Anne Unterkoefler, LCSW

02/18/2026

When your brain won’t slow down or anxiety feels like it’s running the show, grounding can help bring you back to the present moment.

This kind of sensory-based practice works because it gives the nervous system something concrete to focus on. By deliberately engaging the senses, you interrupt the brain’s threat loop and support a shift out of fight-or-flight.

Heart rate begins to settle. Muscle tension softens. The stress response eases, and attention becomes more available again.

Grounding helps your brain feel safe enough to stop chasing your thoughts. From that calmer state, executive functioning is easier to access.

This is a simple tool, but it’s a powerful one when overwhelm is high and thinking feels slippery. ❤️

02/12/2026

Meltdowns are exhausting.

They are loud. They are messy. They can feel embarrassing, frustrating and overwhelming - especially when you are already tired.

In those moments it can look like defiance. It can feel personal. It can feel like your child is pushing every limit.

But when a child is in full meltdown, their brain is in survival mode. The alarm system has switched on. The body is ready to fight, run or shut down. The thinking part of the brain is not fully online.

That is why reasoning does not work in the heat of it.
That is why lectures make it worse.
That is why shouting often escalates things.

This does not mean boundaries do not matter. They do.
It means timing matters.

When emotions are flooding a child’s body, they need regulation before they can access reflection. They need steadiness before they can learn.

A calm voice.
Clear, simple words.
Physical and emotional safety.
Time to settle.

After the storm passes, that is when the teaching sticks.

Understanding what is happening in a child’s brain does not excuse behaviour. It explains it. And when we understand it, we respond differently.

And different responses change everything.

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02/12/2026

The number one mistake parents of kids with ADHD are making.

We say ..
“He’s 16. He should wake himself up.”
“She’s 13. She should do homework on her own.”
“He’s 8. He should follow simple instructions.”

How many times a day do you think that word? Should.

How many times do you compare your child to their siblings… or their peers… and feel that knot of frustration?

And when they don’t, your brain goes here:

“They’re choosing not to.”
“They don’t care.”
“They’re being lazy.”

Yes folks I am in your house these were my thoughts as well. And these thoughts are there because no one explains to us what adhd is .

So you yell.
You punish.
Or you give up and just do it yourself because it’s easier.

And now you’re exhausted.
Frustrated.
Emotionally drained.

I see you. I coach hundreds of parents living this exact cycle.

But here’s what changes everything when parents understand that adhd is not about focus but that ADHD is an executive functioning delay.

That means while your child’s birth age may be 16… Their executive functioning age their ability to start, plan, regulate, organize, and follow through is be 3–5 years behind.

Let that land. Read that again and again because this changes everything.

You are holding a 16-year-old to 16-year-old expectations… When their executive brain may function more like 12 or 13.

That gap is where the explosions live.

Not because your child is rude.
Not because they’re defiant.
Not because they’re disrespectful.

But because no one explained to you what ADHD actually is.

So we shame.
We blame.
We push harder.

And they shut down… or push back.

Inside Bootcamp, the first thing I teach parents is this: Stop parenting birth age. Start parenting executive age. Then I show you how to close the gap.

Not by rescuing.
Not by lowering standards.
But by teaching the skills their brain isn’t developing automatically.

If you’re done living in the “he should” cycle…then you are ready to Join my 5-week ADHD Parenting Bootcamp.

You are ready to close the gap by teaching compensatory strategies because news alert that is out job and no one told us

Link is in the comments.

You don’t need to try harder.

Allison Solomon is an ADHD parent coach helping parents navigate the challenges of raising a child with ADHD. As a mother to three sons with ADHD and a spouse with ADHD, I provide strategies that work in the ADHD parenting trenches. Parents can either work with me one on one or join my 5 week ADHD Parenting group coaching Bootcamp. What you get is someone living your life, understanding your challenges, and giving you strategies that will change the road ahead for you and your ADHD child.You can find her on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdinnercircleacademy or on Instagram .

02/02/2026

01/21/2026

01/03/2026

Linking into our new series, Understanding the Developing Brain.

Emotional regulation isn’t something children suddenly learn.
It’s something their brain builds over time.

This visual shows how emotional regulation develops from infancy through adolescence — not in a straight line, but gradually, with support, setbacks, and rebuilding along the way.

Babies rely entirely on adults to regulate.
Young children borrow calm and learn language for feelings.
Older children begin to practise skills — and still wobble.
Teens may look independent, but their regulation is still developing well into adulthood.

Big emotions at any age aren’t a failure.
They’re a sign that the nervous system needs support, safety, and connection.

Save this as a reminder when things feel hard.
Share it with someone supporting children or young people.

Emotional regulation interventions, activities, and visual resources are available in the Resource Store — link in comments below ⬇️ or via Linktree Shop in Bio.

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01/02/2026

WHEN TRIGGERED, REMEMBER TO GIVE YOURSELF G.R.A.C.E.

Triggers often show up quietly and then suddenly feel overwhelming.
A tone of voice.
A delayed reply.
A look that reminds you of an old wound.
A boundary crossed.
Feeling unseen, corrected, abandoned, or misunderstood.

In these moments, the body reacts faster than the mind. What surfaces is not immaturity or over-sensitivity—it is memory. The nervous system responding to what once hurt.

This is where G.R.A.C.E. becomes a lived practice, not a concept.

G — Ground
Use this when you feel your body tightening, your breath becoming shallow, or your thoughts racing.
Grounding helps when you feel flooded—during an argument, after a harsh comment, or when your body feels on edge for “no clear reason.”

R — Recognize
Use this when self-criticism begins.
Recognize that what you’re feeling is a trigger, not the whole truth of the present moment.
This step is especially helpful in relationships—when old attachment wounds are activated.

A — Allow
Use this when you feel the urge to suppress, distract, or immediately “move on.”
Allowing is essential after emotional invalidation, conflict, or when grief or anger feels inconvenient but persistent.

C — Compassion
Use this when shame appears.
Compassion is needed when you judge yourself for reacting, crying, freezing, or needing reassurance.
It reminds you that this response was once a survival strategy.

E — Engage with choice
Use this when you are about to send a message, lash out, withdraw, or over-explain.
Engaging with choice allows you to pause and ask:
“What would feel most regulating—not most reactive—right now?”

⸻

Situations where G.R.A.C.E. is especially helpful
• During conflict with loved ones
• When you feel criticized, controlled, or dismissed
• After emotional neglect or silence
• In moments of abandonment fear or rejection
• When old family dynamics resurface
• When you feel guilty for having needs
• When your body reacts before logic can intervene

Triggers are not signs that you are “going backwards.”
They are places where healing is asking to go deeper.

Meeting these moments with G.R.A.C.E. teaches the nervous system something new:
This time, I am not alone with what I feel.

And that—slowly, gently—is how safety is re-learned.🤗🤗

01/02/2026