Lauren Auer LCPC

11/12/2025

The audacity of my brain to keep ruminating when I literally teach people how to stop doing this.

I spend my days explaining how creative stuff interrupts those repetitive thought loops. How it shifts your nervous system, lowers cortisol, all of it. And I mean it when I say it. I can explain how making something with your hands shifts your nervous system out of threat response.

Then I pick up some art supplies and my brain’s like “but remember that thing from Tuesday? Let’s think about it seventeen more times.”

But it still helps, even when it doesn’t completely stop the thoughts. My brain might be replaying that conversation, but at least my hands are busy. At least there’s color happening. At least I’m not just sitting there letting it loop.

You don’t have to be good at redirecting your thoughts for it to count. Sometimes the win is just noticing you’re doing it again and deciding to paint anyway.

So yeah, I still negatively ruminate. And I still recommend creative activities to manage it. Both things are true. Do as I say AND as I do, apparently.

11/11/2025

I’ve watched clients spiral over short text responses, delayed replies, someone’s tone in a meeting. They’re convinced they’ve done something wrong. Usually they haven’t. But their nervous system is just doing what it learned to do, which is to stay alert, stay ready, and don’t miss the warning signs.

There’s research behind this particular kind of exhausting. Dr. Stephen Porges’ work on the autonomic nervous system shows when you grow up having to constantly monitor others’ emotional states just to feel safe, your ventral vagal system (the part responsible for social engagement) gets wired differently. You become extraordinary at reading subtle shifts in tone, facial expressions, those tiny micro-movements most people miss entirely.

That same system doesn’t know how to recalibrate, though. It keeps scanning for threats even when you’re actually safe now. Studies on adverse childhood experiences show that kids who had to predict adult moods to survive carry that hypervigilance straight into adulthood. Their nervous systems can’t tell the difference between real danger and the normal interpersonal static that just exists between people.

Your hypervigilance isn’t a character flaw. It’s evidence of how hard you worked to stay safe.

11/10/2025

Many of us have been taught that anger makes you difficult or unreasonable or too much. These messages have often covertly and overly been nailed into us for most of our lives.
The anger isn’t actually the problem. Anger is an emotion that you don’t get to choose. It’s automatic and it’s actually really wise information that can lead you towards healing.

Sometimes it’s your body just saying something isn’t right ,pointing you to a boundary that’s getting stepped over, a conversation that needs to be had, or signaling you to treatment that doesn’t match your worth.

When we think about anger I think people often think of the actions that can be associated with anger, but the emotion itself is just a signal. It’s quiet. It’s clear and it’s wise information if you let yourself listen to it.

11/06/2025

Last week I had back-to-back client sessions while fighting off a migraine. My body was screaming at me to stop, but someone was already in my waiting room counting on me to show up. I had to p*e, hadn’t eaten more than a granola bar that day and that was five hours ago.

I ended up taking three minutes in my office before the next session (after a bathroom break). Sat in my chair, put my hand on my chest, and said out loud, “This is really hard right now. You’re doing your best.”

It didn’t fix the migraine. But something in my body relaxed enough to get through the rest of the day without completely falling apart.

There’s this idea that self-compassion is indulgent or soft. But in my experience, it’s actually the most practical tool we have when we can’t stop but desperately need to.

The repair doesn’t always come from resting. Sometimes it comes from how we speak to ourselves while we’re still in motion.

11/06/2025

Something I see all the time is people who’ve done the hard work of healing, who are finally starting to feel good again. And they don’t trust it.

Someone loves you well and you wait for the other shoe to drop. You laugh and part of you is already bracing for the crash. Your nervous system learned that good things don’t last, that safety is temporary, that joy is just the setup for disappointment.

Learning to let good things land, to let them be real without waiting for them to turn, that’s part of healing too. It feels uncomfortable at first. But your body will catch up.

The more you practice letting good things stay, the more your nervous system learns this is allowed now. This gets to be real.

11/04/2025

The person says something that feels like an insult wrapped in concern or a criticism disguise as a joke and you’re left standing there wondering if you’re overreacting, or if you imagined it.

Try this.

It’s not really about confrontation. It’s more about refusing to be complicit in your own diminishment

A simple technique that can make a big difference.

11/03/2025

I had a huge wake-up call last week that sent me down a research rabbit hole. For years, I’ve been handing out resource lists, thinking that was enough. I was wrong. The problem isn’t that people don’t know where food pantries are. It’s that getting to them can be traumatizing. What I learned about the barriers people actually face might change how you think about helping. Read and share if it resonates.

What Working With Food-Insecure Clients Taught Me About How We Help. And How We Can Do Better

10/29/2025

Are you actually ready to have that conversation? Or are you just rehearsed?

There is a huge difference. One protects you, while the other sets you up for potential disappointment and hurt.

I see people agonizing over this all the time without stopping to get really clear with themselves about what they actually have within their control and what they don’t.

10/27/2025

You know therapy is working when you’ve been promoted to inner dialogue.

It’s the therapist equivalent of being promoted to first class.

10/22/2025

… you get what I’m saying… anyway…

10/22/2025

Soft language signals uncertainty. It tells people your boundary is flexible, that it’s open for negotiation. When you apologize, hedge, or over-explain, you undermine your own authority.

Firm language communicates clarity and self-respect. It removes ambiguity. There’s no room for someone to argue, convince, or guilt you into changing your mind.

Your boundaries protect your time, energy, and well-being. They’re not suggestions. They’re requirements.

10/21/2025

The thing about hyper independence is that it often masquerades as strength.

We wear it like a badge of honor, pride ourselves on never needing anyone. But beneath that carefully constructed armor lies a young part of us that learned too early to stop reaching out.

That independence, while valuable, was never meant to be our only way of moving through the world.Maybe today we can practice letting that second skin soften, just a little.