Conscious Relationship Group

Conscious Relationship Group Concious Relationship Group offers individual & couples coaching and online courses for building, healthy conscious relationships.

Order Jessica's new book, SAFE, and get free powerful gifts to support your journey at jessicabaumlmhc.com/safe Founded by Jessica Baum LMHC in 2017, Be Self-full is a team of highly skilled psychotherapists who help individuals with relationship issues. We are deeply committed to helping people move from a state of loneliness and confusion to a place of safety and contentment with hope for the future. Whether you are in a relationship or single, struggling with dependency or trauma, in order to move forward, cultivating a deeper understanding of your own self is paramount. In doing deeper core work—and understanding why we find ourselves stuck in patterns and situations—we are able to form healthier relationships with ourselves and consequently, have healthier relationships with others. The core of most mental health issues centers around getting to know your truth, understanding how and why you are where you are, and then creating awareness and a deeper understanding around it. Once you connect with yourself—and only then—can you start to develop healthier relationships with yourself and those around you.

Anyone else feeling the magnifying glass that the holidays inevitably become? The dynamics of what already exist in a re...
12/18/2025

Anyone else feeling the magnifying glass that the holidays inevitably become? The dynamics of what already exist in a relationship suddenly can become bigger and somehow more.

For people caught in the anxious-avoidant dance, this season can bring both connection and conflict to the surface.

The anxious partner often feels the longing for closeness more deeply due to old memories of being left out, forgotten, or trying to hold a family together. It’s all brimming under the cheer they are showing.

The avoidant partner, on the other hand, may start to feel overstimulated or even pressured because they are being flooded by expectations and unspoken emotional demands that make their system crave space.

So, while one person moves toward connection to feel safe, the other moves away to find safety. And, the harder each tries to regulate, the more dysregulated the other becomes.

The hardest part of this is that neither is technically wrong (with nuance here, of course). Both partners are simply doing what their nervous system learned to do a long time ago.

So what do you do if this is you, on one side or the other? Start by pausing long enough to notice the pattern (like you’re doing now) rather than just doing the behavior.

It’s okay if this feels hard, especially right now. Your body is remembering.

If you’re the anxious partner, seek someone other than your partner to co-regulate with.

If you’re the avoidant partner, communicate clearly and frequently the space you need and reassure them about your feelings for them.

You’re both doing your best under the magnifying glass. 🧡

If you’ve ever looked at your relationship and thought, “Why am I still here if I’m not actually happy?” This might brin...
12/16/2025

If you’ve ever looked at your relationship and thought, “Why am I still here if I’m not actually happy?” This might bring some clarity…

We don’t stay in familiar relationships because they feel good all the time, but because they feel known.

Your nervous system doesn’t distinguish between healthy and unhealthy connection, but between familiar and unfamiliar.

So you might notice:

• Relief after conflict because things feel “normal” again

• Longing that intensifies during distance or silence

• Anxiety at the thought of leaving, even if staying feels flat or painful

Here’s what I need you to hear: This is how your body leaned to regulate inside this pattern.

For many people, the craving isn’t for the relationship itself, but for the regulation the pattern provides, especially during uncertainty. Which often makes the idea of leaving feel more destabilizing than staying. The known discomfort feels safer than the unknown.

Thankfully, awareness is often the first step to get out of the cycle, not necessarily toward a decision, but understanding.

Your body is doing its best to keep you safe. 🧡

You know it’s not working out, but you feel stuck. You feel like you don’t have enough clarity or strength or something ...
12/15/2025

You know it’s not working out, but you feel stuck. You feel like you don’t have enough clarity or strength or something to actually leave your relationship. But you’re not missing anything. Not really.

No, this has more to do with your nervous system than you likely think. Your nervous system is wired for connection and prefers familiar safety over uncertain freedom. Yes, even when that familiarity hurts.

Our brains bond to patterns, just like we bond to people.

These patterns are in the tone of voice, routines, conflict cycles, and moments of closeness followed by distance. Even unhealthy relationships create a sense of predictability, and predictability tells your nervous system, “I know how to survive here.”

When you leave, you’re losing a person and the future you imagined, an identity you build around the relationship, and the hope that things might actually turn out differently. That will bring up real grief, and your body feels this before your mind can even explain it.

So, if you’re stuck between staying and leaving, your nervous system is protecting you from loss, uncertainty, and pain.

What helps isn’t forcing clarity or shaming yourself into action, but building enough internal safety that the unknown no longer feels more dangerous than what you do know.

This kind of safety is learned slowly, gently, and with support. If this post resonates, my book SAFE will help you understand attachment, implicit memory, and the nervous system that keeps us stuck like this. Plus, you learn how to find your way forward. Pick up your copy everywhere books are sold. 🧡

I wanted to share this because honestly, it moved me. asked me to create a little video for my listeners, and I did it ...
12/12/2025

I wanted to share this because honestly, it moved me. asked me to create a little video for my listeners, and I did it thinking, “This is sweet… what a cool moment.”

But the my Wrapped came in, and I sat there looking at the numbers with tears in my eyes.

Anxiously Attached has been out in the world for almost four years. For years of growth, healing, heartbreak, breakthroughs, messages from readers, and the most unexpected momentum. I never imagined it would keep finding new homes, new hearts, and new people at the pace it still does. It is back ordered, sells every week, and just keeps going.

And this year, it landed:
• The top 4 percent of saved authors
• The top 2 percent of shared authors
• The top 100 globally in Parentjng and Relationships

Seeing that after all this time felt surreal. These words came from my loved experience, clinical work, and some of the most tender parts of my own story. To know they are still being listened to, shared, and offered to the people who need them means everything.

And now, with SAFE out in the world, a book that came from an even deeper and more vulnerable part of me, it feels incredibly meaningful to sense this continued connection. To know that so many of you have walked with me from one chapter of my work to the next is something I do not take for granted a single moment.

Thank you, truly, for listening, reading, and trusting me with your inner world. This will always be one of the greatest honors of my life. 🤍

Setting boundaries with family is hard for most people, especially during the holidays. Your nervous system remembers ev...
12/12/2025

Setting boundaries with family is hard for most people, especially during the holidays. Your nervous system remembers everything that the holidays once held and what your family naturally brings up within you.

Family gatherings, old environments, familiar roles, and unspoken expectations activate implicit memory, the kind of memories stored in the body instead of the mind. So, even if you’ve done a lot of healing, your window of tolerance can shrink in these settings. Your nervous system can become more sensitive, vigilant, and reactive.

For the anxiously attached, boundaries feel like risking any connection you have with your family.

For the Avoidantly attached, boundaries can feel like inviting conflict or big feelings.

For people with disorganized attachment, boundaries seem unclear because closeness and distance feel unsafe at the same time.

And, yes, eve people with a more secure attachment can experience stress that make setting boundaries more challenging.

So, when your body tightens, your energy drops, or guilt shows up after saying no, your body is giving you a cue for regulation.

It’s so important to remember that boundaries are never meant to reject or punish someone, but a way for you to honor what your body needs.

If boundaries feel impossible for you this month, start super small. Even a 1% shift can tell your body that you’re trying. This can look like showing up for the party and leaving early, bringing a safe friend to the dinner, or even stepping outside to get some air.

Be as gentle as you can with yourself this season. 🧡

Do you have a question about attachment, nervous system healing, or anything I've posted about here or within the pages ...
12/11/2025

Do you have a question about attachment, nervous system healing, or anything I've posted about here or within the pages of Anxiously Attached or SAFE? This is for you!

I'm hosting a Live Q&A on Tuesday, December 16th at 1pm ET, where we'll talk through:

• How attachment patterns show up in real relationships
• Why certain dynamics feel so activating
• What healing actually looks like
• How to move toward security and safety
• Anything you've been wrestling with while reading SAFE or Anxiously Attached

This space is meant to feel gentle, grounded, and supported. I want it to be a moment for you to exhale and sort through what's been coming up for you.

If you can't join live, register anyway! You'll still get the replay.

You can register at jessicabaumlmhc.com/live-q-and-a-dec-16th

One of the hardest parts of healing, especially for those with anxious or disorganized attachment, is learning the diffe...
12/11/2025

One of the hardest parts of healing, especially for those with anxious or disorganized attachment, is learning the difference between anxiety and intuition.

When your nervous system has lived in survival mode for years, anxiety often feels more like the truth. It speaks first, loudest, and from every unhealed moment stored in your body.

Intuition, on the other hand, is quiet and comes from a regulated place instead of activation.

Here’s the science behind it:

• Anxiety comes from your amygdala, your brain’s threat detector, firing based on old implicit memories, past hurts, and attachment wounds that were never resolved.

• Intuition, on the other hand, comes online only when your prefrontal cortex is accessible. Which means your body needs to be in a regulated state enough to access wisdom instead of protection.

This is why anxiety feels so urgent and overwhelming, and intuition feels more calm and grounded.

If you struggle to trust yourself, it’s likely because nobody taught your nervous system the difference between activation and inner knowing. However, when you learn the difference, everything changes.

Your choices, patterns, relationships, and even you all shift.

If you need some support navigating your implicit memories and attachment wounds so you can access more of your intuition, my book SAFE is a great guide to building internal safety.

You can grab your copy at https://jessicabaumlmhc.com/safe

When you realize your attraction wasn’t chemistry but your nervous system activating, it can be a little jolting. Howeve...
12/10/2025

When you realize your attraction wasn’t chemistry but your nervous system activating, it can be a little jolting. However, this realization also brings some moments of healing.

You see, your body was doing exactly what it learned to do: pairing love with activation rather than safety.

And the spark you chased is often the amygdala recognizing old emotional patterns. And the magnetism you felt were more likely your implicit memories pulling you toward what feels like home, even if it’s not healthy.

The grief and confusion you’re feeling can also be the moment your healing begins, because once you understand the difference between activation and secure connection, you can start choosing differently.

Instead of choosing from your wounds, you start choosing from your worth. 🧡

To the disorganized attachers: it’s your nervous system, not you. This can be freeing and frustrating. Especially when y...
12/04/2025

To the disorganized attachers: it’s your nervous system, not you. This can be freeing and frustrating. Especially when you push people away right as you’re getting the close connection you’ve always wanted.

Disorganized attachment develops when connection and danger become intertwined early in life. The same person you needed for comfort was also unpredictable, overwhelmed, intrusive, abusive, or neglectful.

This made your body learn two things at the same time:
• “I need closeness to feel safe.”
• “Closeness is the thing that hurts me.”

Now, as an adult, when someone gets emotionally close, your nervous system tells you to move towards them and to run away.

This internal push-pull dynamic is your body trying to protect you with an outdated blueprint from implicit memories and threat responses that were never given a chance to resolve.

The work needed is helping your body feel safe enough to choose connection and learning to tolerate it in ever growing doses.

Healing is possible. 🧡

Being emotionally flooded doesn’t always look like panic. No, sometimes it looks like over-functioning, overthinking, or...
12/03/2025

Being emotionally flooded doesn’t always look like panic. No, sometimes it looks like over-functioning, overthinking, or completely shutting down.

Emotional Flooding happens when your nervous system becomes overwhelmed and your brain shifts out of its regulated state. You lose access to clear thinking, emotional balance, and your ability to communicate effectively. Your body is responding to what feels like a threat to your safety.

For many people with anxious insecure attachment style (anxious, avoidant, or disorganized), flooding can be so familiar that it feels normal. You might not even recognize it as dysregulation. You might experience is more as urgency, responsibility, pressure, or the need to “fix” something immediately.

Here’s why it happens:

Your prefrontal cortex goes offline, which makes logic, language, and perspective-taking harder.

Then, your amygdala goes on alert, preparing your body for danger. Even if the danger is emotional, like rejection, criticism, conflict, or uncertainty.

Old attachment wounds get activated and your nervous system responds to the present through the lens of the past.

But there is a way to help your body come back to regulation. When you’re flooded, you can:

• Ask to pause the conversation

• Ground yourself in the moment by feeling your feet on the ground, looking around the room, or reaching out to someone that feels grounding

• Try to drop into your body and name what you’re feeling. Maybe you’re overwhelmed, scared, or activated.

Either way, it’s important not to shame or judge yourself for what you’re experiencing. Your nervous system is doing its job.

Thankfully, by learning the signs of flooding, you can work on the deeper things that are causing it, like your attachment patterns, core wounds, and implicit memories.

There is so much heartbreak in giving everything to a relationship only to watch it slip away. One of the most painful p...
12/02/2025

There is so much heartbreak in giving everything to a relationship only to watch it slip away.

One of the most painful parts of being anxiously attached is the way you turn inward when someone pulls away. You likely assume it’s your fault, blame yourself for caring too much, or wonder what you could have done differently to keep them.

But avoidant withdrawal doesn’t happen because you aren’t enough. No, their nervous system experiences closeness as overwhelming, unfamiliar, and even unsafe. So the distance you measured your worth by was actually a reflection of their own painful history.

It’s okay, and even highly necessary, to grieve this relationship. Your body is mourning the loss of what it hoped for, what it glimpsed in the beginning, and what it tried so hard to repair.

Healing isn’t going to remove all of the pain or force you to pretend it didn’t hurt. Instead, healing is going to help you see where you weren’t the problem. Your love wasn’t too much.

You deserve a love that meets you, not one that runs from you. 🧡

I know, I know. It can be super frustrating to find yourself in yet another anxious-avoidant cycle. But the truth is, yo...
12/01/2025

I know, I know. It can be super frustrating to find yourself in yet another anxious-avoidant cycle. But the truth is, you’re not choosing with logic, but your nervous system.

Avoidant partners feel the most familiar to you. Yes, in part to the fact that you keep dating them, but also because your body remembers the emotional environment you grew up in.

It can track the distance, inconsistency, and working hard for love and attention.

These patterns left an imprint called implicit memories, where your brain will unconsciously gravitate toward what it recognizes, even if it’s unhealthy.

And, while no one what’s to hear this, the “spark” you feel isn’t chemistry, but your nervous system activating. Oh, and your body really wants to finally finish an old story, written long ago.

But the best news is: you can write a new story. You can form new patterns. You can rewire your brain.

When you begin to heal and become more aware, you can start to learn what it’s like to be drawn to stable, present, and emotionally healthy partners instead of what’s familiar.

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Founded by Jessica Baum LMHC in 2016, Relationship Institute of Palm Beach is deeply committed to helping people move from a state of loneliness and confusion to a place of safety and contentment with hope for the future. Whether you are in a relationship or single, struggling with dependency or trauma, in order to move forward, cultivating a deeper understanding of your own self is paramount. In doing deeper core work—and understanding why we find ourselves stuck in patterns and situations—we are able to form healthier relationships with ourselves and consequently, have healthier relationships with others. The core of most mental health issues centers around getting to know your truth, understanding how and why you are where you are, and then creating awareness and a deeper understanding around it. Once you connect with yourself—and only then—can you start to develop healthier relationships with yourself and those around you.