Conscious Relationship Group

Conscious Relationship Group Concious Relationship Group offers individual & couples coaching and online courses for building, healthy conscious relationships.
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Order Jessica's new book, SAFE, and get free powerful gifts to support your journey at jessicabaumlmhc.com/safe Founded by Jessica Baum LMHC in 2017, Be Self-full is a team of highly skilled psychotherapists who help individuals with relationship issues. We are deeply committed to helping people move from a state of loneliness and confusion to a place of safety and contentment with hope for the fu

ture. Whether you are in a relationship or single, struggling with dependency or trauma, in order to move forward, cultivating a deeper understanding of your own self is paramount. In doing deeper core work—and understanding why we find ourselves stuck in patterns and situations—we are able to form healthier relationships with ourselves and consequently, have healthier relationships with others. The core of most mental health issues centers around getting to know your truth, understanding how and why you are where you are, and then creating awareness and a deeper understanding around it. Once you connect with yourself—and only then—can you start to develop healthier relationships with yourself and those around you.

If you're more anxiously attached, this distinction can be hard to see in the moment, because initially any distance can...
04/20/2026

If you're more anxiously attached, this distinction can be hard to see in the moment, because initially any distance can feel like abandonment. But, not all space is the same.

Healthy space is regulating, because it comes when someone needs time to process their emotions, cool down, or think through something before they can engage productively.

On the other end, stonewalling is when someone shuts down communication as a way to avoid conflict, control the dynamic, or make you feel the impact of their withdrawal. They aren't trying to regulate, but trying to gain power and control.

The key difference here is in their clarity, reassurance, and follow-through.

Someone who needs healthy space will tell you what's happening to the best of their ability. They will try to give you an approximate timeline and reassure you that the space isn't about the relationship ending. They will come back when they said they would and be willing to repair the disconnection.

Someone who's stonewalling you will disappear without explanation, not tell you when (or if) they'll reengage, won't reassure you, and when (if) they do come back, they'll act as if nothing happened.

You're allowed to call that out and say something like, " I want to respect your need for space, but I also need some reassurance that you're coming back. Can we figure out a way to do both?"

If they're willing to work with you on that, then there's room for growth. But if they shut that conversation down or say you're asking for too much, then try your best to take that information in as data on them, not your worth.

You deserve honest conversations, boundaries that serve both of you, and someone who will work with you through finding the middle ground.

Self-abandonment happens quieter than you likely think. It happens in the pause before you say how you really feel, sayi...
04/16/2026

Self-abandonment happens quieter than you likely think. It happens in the pause before you say how you really feel, saying "it's fine" when you know it's not, and adjusting yourself to keep the peace.

And you probably don't even realize when it's happening.

It's not because you don't want to notice, but because your nervous system is doing exactly what it learned to do: Protect the relationship at all costs, even yourself.

Your body stopped asking, "Does this feel right to me," a long time ago. Now, it simply asks, "How do I keep this relationship from going away?" This is self-abandonment.

Again, you're not consciously choosing this, but acting on a survival strategy built a long time ago (read my last posts if you want to learn more).

And this is what makes it so hard to change, because choosing yourself in those moments is going to feel like a risk, a big loss, or like you might lose the relationship completely.

Don't start with the big shifts just yet. Instead, focus on building awareness. Try catching yourself in the act of self-abandonment. You might feel it in your hesitation or override. Notice the moment you pause and see what's happening.

The more you notice, the more choices you have, and the more you choose yourself, the less you'll abandon yourself to stay connected.

Let's just name this for exactly what it is: grief. There is so much grief for the version of you who learned to silence...
04/15/2026

Let's just name this for exactly what it is: grief. There is so much grief for the version of you who learned to silence yourself, shrink yourself, and override your own needs just to stay connected to your caregivers.

There are a lot of feelings mixed in there, including sadness, anger, confusion, and likely even shame. You probably wonder how you've never noticed this before. Even worse, you probably wonder why you allowed it for so long.

Let's talk about the nervous system for a minute, though. Your anxious attachment wasn't a conscious choice you made for yourself. It's patterns your body learned over time to adapt to your environment growing up.

If you are anxiously attached, you likely grew up in an environment where connection felt uncertain, inconsistent, or even at risk. So, you learned to scan for shifts, prioritize moments of closeness, and maintain your bond even if it meant leaving yourself. You learned how to survive.

And now that you know differently, you can start to choose differently. But, you're asking your body to do something completely new, like saying no, taking up space, and risking disconnection in order to stay connected to yourself.

Of course that feels scary and uncomfortable.

The best news is, the more you do it, with compassion for yourself, the more your body will learn that it doesn't have to abandon itself to stay in a relationship.

It's worth it. I promise.

At the time, all of this made sense. Of course you gave your all, put your needs aside, and held yourself responsible fo...
04/13/2026

At the time, all of this made sense. Of course you gave your all, put your needs aside, and held yourself responsible for everyone else. These patterns didn't start as an adult.

No, it started in your childhood home when you felt like connection with your caregivers was uncertain. Your nervous system had to adapt.

So, you learned to say yes when you wanted to say no, stay quiet so you didn't risk disconnection, and prioritize their needs over your own so you could stay close.

Over time, these responses looked like being the "easy one," being patient, being understanding, and being the one who always keeps things together. These looked like "good" qualities, so they were praised and reinforced.

Your caregivers appreciated them, your relationships continue because of them, and you are able to stay connected because of them, but it comes at a great cost to yourself.

Internally, underneath all of it, there's a pattern of self-abandonment you might not even feel anymore.

Be compassionate with yourself here. Again, you didn't make it this way, you adapted this way. As you start to become aware of this pattern, you can learn that you don't have to earn consistency, shrink to be chosen, or give yourself up for relationships.

Healing your anxious attachment and becoming more secure doesn't make you a different person, but it helps you stay connected to yourself while being in a relationship with others.

If you're anxiously attached, your nervous system isn't only reacting to the present moment, but also to the patterns it...
04/09/2026

If you're anxiously attached, your nervous system isn't only reacting to the present moment, but also to the patterns it learned early on, like inconsistent attention, emotional unpredictability, and having to read the room to feel safe.

Those experiences have wired your nervous system to associate uncertainty with connection in relationships.

So, when someone is hot and cold, distant, and hard to read, your brain doesn't see it as a red flag, but as something familiar. It feels like "home." And this is often what makes it feel like real chemistry.

And then there's the added effects of your actual body chemicals, like the dopamine you get from an inconsistent relationship.

You learned that relationships are something you have to work hard for, monitor constantly, and hold on to as tightly as possible.

Healthy relationships, however, take out that sense of urgency, making them feel slower, quieter, and even unfamiliar at first. Which, for many people, makes them think the relationship isn't going anywhere.

The reality is, the relationships you feel like you're constantly chasing aren't the ones you want. You deserve a relationship where you constantly feel chosen.

It's hard to sit in the moment when you realize everything you tolerated wasn't actually normal. Not even because of the...
04/08/2026

It's hard to sit in the moment when you realize everything you tolerated wasn't actually normal. Not even because of the relationship, but in seeing with new eyes how much you adjusted, explained away, and learned to live with just to stay connected to them.

Please remember that you didn't do it all because you didn't know better, but because your nervous system was doing everything it could to protect that relationship. That's what it learned to do years ago, even if it meant abandoning yourself and tolerating more than you ever should.

When you're insecurely attached (anxious, avoidant, or disorganized), your brain adapts differently to relationships/attachments. It prioritizes maintaining the relationship over almost anything else (because connection is a biological imperative).

And when you look back at relationships you thought "weren't that bad" with new eyes, you'll likely see moments you'd never accept now.

Or maybe you're seeing it all now for the very first time. Deep breaths.

There is so much grief, confusion, and likely a good bit of frustration in this awareness.

But, with that awareness, you're able to make real changes to get what you actually need, like consistency, clarity, and emotional safety. And you really are deserving of those things in a relationship, even if you don't believe it yet.

Your nervous system was doing exactly what it was supposed to. Your brain learned a long time ago to prioritize keeping ...
04/07/2026

Your nervous system was doing exactly what it was supposed to. Your brain learned a long time ago to prioritize keeping a relationship over questioning it, especially when it felt uncertain.

You didn't ask, "Does this relationship feel good for me?" No, you learned to ask, "How do I keep this from going away?" Even if the relationship was a walking red flag (and everyone was telling you).

This is how you adapted, because your body is wired for connection. So, when a relationship feels inconsistent, your nervous system goes into survival mode and becomes more attentive, accommodating, and willing to stay just to maintain closeness.

Now that you're healing and becoming more aware, you're noticing where you tolerated things that you wouldn't now. But remember, at the time, connection felt more important than comfort.

Try your best not to judge yourself back then. Instead, move forward in teaching your body something new.

You don't have to abandon yourself to stay connected in healthy, safe relationships. And you deserve that kind of relationship.

This all probably feels so much harder than you thought it would be. Honestly, it probably means you're on the right tra...
04/06/2026

This all probably feels so much harder than you thought it would be. Honestly, it probably means you're on the right track, even though it doesn't feel like it. The "wrongness" often comes from doing something different than what your nervous system is used to.

For a long time, your body learned that when something felt uncertain in your relationship, you had to reach out, fix it, get reassurance, and close the gap as fast as possible.

So now when you don't immediately jump to do those things, your nervous system feels activated instead of relieved.

And that can feel incredibly confusing. But what's actually happening is that you're interrupting a pattern your body has relied on for years.

And interrupting that pattern takes repetition, support from safe people, and learning how to stay with yourself in moments that used to cause you to abandon yourself.

If you're here now, healing the best you can by breaking patterns you never actually chose for yourself, you're doing real, hard work. Be patient with yourself, your whole body, as you teach it something new.

Listen, this is way easier said than done. I get that completely. You have to get your entire nervous system on board wi...
04/04/2026

Listen, this is way easier said than done. I get that completely. You have to get your entire nervous system on board with the experience, because when you don't reach out, try to fix it, or attempt to pull them closer, your body is going to feel like something is wrong.

Your chest might tighten, your thoughts will likely spiral, and you might feel the urge to act right this second to just feel some relief.

This is your body reacting to something that's completely unfamiliar to you. You're used to taking action to feel safe again. And please hear that I don't want you to ignore yourself and your feelings in this. No, you need to support yourself through the moment instead of abandoning yourself to try to fix it.

How?

You can try naming what's happening, like "I'm feeling anxious."

You can do something grounding, like go for a walk, take a shower, go outside, or work on slowing your breathing.

You can just delay the reaction, if just a little. Something like, "If I still want to reach out in an hour, I can."

You can try to check in with the actual story by asking what you actually know vs. what you might be assuming.

And you can remind yourself that you're still safe, even if it feels uncomfortable.

Eventually, as you work through this, you'll create space between how/what you feel and how you respond. And it's in this space that you can build new patterns over time.

And when you build new patterns, you can choose new relationships.

What if it's just been the pattern all along? Listen, if you're anxiously attached, this might be hard to hear, but some...
04/03/2026

What if it's just been the pattern all along? Listen, if you're anxiously attached, this might be hard to hear, but sometimes it's more about the patterns than the actual person.

I'm talking about their unpredictable behaviors, the highs and lows, and the moments of connection that feel just out of reach (but for sure happened in the beginning). This is what your nervous system is responding to, because these patterns are so familiar to you.

Sure, you've likely dated this pattern a few times, but it's likely what you saw super early on, too. You always felt like you had to earn your caregivers' love, understood that attention comes and goes, and feeling connected isn't always consistent.

Now, as an adult, when someone has these same patterns, you're locked in. Yes, you might be interested in the person, but there is always a part of you that's hoping you'll finally get it right. You'll finally be chosen. The relationship will finally work.

But the actual shift that needs to happen is understanding that a healthy relationship doesn't actually require you to chase after someone, love isn't built on inconsistency, and you don't have to earn someone's presence to keep it.

You shouldn't have to be the one doing all of the work. You deserve to be chosen and cared for.

Here's the thing about being anxiously attached... You know emotionally unavailable people aren't great for you, AND you...
04/02/2026

Here's the thing about being anxiously attached... You know emotionally unavailable people aren't great for you, AND your nervous system sees them as familiar, and therefore, safe (even though they aren't).

So, when someone is hot and cold, a bit distant, and just vulnerable enough to keep you invested, it doesn't really feel like a red flag. It honestly feels more familiar, meaningful, and like there is a ton of chemistry.

Why? When you grow up with having to read a room, wait for attention, and earn closeness instead of receiving it freely, you now see someone who gives you breadcrumbs as "the one." It carries the same patterns that you've always known.

And then when someone is actually consistent, calm, and available, you feel overwhelmed, bored, or somewhere in the middle. They don't feel familiar, and they definitely don't give you anxiety, so what's the real deal?

But it really has nothing to do with them and everything to do with how your body relates to the different kinds of people. Your body isn't used to peace, calm, and ease. It only knows how to seek attention and give your all.

Ready to learn how to help your nervous system build more safety so you can start building relationships based on reality instead of potential?

Follow me at . I'm a therapist, coach, and author of Anxiously Attached and Safe.

Are you thinking, "What if they think I'm not over them?" because you blocked them? Let me ask you a tough question: Why...
03/30/2026

Are you thinking, "What if they think I'm not over them?" because you blocked them? Let me ask you a tough question: Why does their opinion of your healing process matter more than your actual healing?

When you block them, you're not sending a message to them but setting a boundary for yourself.

And the hardest part isn't even hitting the "block" button, but the days after when you catch yourself wanting to check. You start to wonder what they're posting or trying to send you. Suddenly, you get the urge to unblock them "just to see" and then attempt to block them again.

That urge is your nervous system in withdrawal. It's been so conditioned to seek information about them through scanning for signs, monitoring their life, and looking for proof that you still matter or they've moved on.

When you start to feel uncomfortable, remind yourself that you didn't make the wrong choice, but you're literally breaking the addiction to them. It truly does get easier with time.

Here are some things that can help:

• When you get the urge to unblock them, do something else that regulates your nervous system instead, like going for a walk, texting a friend, or putting your hands in cold water.

• Remind yourself that you're not missing out on closure, because closure comes from YOU, not them.

• Let yourself grief what you're letting go of. You're experiencing a real loss, and it's okay to feel sad about it.

• Take time to celebrate the small wins, like a full day or week of not checking in on them.

And if you end up unblocking them, just hit the button again and keep going. Keep choosing yourself. The block button is a tool that can help you heal. It's okay to use it.

Address

256 Worth Avenue Ste 310
Palm Beach, FL
33480

Opening Hours

Monday 9am - 7pm
Tuesday 9am - 7pm
Wednesday 9am - 7pm
Thursday 9am - 7pm
Friday 9am - 7pm

Telephone

+15613762689

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Founded by Jessica Baum LMHC in 2016, Relationship Institute of Palm Beach is deeply committed to helping people move from a state of loneliness and confusion to a place of safety and contentment with hope for the future. Whether you are in a relationship or single, struggling with dependency or trauma, in order to move forward, cultivating a deeper understanding of your own self is paramount. In doing deeper core work—and understanding why we find ourselves stuck in patterns and situations—we are able to form healthier relationships with ourselves and consequently, have healthier relationships with others. The core of most mental health issues centers around getting to know your truth, understanding how and why you are where you are, and then creating awareness and a deeper understanding around it. Once you connect with yourself—and only then—can you start to develop healthier relationships with yourself and those around you.