Naj Alikhan, LMFT

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04/10/2026

The avoidant avoids vulnerability and authenticity by keeping it easy and light. No future plans, no real commitment, no moving into deeper intimacy over time.

The anxious partner does the same thing by acting like it doesn’t hurt. By acting like they don’t need those things too. By abandoning themselves and their needs.

Both people secretly long for it. Trust me it’s true. I’ve worked with hundreds of avoidants who want what you want and are eager to connect on a deeper level. They just kinda suck at it.

They will never change if people keep letting them get away with it. I know because that’s how I changed.

04/03/2026

Comment or DM me the word “attachment” for a short. Ideo explaining the three tools that helped me overcome and will help you too

One foot out the door feels like safety. But kicking the “commitment can” down the proverbial road will eventually lead to a life of failed relationships. And you’ll still have to do the work either way.

I work with people of all ages and backgrounds. However the older ones, especially the older males, all have the same thought, “I wish I had done this sooner”.

That doesn’t have to be you too. Comment or DM the word “attachment” and let’s get started

Are you as good a listener as you think you are? Can you really hold space for your avoidant as they tell you all the wo...
03/31/2026

Are you as good a listener as you think you are? Can you really hold space for your avoidant as they tell you all the worries, fears, and doubts they have?

Chances are, you cannot. And it’s the biggest reason your avoidant partner keeps one foot out the door.

Not just because you can’t hear their difficult truths but because you demand they do it for you.

This dynamic is common and is one of the biggest reasons the avoidant mind is looking for an exit. For freedom.

To retreat towards someone else who promises a relationship without conflict. Even if that “clarity” is a complete fantasy. In the moment, it feels like anything would be better than this.

Of course, they need to stay and listen, and learn to coregulate. But that’s a two way street that anxious partners often forget about

03/30/2026

Having the right partner matters when you have an style. If you are making an effort and putting in the work, it doesn’t automatically mean that your partner will respond the way you need them to.

But with someone who understands that you are healing and working hard to retrain your nervous system, healing is possible.

03/26/2026

Comment or DM me the word “attachment” for a video explaining how I overcame avoidant attachment style and how I have help people do the same for years.

So the answer is of course yes, yes you can overcome an avoidant attachment style but you need the right tools, the right approach, and the right support.

Comment or DM me the word “attachment” if you want to know more.

03/13/2026

Comment or DM me the word “attachment” if you are an and this sounds like you and you want to know how to heal.

It takes work. Intentional, focussed effort to build a relationship with joy so that you can feel it when you should. I teach people with an how to reconnect to their emotional life so they never have to miss out ever again.

Comment or DM me the word “attachment” to learn more

03/12/2026

Follow for more deep dives into the anxious-avoidant dynamic

Everyone, regardless of can be guilty of invalidation and undermining safety in their relationship.

My hot take, and you’re not going to like this, is that partners are often worse at it. In part because the have less practice. Their partners never ask for validation and when they finally try, it often doesn’t go well. In part because the couple has no practice.

This leads to avoidant to assume that they shouldn’t open up ever again.

A lot of my work is to remind to try again and to keep trying because their partners aren’t perfect and might not get it right on the rare occasion you choose to show a little vulnerability

03/11/2026

Comment or DM me the word “YouTube” for access to the full length video explaining how to create the environment for healing that you both long for

03/09/2026

Historically I have always had a balance of anxious attachers and avoidant attachers. But this year has been different. Avoidants have always been thought of as resistant to therapy and accountability. I was told not to bet on them. I was told that they will never willingly try to heal. And yet here we are. 2026, the year avoidants start to heal!


#2026

03/06/2026

Helping your avoidant partner heal is a choice. You don’t have to do that work. But if you choose to, you must do your part to create emotional safety for them, the way they define it.


03/02/2026

Would you all appreciate a deep dive guide on how to access authenticity during the early stages of a relationship and throughout your life? It’s truly been a life changing experience for me

02/27/2026

Shout out . I always walk away from a yoga class dripping wet and with a few insights about my life and what’s working and not working. Here’s the one from today.

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Pasadena, CA
91101

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+18056268906

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