Curiously Carnal Tarot

04/03/2026

Something is happening in the United States right now that isn’t showing up in the headlines.

It isn’t about politics.
It isn’t about parties.
It isn’t about personalities.

It’s happening in the nervous system of the nation.
In the way people are pulling inward.
In the way trust is dissolving.
In the way old identities are quietly falling apart.

This is not a breakdown.

It’s an initiation.

There is a story being told about this country right now.

It is loud.

It is theatrical.

It is engineered to keep nervous systems hooked into fear, outrage and endless distraction.

But that story is not the real one.

Beneath the headlines, beneath the politics, beneath the manufactured conflicts, a very different process is unfolding in the collective body of the United States.

This is a reading of that deeper field.
Not as opinion.
Not as ideology.
Not as prediction.

•The National Nervous System Is Exhausted

The dominant frequency in the American field right now is not anger.
It is fatigue.
A bone-deep, cellular exhaustion.
People are tired of being alert.
Tired of being manipulated.
Tired of being told what to think.
Tired of being pulled from crisis to crisis.
The collective nervous system has been in fight-or-flight for decades.
9/11.
Wars.
Economic shocks.
Pandemics.
Cultural wars.
Digital saturation.
There has been no real integration period.
No collective exhale.
So the body of the nation is showing classic trauma patterns:
• Emotional numbing
• Hyper-reactivity
• Dissociation
• Withdrawal
• Cynicism
• Apathy disguised as “not caring”
This is not weakness.
It is what happens when a system has been overstimulated for too long.

•A Fractured Identity: “Who Are We Now?”

America is in an identity crisis.
The old story—exceptionalism, certainty, moral authority, endless growth—no longer holds.
But no coherent new story has taken its place.
So the field is split.
Some are clinging desperately to the past.
Some are trying to dismantle everything.
Some are quietly disengaging.
Some are rebuilding internally.
There is no shared mirror anymore.
This creates:
• Polarization
• Projection
• Tribalism
• Moral inflation
• Enemy-making
When identity collapses, people look for something—or someone—to blame.

•Unprocessed Grief Is Everywhere

One of the most suppressed frequencies in the American field is grief.
Millions of losses have never been metabolized:
• Lives
• Livelihoods
• Relationships
• Health
• Trust
• Stability
• Futures that never arrived
There was no ritual.
No pause.
No collective mourning.
So the grief went underground.
And underground grief becomes:
• Rage
• Depression
• Addiction
• Numbness
• Compulsion
• Escapism
You see it in the rise of substances, screens, gambling, p**n, shopping, constant scrolling.
These are not “moral failures.”
They are coping mechanisms for unresolved loss.

•Control Structures Are Losing Coherence

On the surface, institutions still appear powerful.
But in the subtle field, something else is happening.
They are hollowing out.
People no longer trust:
• Media
• Government
• Corporations
• Medicine
• Education
• Religion
Not because they are “anti” everything.
Because too many contradictions have accumulated.
Too many lies.
Too many reversals.
Too many exposed incentives.
So faith in centralized authority is collapsing.
Quietly.
Individually.
Privately.
This is why you see people turning inward, decentralizing, building parallel systems, learning skills, forming micro-communities.
It’s not rebellion.
It’s instinct.

•Two Timelines Are Running Simultaneously

The United States is now operating on two energetic tracks.

Timeline One: Spectacle Consciousness
• Addicted to outrage
• Hooked into identity wars
• Consumes endless media
• Feels constantly threatened
• Lives in reaction

Timeline Two: Embodied Sovereignty
• Withdraws from noise
• Strengthens inner authority
• Builds resilience quietly
• Seeks coherence over drama
• Lives from discernment

These timelines are diverging.
They occupy the same geography.
But not the same reality.
This is why people feel like they’re living in different worlds.
They are.

•A Quiet Awakening Is Underway

Contrary to appearances, this is not a “dark age.”
It is a composting phase.
Beneath the collapse narratives, millions are:
• Questioning narratives
• Healing trauma
• Reclaiming intuition
• Leaving abusive systems
• Redefining success
• Choosing depth over status
This is happening without hashtags.
Without movements.
Without leaders.
It’s cellular.
And that makes it powerful.

The Field Is Calling for Integration, Not Revolution

The next phase is not chaos.
It is integration.
The American psyche is being asked to:
• Reconcile shadow
• Admit mistakes
• Release superiority
• Mature emotionally
• Learn humility
• Develop wisdom
This is initiation.
Not punishment.
Nations, like people, must outgrow adolescence.

•What This Means for You

If you are feeling:
• Pulled inward
• Less interested in noise
• More protective of your energy
• More selective
• More grounded
• Less reactive
You are not “checking out.”
You are checking in.
You are aligning with the emerging field.
You are becoming a stabilizing node.
These are the people who carry societies through transitions.
Not by shouting.
By holding coherence.

Final Transmission

The United States is not “falling apart.”
It is shedding an outdated identity.
Painfully.
Messily.
Imperfectly.
But purposefully.
What comes next will not be built by institutions.
It will be built by regulated nervous systems.
Clear minds.
Rooted hearts.
Sovereign spirits.
If you are doing that work in yourself—
You are doing it for the whole.✨🌎

~Intimate Oracle

04/03/2026

⚖️

When people speak of P***ephone and Hades, they often focus on how their story began but rarely on how they ruled together.

And that’s where the real power lies.

The underworld was not chaos. It was not a place of constant torment or disorder. It was one of the most structured realms in Greek mythology governed by laws, boundaries, and inevitability. Nothing entered without reason, and nothing left without consequence.

Hades ruled with absolute authority, but not cruelty. He was not a tyrant, he was a keeper of order. His role was to maintain the balance between life and death, ensuring that every soul reached its rightful place.

P***ephone, however, transformed that rule.

She was not just a passive queen placed beside him, she became a force within the underworld itself. As she moved between the world of the living and the dead, she embodied both sides of existence. Growth and decay. Light and shadow. Return and descent.

Together, they did not rule through domination.

They ruled through balance that could not be broken. Hades ensured that death was final, that the structure of the underworld remained intact. P***ephone brought duality into that structure reminding that even in death, there is rhythm, cycle, and return.

She was not soft within the underworld.
She was not the girl who was taken.

She became the queen who chose to remain, who ate the seeds, who understood that power does not always lie in escape but in what you become when you stay.

Their rule was not loud. It did not need to be.

Because no one defies death forever.
No one escapes the underworld indefinitely.

And that is what made their reign so absolute.

Not fear.
Not force.

But the quiet, unshakable truth that everything, eventually, belongs to them.

04/02/2026

Tarot is often seen as a tool for guidance, intuition, or divination but beneath the surface, it mirrors something far older: mythological archetypes that have existed for centuries.

Each card is not just a meaning, it is a story.

The Fool stepping into the unknown echoes the beginning of countless mythic journeys, where the hero leaves behind certainty to face what they cannot yet understand. The High Priestess reflects the hidden knowledge carried by figures like Hecate, standing between worlds, guarding what is unseen. The Death card is not destruction, but transformation like P***ephone descending and returning, embodying the cycle of ending and rebirth.

These are not random symbols.

They are patterns that repeat across cultures, across time, across stories.

Because mythology was never just about gods, it was about human experience.

Loss. Power. Change. Desire. Fear. Transformation.

Tarot takes these same themes and places them into a system you can interact with. Not to predict your future, but to reflect where you are within your own story.

This is why tarot can feel so accurate, so personal.

You are not being told something foreign.
You are being shown something familiar just from a different angle.

Every reading is a myth in motion.

A moment where you stand as the Fool, the seeker, the one at the edge of a decision. A moment where you face your own descent, your own transformation, your own return.

Tarot does not give you a new path.

It reveals the one you are already walking
and reminds you that every step you take has been told before, in stories far older than you just with a different name.

04/02/2026

Catharsis is not the same as integration.

In shadow work and deep emotional–somatic practice, these two are often conflated. But something essential depends on our ability to tell them apart—not in theory, but in the fire of immediate experience: in the belly, the breath, the heart, the throat.

As the lost orphans of psyche and soma surge, they do not long simply to be released through spiritual or psychological practice. They yearn for relationship—for that mysterious third space where they can be known, felt, heard, and understood.

There is a growing emphasis on expression—on releasing, purging, acting out what has been repressed. And while expression has its place, something essential is being misunderstood. Because expression alone does not reorganize the psyche.

You can intensify an emotion. You can amplify it. You can even build an identity around it. None of that guarantees transformation.

In fact, without a holding environment—without the capacity to stay present in the body—these expressions can become patterned. Familiar. Even addictive. The system learns, “This is what we do with this energy.” But it does not learn anything new.

This is why catharsis, on its own, often leads to repetition—the same anger, the same shame, the same cycles, just enacted more consciously or more dramatically.

Integration asks something much more subtle. Not: how do I express this? But: can I stay with this?

Can I feel this in the body without collapsing into it? Can I remain in relationship with it, without needing to discharge it immediately?

Can I become curious about what it carries, rather than organizing around its intensity?

Because what we are meeting is not just emotion. We are meeting history—adaptations that formed in moments where there was not enough support, not enough safety, not enough attunement.

And these parts do not need to be performed. They need to be met. Gently. Slowly. Over time.

This is not as exciting. It does not lend itself to spectacle. But it is what allows something new to emerge.

Where there was compulsion, there is now space. Where there was reactivity, there is now choice. Where there was enactment, there is now relationship.

This is the slow alchemical work—not rehearsing the pattern more vividly, but gently, over time, becoming free of the need to repeat it.

04/02/2026

We are The Fool at everliving edge.

An edge is the point where something ends, and something else begins, the frontier, the boundary, the cutting tip. To be living at that edge means consciousness isn't a static thing, a noun sitting quietly somewhere. It's a verb, perpetually happening. You are not the result of a process; you are the process, mid-stroke.

Right now, in this moment of reading, awareness is occurring at the only place it ever can: the moving boundary between what has happened and what hasn't happened yet. There is no other location for experience. The present moment is the only real estate consciousness ever occupies, and we are it, we are that thin, blazing line of self-awareness.

This is what makes the edge strange and remarkable. The universe has produced, through biological complexity, a system that can observe itself observing. Matter that knows it exists. The edge isn't just happening, it's watching itself happen. Self-awareness folds the process back on itself, creating a loop: the wave looks at the ocean and realizes it is the ocean.

This reflexive quality is what gives human experience its peculiar depth, the ability to stand slightly outside your own moment and witness it. But notice the phrase doesn't say "the seat of self-awareness" or "the product of self-awareness." We are the edge of it, implying it's still unfolding, still becoming, not yet complete.

We are the living edge whose reactions are dictated by everything that preceded it.
Here, the phrase turns humble, even humbling. That luminous edge of consciousness, so intimate, so yours, is not free-floating. It is the output of an incomprehensibly deep chain of causation. Consider what "everything that preceded it" actually encompasses:

The specific conditions of a universe, the formation of a star that produced the carbon in your cells, the collision that formed the Moon, and the stabilization of Earth's tilt enough for complex life to survive.

Hundreds of millions of years of organisms dying in ways that selected for the nervous system architecture through which you now experience the world. Your fears, your social instincts, your capacity for language, inherited from creatures that never spoke a word.

The language you think in shapes which thoughts are even available to you. The stories, myths, and assumptions of your civilization pre-loaded a framework you didn't choose.
Every experience, trauma, joy, relationship, and failure you've lived through rewires the physical structure of your brain. You react to all of that, even when you can't see it.

Your reactions arise from depths you cannot access or audit. The feeling that you are choosing, in real time, from a place of pure freedom is one of those reactions shaped by prior causes.

You are simultaneously the most immediate thing possible, this moment of awareness, happening right now, and the most historically saturated thing imaginable, a living record of everything that came before you.

The edge is ever new. The forces that shaped it are ancient.
You are both the arrow in flight and the entire history of the bow, the archer, the civilization that made archery meaningful. The present moment is where that entire accumulation arrives and, briefly and magnificently, looks around.

03/26/2026

“Ta**ra is the science of transforming ordinary lovers into soul mates. And that is the grandeur of Ta**ra. It can transform the whole earth; it can transform each couple into soul mates.”
— Osho

Celestial Yab-Yum “father-mother”
Talon Abraxas

THE MEDITATION OF TOUCH TA**RA

There is a touch that is slow, so slow.
There is a touch that is gentle, so gentle.
It comes from the heart, an energy that flows through your body into your hands so that your hands become your heart.
It comes from your breath, aligning your resonance.
It creates presence, bringing you into yourself, into stillness, into quiet.

There is an intention in this touch, love, compassion, appreciation.
The touch, the stroke, the caress becomes a meditation, for both of us.
The separation between us disappears as we melt into one.

There is no giver and receiver, a spiral of expanding energy, deepening sensation, intimacy.
We become less of a body, more of an energy.
Waves that are expressed on the connection of this moment.

The place where healing and pleasure merge, become more, release of earthly limitations into the mystery.

We are lost in this, timeless, rippling into the field of oneness.
Within our bodies is deep wisdom, a field of possibility.

Our bodies are a portal, touch, deep touch in this way takes us into an expanded state of consciousness.
Touch becomes a meditation.
Sensuality becomes an intimacy with the self, with a lover.

As with so much of sexuality and sensuality, pleasure, expressed through touch, as most people experience it, is only the beginning.

When we begin to see it as an expression of energy,
a manifestation of that which is within us, we move into an expanded state.

The energy flows through us, within us around us. It connects us, and as we allow ourselves to be drawn deeper, it merges us into one.

One with each other, one with life

~ Jonti Searll

03/16/2026

03/16/2026

Circe was one of the goddesses that I turned to to influence the Hermit card.

In Greek mythology, Circe was one of the most feared and respected witches of the ancient world. She was the daughter of Helios, the sun god, and the ocean nymph P***e, giving her a divine lineage tied to both light and the deep, mysterious waters of the earth. Circe lived alone on the island of Aeaea, a place spoken of in myth as a liminal land where magic, spirits, and transformation walked freely.

Her story is most famously told in Homer’s Odyssey. When Odysseus’ sailors arrived on her island, she welcomed them into her hall and offered them food and wine. But within the drink, she mixed powerful enchanted herbs. With a single spell and the touch of her wand, the men were transformed into swine.

In the old Greek imagination, this transformation was not random cruelty. It was symbolic. Circe’s magic revealed the animal nature already living inside those who lacked discipline or wisdom. She was a witch who exposed the truth of human instinct.

Odysseus himself was protected by the herb moly, given to him by Hermes. When Circe realized her magic could not control him, the conflict dissolved. Instead, she became his ally and lover. For a year, he remained on Aeaea, and it was Circe who taught him the dangerous path ahead, warning him of the Sirens and guiding him toward the underworld.

Circe represents one of the oldest archetypes of witchcraft, the solitary sorceress who understands herbs, spirits, and transformation. Feared by many but respected by those who understood her power, she reminds us that true magic often reveals the hidden nature of the soul rather than simply changing the world around us.

03/16/2026

Circe was one of the goddesses which I turned to to influence the Hermit card.

In Greek mythology, Circe was one of the most feared and respected witches of the ancient world. She was the daughter of Helios, the sun god, and the ocean nymph P***e, giving her a divine lineage tied to both light and the deep, mysterious waters of the earth. Circe lived alone on the island of Aeaea, a place spoken of in myth as a liminal land where magic, spirits, and transformation walked freely.

Her story is most famously told in Homer’s Odyssey. When Odysseus’ sailors arrived on her island, she welcomed them into her hall and offered them food and wine. But within the drink she mixed powerful enchanted herbs. With a single spell and the touch of her wand, the men were transformed into swine.

In the old Greek imagination this transformation was not random cruelty. It was symbolic. Circe’s magic revealed the animal nature already living inside those who lacked discipline or wisdom. She was a witch who exposed the truth of human instinct.

Odysseus himself was protected by the herb moly, given to him by Hermes. When Circe realized her magic could not control him, the conflict dissolved. Instead, she became his ally and lover. For a year he remained on Aeaea, and it was Circe who taught him the dangerous path ahead, warning him of the Sirens and guiding him toward the underworld.

Circe represents one of the oldest archetypes of witchcraft, the solitary sorceress who understands herbs, spirits, and transformation. Feared by many but respected by those who understood her power, she reminds us that true magic often reveals the hidden nature of the soul rather than simply changing the world around us.

03/15/2026

QUEEN OF SWORDS

Wisdom’s Harsh Edge

Once, when darkness shrouded the world, this darkness had a queen. This Queen offers her hand to be kissed and can form it into a fist while smiling the whole time. She is ruled astrologically as the Virgo-Libra cusp. This is the cusp of beauty and she is a vision of perfection, balance and grace. As the watery part of air, she has a dual nature: she is passive and receptive due to her watery nature, and thus takes in information, yet she is active due to her presence in the suit of swords, and therefore her realm is that of the active mind. She represents the mastery of objective which is the deepening of a centered rational mind; the quality of mind that demands objectivity, authenticity, and abandonment of pretense. As an Observer within our consciousness, she is detached from roles and assists us in reconnecting with our child-like truth. She is harsh and unforgiving, yet she desires nothing more than fairness, liberty, and willing students to whom she can pass on her knowledge. Thus she is not only a victorious battle goddess, but also a teacher. Her words of wisdom are an elixir of life for those who drink of it.

Card Description

This Queen poses with grace and dignity in front of her palace. Her only adornment is a gold tiara reminding us of her royalty. She has a sword in each hand showing her two- sidedness. A raven lands on one side, showing her willingness to engage with darkness. Her palace grounds are a Zen garden revealing her preference for order, reason and logic. A statue of Quan Yin on a quarter moon reminds us of her compassionate nature. The symbols for Virgo and Libra can be seen beside the open door. The I-Ching hexagrams for water and wind are painted on the stones. On the roof is the symbol Klira Bei, meaning Clarity. This symbolizes the clarity of understanding ourselves, other people, and events around us. Clarity has always been one of the most fundamental tendencies of the enlightened person. Use the symbol of Klira Bei when you long for clear vision, clear sky, or clear goals, or when you wish to drive away the dark clouds and enlighten yourself with deeper understanding.

Meanings & Musings

Teacher, advocate, communicator; independent, cold, cunning, wise, possessing freedom of mind and soul.

03/15/2026

Some believe guides, shamans, or facilitators hold cosmic secrets the rest of can’t access.

That’s simply not true.
We can honor those with ancestral roots, but no one gets to corner the sacred.

A real guide hands you a mirror, not a map.
The myth of the all-knowing guide just turns insight into outsourcing.