03/30/2026
March 30, 2008 holds its place as the worst day of my life and started a week that felt too cruel and foreign for my heart and brain to full comprehend. When I think of God given strength that had NOTHING to do with my capacity, I think of this week where I lost you, dealt with your birthday, and memorialized you in one week and each moment three days apart from the other. I was 27 years old and my soul couldn’t conceive how the rest of my life and all things yet to come were suppose to occur without you…..18 years later my soul still struggles that I have lived, laughed, and loved while continuing to ache in the loss of your physicality.
We were not just a mother/daughter duo. My mother was my first soulmate. I was a child, teen, young woman whose favorite place in the world was beside my Mother. I literally use to lay in her bed as she went through her dressing routine and would ask God “how did He make my Mom with her flawless skin, her beauty, her wisdom, her class and He was so kind to give her to ME!!!” The beautiful part is as I grew up, sometimes my Mom would watch over me as I slept and would have to apologize for startling me (even up to me being grown and visiting my parent’s house.) She would say,”I’m sorry Mommy to scare you but I just need to take all of you in and marvel over what God blessed me with because I get to be your Mom.” I think God had My Mom and I soak each other up in all our senses, because our journey together in this life would be way too short for such a good thing!
The hardest part of these 18 years STILL is knowing there are people who know me and only know My Mom as my most treasured memory. But as long as I have life and breath on this side of Heaven, the world will know My Mom was HERE and you missed out on connection of one of the FINEST souls and beings of humanity. I strive, in how I carry her in my honor and character, that the world continues to be touch by some semblance of her❣️
I love you and miss you with every fiber of my being and every molecule of my heart. Thank you in ALL the ways you answered my broken heart and desperate pleas on March 30th, 2008 that you would still make your presence known FOREVER❣️