Conscious Relationship Group

Conscious Relationship Group Concious Relationship Group offers individual & couples coaching and online courses for building, healthy conscious relationships.
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Order Jessica's new book, SAFE, and get free powerful gifts to support your journey at jessicabaumlmhc.com/safe Founded by Jessica Baum LMHC in 2017, Be Self-full is a team of highly skilled psychotherapists who help individuals with relationship issues. We are deeply committed to helping people move from a state of loneliness and confusion to a place of safety and contentment with hope for the future. Whether you are in a relationship or single, struggling with dependency or trauma, in order to move forward, cultivating a deeper understanding of your own self is paramount. In doing deeper core work—and understanding why we find ourselves stuck in patterns and situations—we are able to form healthier relationships with ourselves and consequently, have healthier relationships with others. The core of most mental health issues centers around getting to know your truth, understanding how and why you are where you are, and then creating awareness and a deeper understanding around it. Once you connect with yourself—and only then—can you start to develop healthier relationships with yourself and those around you.

I think we've all been here before. One night, you're giving your friend the most solid advice about their relationship....
02/26/2026

I think we've all been here before. One night, you're giving your friend the most solid advice about their relationship. Then, the very next second, you're making excuses for the exact same patterns in your own relationship.

It can be one of the most frustrating parts for someone with anxious attachment. You can spot red flags for everyone else but yourself, and you can rationalize your partner's behavior like a pro. Suddenly, "they're just busy," or "they've been through a lot," and even, "It's different when we're together."

And the wild part? You genuinely believe these explanations. You're not even lying to yourself on purpose. Your brain is doing exactly what it was wired to do when you have an anxious attachment style: protect connection at all costs.

Why? Well, when you're anxiously attached, your attachment system perceives any threat to connection/relationship as a threat (because connection is a biological imperative). So, when you start noticing red flags, your brain faces an important choice:

1- Acknowledge the red flag and risk the connection
2- Rationalize the behavior and keep the bond intact

Your nervous system is almost always going to choose the second option, because losing the connection feels more dangerous than staying in something unhealthy. Ouch, right?

So, how can you switch it?

First, you have to stop shaming yourself. I know, it's way easier said than done, but you have to try and remember that your brain is always trying to protect you, it just doesn't always have the best strategies.

Next, try to build awareness around when you make excuses for your partner's red flags. You can try to approach it as if it was your best friend's partner instead of yours, which could offer a new perspective.

Finally, start practicing actually tolerating the clarity you have. It's going to be uncomfortable to see and voice the red flags, but this is really how you get to the other side.

You deserve a relationship that is healthy and full of conscious choice.

If you don’t wait to read a long caption, it’s really as simple as this: it if feels like a movie montage in week one, i...
02/25/2026

If you don’t wait to read a long caption, it’s really as simple as this: it if feels like a movie montage in week one, it’s probably not sustainable.

And, I know, I get it! Those fast and quick relationships can light up everything in your body. But the reality is, it’s your nervous system, not love.

It’s important to note that love bombing isn’t just “really liking someone” or being excited about a new connection, but a specific pattern of behavior designed (whether consciously or subconsciously) to overwhelm you, create artificial intimacy, and fast-track emotional dependence before you even have a chance to see who they really are.

And love bombing works really well on anxiously attached people, because it truly feels like the love you’ve been waiting for. They feel like they’re all in and they see you, wanting you as much as you want them.

The hardest part is: love bombing is more of a performance than anything else, and the intensity you feel will eventually have a curtain call. It’s not sustainable for either side, really.

Eventually, they always pull away, often suddenly, and either break it off completely or enter a cycle of unpredictable availability.

But, when you see love bombing for what it really is, then you can start making different choices, because you really do deserve someone who shows up consistently for you, not someone who just performs love until they can’t anymore.

What questions do you have about love bombing?

This is for all of you that are still out there checking your ex’s social media weeks or months after the breakup… You m...
02/24/2026

This is for all of you that are still out there checking your ex’s social media weeks or months after the breakup…

You might tell yourself it’s harmless and based solely on curiosity, but if you’re being really honest with yourself, you know it’s more of a compulsion than anything else.

What’s actually happening is you’re (more than likely) addicted to the anxiety they gave you, and your nervous system is in withdrawal. When you were with them, especially if they were emotionally unavailable or inconsistent, your body lived in a state of hyper activation.

Your amygdala, which is the part of your brain responsible for threat detection, was constantly scanning for signs of disconnection. You’re always left wondering if they’ll text back, pull away, or mean something deeper.

This has created a neurochemical cocktail of cortisol (stress hormone), adrenaline (fight/flight response), and intermittent dopamine (reward) that hits when they finally did show up or text you back. Your brain started associating this activation with intimacy.

Now, even though the relationship is over, your nervous system is still seeking that familiar pattern. It craves the uncertainty, analyzing, and hope that maybe seeking a certain post or story will either give you closure or an explanation.

Every time you check their profile, you’re essentially giving your brain a hit of the drug it’s been conditioned to need. You might get a spike of cortisol when you see they’re out with friends, get stuck analyzing mode when you notice they post something cryptic, or even find temporary relief when you don’t see anything.

And this is why it’s so hard to stop.

You have to let go of a nervous system pattern that’s been reinforced over and over and over again.

Here’s the thing you need to know, though: You can’t heal while you’re still feeding the cycle that kept you anxious in the first place. Just know that stopping, at first, is going to feel worse before it starts to feel better, because your nervous system is going to protest.

These are all signs that your body is finally coming down from years of hyper activation. You can do this.

Life lately…I have not written one of these in a while so here it goes.2026 has been good to me. Really good.Opportuniti...
02/22/2026

Life lately…

I have not written one of these in a while so here it goes.

2026 has been good to me. Really good.

Opportunities for one of my companies have opened in ways I never could have predicted. The kind that do not come from forcing but from alignment.

I signed with a new agent this year. It was bittersweet. My previous agent was a rock star and I will always be grateful for what we built together. But this new partnership feels deeply aligned with who I am now and with this third book idea I have quietly cooking.

And speaking of that book, I am co authoring it with someone I deeply admire. The creative synergy feels real. It feels expansive. It feels like we are going to make something meaningful together. I am beyond excited to be back in that creative flow and enjoying every single step of the process.

Love is good too. Not set in stone yet but open. My heart feels open. I feel ready. I feel grounded. I feel grateful. And I can sense that opportunities for love are all around me. I am not chasing anything. I am allowing what is meant for me to meet me where I stand.

I left a love that once defined so much of my life. And today I can honestly say I am deeply in love with my life.

2026 feels forward moving. Like momentum. Like things falling into place rather than being forced into place. Thank you for all of those who are supporting me. I see you! 🩵💚🩵

I am building, creating, and loving from a place of alignment. And that feels like the most beautiful chapter yet.

Life lately…I have not written one of these in a while so here it goes.2026 has been good to me so far! Really good.Oppo...
02/22/2026

Life lately…

I have not written one of these in a while so here it goes.

2026 has been good to me so far! Really good.

Opportunities for one of my companies have opened in ways I never could have predicted. The kind that do not come from forcing but from alignment.

I signed with a new agent this year. It was bittersweet. My previous agent was a rock star and I will always be grateful for what we built together. But this new partnership feels deeply aligned with who I am now and with this third book idea I have quietly cooking.

And speaking of that book, I am co authoring it with someone I deeply admire. The creative synergy feels real. It feels expansive. It feels like we are going to make something meaningful together. I am beyond excited to be back in that creative flow and enjoying every single step of the process.

Love is good too. Not set in stone yet but open. My heart feels open. I feel ready. I feel grounded. I feel grateful. And I can sense that opportunities for love are all around me. I am not chasing anything. I am allowing what is meant for me to meet me where I stand.

I left a love that once defined so much of my life. And today I can honestly say I am deeply in love with my life.

2026 feels forward moving. Like momentum. Like things falling into place rather than being forced into place.

I am building, creating, and loving from a place of alignment. And that feels like the most beautiful chapter yet. Thank you to all of those who are here with me and supporting me. I see you.

Struggling to let go of that inconsistent partner (even though you know you deserve and want better)? This might be more...
02/20/2026

Struggling to let go of that inconsistent partner (even though you know you deserve and want better)? This might be more biological than you think.

The brain is especially sensitive to intermittent reinforcement, which is when connection (or reward) comes and goes unpredictability. When this happens, dopamine pathways activate more strongly than they do with steady reward (or connection). So, the unpredictability of an inconsistent partner can create a craving and deepens the emotional investment.

Then, when you add on your attachment history to that, especially if you’re more anxiously attached (when your earliest connections with your caregivers required earning, waiting, or adapting), and that inconsistent relationship can feel activating and meaningful.

Your nervous system bonds to those moments when the distance lifts and closeness returns. It feels the relief in your entire body. This helps your nervous system regulate, which your body remembers well.

Here’s the thing, though, if you want safety in your body, you need consistency.

And while it’s hard to let go of the hope from who someone could be, becoming more aware allows you to have a choice in the matter.

And building more secure patterns comes with choice.

Is your nervous system running the relationship (and maybe even ruining it, too)? You can be trying as hard as possible ...
02/18/2026

Is your nervous system running the relationship (and maybe even ruining it, too)? You can be trying as hard as possible to stay calm or communicate better, but when you’re dysregulated, these signs show up automatically.

Your body will always react before logic is able to catch up.

Which is why understanding your attachment style isn’t enough. You’re able to see your patterns, know why you over-explain, recognize when you’ve withdrawn, and yet, still be triggered anyways.

And this is where the shame likes to creep in. You start thinking, “I know better, so what am I doing?” But your nervous system really is doing what it learned to do to keep you safe.

And, unfortunately, insight alone won’t provide the relief and healing you’re looking for. Instead, you need a way to integrate what you’re learning and build repeated experiences of safety to actually rewire how your brain thinks.

This can happen with somatic processing (feeling it instead of just thinking about it), co-regulation (safe connection while learning), and repetition over time (consistent practice).

Do you want a space to do all of this?
Join my upcoming support group: SAFE, Together.

For 11 weeks, we will meet together as a group as we read through my book SAFE. During our sessions there will be time to process, practice, and ask questions.

We start on Tuesday, February, 24th at 5:30pm ET.

You can click the link in my bio to enroll now.

I hope to see you there!

What if the biggest romantic gestures look less like love bombing and more like consistency, availability, emotional ste...
02/17/2026

What if the biggest romantic gestures look less like love bombing and more like consistency, availability, emotional steadiness, and a nervous system that didn’t spike every time they text you?

And listen, for someone with more anxiously attached patterns, that’s likely not going to feel like love at first. Intensity, for many anxiously attached people, feels more like proof of love.

It comes with a heavy dose of dopamine, anticipation, uncertainty, and familiarity.

Intermittent reinforcement is powerful, because it activates our reward pathways in the brain and creates a chemical high that feels a whole lot like chemistry, fate, and something rare.

But true safety and a secure relationship doesn’t bring that spike. Instead, it looks less dramatic and more regulated. It doesn’t sound like, “I can’t live without you,” but more like, “I’m here and not going anymore.”

And sure, at first that kind of relationship feels really unfamiliar and likely even underwhelming.

But over time, safety brings a level of intimacy that is unparalleled to what you’ve been experiencing. It’s a partner that repairs, follows through, and doesn’t activate your survival responses.

Do you want to build that?
It starts with building safety within yourself first. You can do just that with my book, SAFE. Comment the word “safe” and I’ll DM you a link to grab a copy.

Security feels boring until safety is consistent.
Then, it looks a whole lot like growing old together.

If you've been feeling more activated this week with Valentine's Day coming, it likely has more to do with your attachme...
02/13/2026

If you've been feeling more activated this week with Valentine's Day coming, it likely has more to do with your attachment wounds and implicit memories than you realize. These wounds and memories are shaped by your earliest experiences of connection and influence how we respond to relational cues long after those experiences are over.

So, when love has felt inconsistent for a long time, your brain adapts by increasing vigilance to keep you from disconnection. Your amygdala becomes attuned to subtle changes, ones others likely miss, and the autonomic nervous system prepares for loss before it even happens.

This is how your body learned to protect you.

So, when holidays come that center around being chosen, remembered, or prioritized, you can begin to activate those older maps your body adapted to.

And listen, understanding this doens't eliminate the reaction instantly, but it can change your relationship to it. Instead of wondering why you've been dysregulated or even getting frustrated with how you're feeling, you can meet these old feelings of fear of disconnection with compassion.

When you build this space for yourself, you can begin to build new patterns for your body.

And remember, no amount of roses, planned dates, or gifts changes your value and worth. You're worthy. That's it. 💜

Do you notice you’re more attracted to unavailable partners, even when you really want something healthy this time? Here...
02/04/2026

Do you notice you’re more attracted to unavailable partners, even when you really want something healthy this time?

Here are a few possible reasons why that patterns keeps showing up:

• Familiarity feels like home: Unavailable partners can mirror early attachment experiences, like caregivers who were inconsistent, distracted, or unpredictable. Your nervous system might still be trying to completely that old story by “earning” love that was out of reach before.

• Intimacy feels risky: If closeness once meant pain or engulfment, your protectors might find safety in distance. Avoidant partners keep the relationships just close enough to feel connection, but far enough to avoid full exposure.

• The chase feels exciting: The uncertainty of “will they show up?” Floods your body with dopamine, cortisol, and adrenaline, which feels like intensity, but it’s actually just your stress chemistry.

• You’re seeking proof of your worth: Sometimes, we believe love must be earned. If someone unavailable finally chooses you, it feels like redemption.

• You want to help, heal, or rescue: Empathy can blur into over-functioning. When you’re focused on fixing or soothing, it can feel like love, but it’s actually self-abandonment in disguise.

Your attachment system is just trying to find resolution the only way it knows how. By becoming more aware of your patterns, you can start to choose differently.

And I know you “know this,” but safety isn’t actually boring. It’s what healthy love feels like once your body learns that being calm isn’t actually dangerous.

Life has been interesting lately.2025 ended with an entrance.2026 arrived with excitement held in suspense.I feel more a...
02/03/2026

Life has been interesting lately.
2025 ended with an entrance.
2026 arrived with excitement held in suspense.

I feel more alive than I have in a long time.
Present with what is unfolding.
Trusting the timing.

SAFE is finding its way out into the world quietly and steadily.
And my own world has been turning in unexpected ways.

There is something new in the air.
I am excited for everything 2026 has in store.
Bring it on 😉🩵

For people moving from avoidant to secure attachment, love can feel both comforting and claustrophobic. Your nervous sys...
01/29/2026

For people moving from avoidant to secure attachment, love can feel both comforting and claustrophobic. Your nervous system either learned early on that too much closeness felt unsafe or were never offered many opportunities for true connection. Both left you feeling safer with distance.

Now, when someone tries to get close, your body may interpret it as losing control rather than being cared for. Your nervous system is trying to protect you from the very things you experienced at a young age.

When you start to work on becoming more secure, learning to let connection in slowly is important. This can look like staying when you want to leave or sharing when silence feels a bit safer.

Over time, safety can stop feeling like a trap and start feeling like home.

Does this all sound familiar? Grab a copy of my new book, SAFE, where I help you understand what's happening in your nervous system when you pull away and teach you how to build safety without losing yourself.

You can grab a copy and get some freebies at https://jessicabaumlmhc.com/safe .

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33480

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Founded by Jessica Baum LMHC in 2016, Relationship Institute of Palm Beach is deeply committed to helping people move from a state of loneliness and confusion to a place of safety and contentment with hope for the future. Whether you are in a relationship or single, struggling with dependency or trauma, in order to move forward, cultivating a deeper understanding of your own self is paramount. In doing deeper core work—and understanding why we find ourselves stuck in patterns and situations—we are able to form healthier relationships with ourselves and consequently, have healthier relationships with others. The core of most mental health issues centers around getting to know your truth, understanding how and why you are where you are, and then creating awareness and a deeper understanding around it. Once you connect with yourself—and only then—can you start to develop healthier relationships with yourself and those around you.