I barely slept.
I trained my brain to listen for her & the smallest of her movements. When she needed to get up, or just sit in a more comfortable position.
I've never took care of anyone like this before, but I did it because I love her.
I did it because I care.
However, on the third day . . .
When I was so tired I couldn't hold a conversation, and admittedly told her so.
I was so exhausted between tending to all of her needs and trying to do college coursework . . .
My brain was literally shutting my body down.
Guess what though?
Because I admitted to how tired I was, and that I couldn't hold a conversation.
This person went behind my back & called my husband & told him I was fu**ed up. (how I used to get before prison)
That he needed to come get me.
Needless to say, he wasn't in the best of moods upon his arrival.
I woke up to him standing in the room, looking down at me, her at his side . . .
Asking me very sternly if I was ready to go.
I was still clouded by sleep, confused as to what had him so aggravated.
After asking him if he was okay, he responded with 'yeah just a bad day'.
I said let me get my things and go p*e and I'll be ready.
Tell me why I hear whispering far off, away from the bathroom door?
So, I yell out his name, no answer.
I yell out her name, no answer.
Then I say both their names and tell them I know I'm loud & I know they heard me, no answer.
I call his phone and ask what they whispering about?
He replied, "You".
"What about me?"
"I'm trying to tell her you're not fu**ed up."
"Excuse me? Huh-say-what?"
I swear, right hand to God, this woman I done been taking care of for two full days came in the bathroom on me and cussed me up one side and down another!!
In my head I'm like, 'where in tf, all of a sudden this come from?'
I was seething mad, hurt, in disbelief, and in shock. (that word pops up a lot through this lil schpeal)
Petty s**t was said.
Petty things were done.
No, nothing physical went down like a fight because I have respect for her.
It didn't even cross my mind frfr.
That is, until I was in the truck on my way home.
My husband taught me honesty.
Showed me the value of truth & respect.
I learned it a bit late in life but better late than never.
Right??
He looked at me and I looked at him and he apologized to me.
I wasn't understanding why, until he dropped what he said next.
When they were whispering about me, accusing me of being fu**ed up wasn't the only thing she said.
He looked down, then right back into my eyes and said,
'She also said to me that you didn't deserve me, I'm too good for you, and that you treated me like s**t.'
????????
WHAT???
That's when the anger came in.
That's how the frustration got in.
Then, to add to all that,
5-hours after us being home,
5-hours after talking about everything that happened over and over until we were both blue in the face.
She calls his phone leaving a voicemail, accusing me of stealing all of her pain meds except 18 of them.
1st of all: I'm on Suboxone and have been since 2019-2020.
When I heard that accusation leave her mouth, I was sp*echless. Remembering all times I done been in her home around things no one else knew about that was never taken or so much even touched.
Idk ya'll, I'm just at a loss for words, feeling, actions.
I can't believe any of this happened, when I only acted out of loving kindness.
Okay, that's enough of that.
It's just something that happened and I have no clue why.
Plus, never would I nor have I ever, taken anyone's pain med's right after a major surgery.
My brain hurts. I'm done for now.
