Dr Nahumck Psychological Services

Dr Nahumck Psychological Services Welcome to our page. I’ll be posting information and help for anyone to use, and you can also con

Summer reading. Nothing grabs you like a first chapter that titled “Making room in love for hate”
06/09/2025

Summer reading. Nothing grabs you like a first chapter that titled “Making room in love for hate”

This is the home of a friend. For the past few days the area I live and work in has been ravaged by wind, fire, and chao...
01/11/2025

This is the home of a friend. For the past few days the area I live and work in has been ravaged by wind, fire, and chaos. We are all experiencing Katrina, but from an Inferno instead of a Hurricane. I didn’t lose anything, but many I know lost everything. It’s early, it’s not over, but I think we can find our way to heal together.

In the coming days, together with the therapists I work with we’ll be putting together ongoing support groups for first responders (most of whom live in the communities they are fighting to save) and those who’ve lost everything. I’ll be referring to them as Phoenix support groups, a place to figure out how survivors want to rebuild and move forward. I don’t pretend to have answers, but myself and my fellow therapists will listen and help us find those answers together.

We can rise from this with a stronger, more connected community. I’ll keep you posted on how to participate.

Happy International Men’s Day.
11/19/2024

Happy International Men’s Day.

Mental Health Tip: If you know how you’re going to vote in November, you don’t have to pay attention anymore. You can tu...
07/23/2024

Mental Health Tip: If you know how you’re going to vote in November, you don’t have to pay attention anymore. You can tune it out. If you want to volunteer, go for it, but outside of actively participating, you don’t need to keep up with the latest shiny crazy object of the day. Keep your sanity, because you’ve already made up your mind, and there isn’t anything else that paying attention and getting upset will accomplish

Mental health tip: If you know how you’re going to vote in November, you don’t have to pay attention anymore. You can tu...
07/23/2024

Mental health tip: If you know how you’re going to vote in November, you don’t have to pay attention anymore. You can tune it out. If you want to volunteer, go for it, but outside of actively participating, you don’t need to keep up with the latest shiny crazy object of the day. Keep your sanity, because you’ve already made up your mind, and there isn’t anything else that paying attention and getting upset will accomplish

11/22/2023
Who is Your Real Competition?Often we go through life and feel like we are competing against others. To a degree, it’s t...
11/09/2023

Who is Your Real Competition?

Often we go through life and feel like we are competing against others. To a degree, it’s true. Status and hierarchy are deep in our DNA. Some elements of life are very much against others, with real winners. But… 1/6

When it comes to your life competition against others is a fools errand. Beating someone at their game requires you play THEIR game. You don’t set the parameters. You do set the win conditions. 2/6

And there is a world of difference between wanting to “Be Like Mike” and trying to be better than Mike. Only Mike can beat Mike at being Mike. Second best is a pale imitation of someone else, which means you and the world are missing out on YOU at your best. 3/6

The only competition worth engaging is self improvement. The only person you need to beat is the person you were yesterday. Ethan Suplee turned me on to the Kill Your Clone concept. You don’t have to be anything more than a fraction of better than yesterday. But that’s enough 4/6

Purpose here matters too. The person you are becoming, slowly grinding away at, needs to align with that purpose. Better is always contextual. Better at what? Better in what way? Better how? Better towards what end? 5/6

What have you done today to Kill Your Clone? What have you done to improve in the way that matters to you, that grinds towards the best version of you, the only YOU the world and your world will get? There’s still time today, so don’t wait. Go. 6/6

We are told to follow our passion, but for many men, this isn’t a good thing to do. Passion can take one down a road tha...
11/03/2023

We are told to follow our passion, but for many men, this isn’t a good thing to do. Passion can take one down a road that feels good in the moment, but may ultimately lead to ruin. Passion fades. Purpose offers a different life.

Where passions fade, purpose allows us to grind towards the goal. Passion falters when it becomes tough, but purpose allows us to endure. Put another way: “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.” ― Nietzsche.

With purpose, the difficulty that is the obstacle becomes proof of progress, a sign of confirmation instead of decreasing one’s passion. Passion is about enjoyment. Purpose is about meaning. Your purpose matters.

Purpose is enough to allow us to become our best selves. Your purpose is unique to you, and will not and cannot look like anyone else’s. And it is of vital importance to your world. If you don’t live out your purpose NO ONE will.

What are you waiting for?

Confident vs cockyConfidence is important to being a man. But confidence is often elusive. Many times we become confiden...
11/03/2023

Confident vs cocky

Confidence is important to being a man. But confidence is often elusive. Many times we become confident about something after we’ve done it. Because of this we often feel we need to fake it. This then leads to being cocky.

Cockiness is really a desire to be confident and leaning on others to reassure you (sometimes coercively) that you should be confident. Cockiness tends to push people way, and leads to a hollow false bravado.

A confident masculinity leans into the unknown, and is honest about the uncertainties. It’s balanced with accepting responsibility for the outcome and understanding the work involved.

Cockiness tries to deflect responsibility in order to protect the man’s ego. It’s never their fault, and things would work out fine if only they had been fully in charge (which they refuse to be).

Confidence is often quiet and contained. It’s internal and self-directed. It doesn’t need to be bolstered by others and is an honest self-assessment. And it’s hard. But in the long term, it’s better than being cocky.

“It’s important for a man to matter to the world.”  This is a statement that many if not most men and boys have internal...
11/01/2023

“It’s important for a man to matter to the world.” This is a statement that many if not most men and boys have internalized. Why compete for status and money if it doesn’t matter? But there is a major difference between the world and your world.

The world is a large place of at least 7 billion people. Mattering to them is a fool’s errand. Even if you’re one in a million there are 7000 people just like you. Outside of massive impacts that likely will hurt more than help, the world doesn’t care about any individual.

But… YOUR world is a place you can have impact. Your world is a place where you have value. If I die tomorrow, THE world doesn’t notice, or care, or stop. MY world, the close relationships and family and patients and colleagues will come undone.

It’s not because I’m special (I’m not) or because I’m better than anyone (I’m not). It’s because im deeply connected and vital to the people around me. Like they are to me. I don’t matter to THE world, and rightly so.

But I matter the MY world, as you do. This is where men and boys are needed. Showing up as positive, vital forces in THEIR worlds. This month I’ll be focusing on the topic of men and boys and how we can be VITAL for OUR individual worlds.

If you are interested, stick around and we can explore how you can lean in, stand up, and show up for YOUR world to be a vital, undeniable force for good to those who matter to you.

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150 W Sierra Madre Boulevard
Pasadena, CA
91024

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