Anne Unterkoefler, LCSW

11/17/2025

11/17/2025

When a neurodivergent child reaches meltdown, it’s rarely “out of nowhere”.

There is always a build-up.

Understanding the timeline helps us respond with empathy, attunement and support — not punishment or shame.

11/17/2025

SECOND CHANCE SUNDAY - another opportunity to see our most popular posts of the past 7 days.

During a meltdown, the goal is not to 'fix' or 'stop' the behaviour.
The goal is to help the nervous system return to safety.

What we say — and how we say it — makes a profound difference.

When a child is overwhelmed, the thinking parts of the brain are offline.
They can’t reason, respond, or problem-solve yet.
They need co-regulation, not correction.

This post offers phrases you can use at each stage of the meltdown cycle — not to control the moment, but to support safety, connection, and repair.

Because when a child learns:
“I can have big feelings and still be safe with you,”
they develop emotional resilience, trust, and self-understanding.

If you found this helpful and would like a deeper breakdown of each phase (with step-by-step support strategies), you’ll find the full Timeline of a Meltdown resource via link in comments below ⬇️ or via Linktree Shop in Bio.

Save this to come back to when things feel overwhelming

11/16/2025

True emotional repair means acknowledging how your behavior impacted your partner, validating their pain, and taking responsibility without defensiveness. It means saying, “I understand why you feel that way. I want to know more. I want to do better.”
When we can hold our partner’s feelings with empathy instead of shame, we create the emotional safety that allows trust to rebuild and connection to grow stronger.

11/16/2025

The Circle Of Respect

11/02/2025

DBTSkills. Emotion Regulation Module. DBT deals with all emotions and says that no emotions are ' bad' or ' good'.

We need the whole range. Including anger.
What we usually need to learn to do is manage our anger and learn to express it appropriately.
Below is the infographic ' the Anger Volcano' which illustrates what happens when we don't have the skill to regulate anger.

DBT Emotion Regulation Skills help with this.

Visual credit : Hope Trust.

10/29/2025

DBTSkills. Walking the middle path.

10/29/2025

🌸 Why name your emotions? 🌸
When we take the time to name what we’re feeling, something powerful happens — our brain shifts from reacting to reflecting. 🧠✨

Here are 6 science-backed benefits of naming your emotions:
💪 Better emotional & physical health
💬 Stronger communication & relationships
🎯 Improved decision-making
🧩 Boosted learning & problem-solving
💫 Reduced emotional intensity
💖 Increased emotional awareness

This is the topic of this week’s newsletter!
👉 Subscribe here to receive our weekly insights on emotional intelligence: 6sec.org/eqsubscribeIG

💛 Let’s build a world where we understand ourselves — and each other — a little better every day.

10/28/2025

DBTSkills. Distress Tolerance Module. ' Radical Acceptance'.

DBT-Dialectical Behavioural Therapy. 2025.
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