04/10/2026
The avoidant avoids vulnerability and authenticity by keeping it easy and light. No future plans, no real commitment, no moving into deeper intimacy over time.
The anxious partner does the same thing by acting like it doesn’t hurt. By acting like they don’t need those things too. By abandoning themselves and their needs.
Both people secretly long for it. Trust me it’s true. I’ve worked with hundreds of avoidants who want what you want and are eager to connect on a deeper level. They just kinda suck at it.
They will never change if people keep letting them get away with it. I know because that’s how I changed.