On Point Practice

12/08/2025

A lot of us, especially those holding so much in work, relationships, or leadership roles, tend to push through stress until the body forces a pause. The holidays can add an extra layer that makes that crash even more likely. Skills offer a better option, and 𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗦𝗼𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 is one of those go-to practices that can make a meaningful difference.

Self-soothing is the intentional use of your senses to settle your nervous system and return to the present moment before moving on with your next task. It’s simple, portable, and can be done in five minutes or less.

For example, you might self-soothe by noticing visually calming details like the warmth of a paint color, the texture of fabric, the way light falls in the room. Step outside and look at the sky. Listen to something grounding, whether that’s calming music or genuine quiet. Be a “joy detective” and locate something that sparks a smile on your face, even if it's fleeting.

I think of this skill as a quick bridge back to flexibility and effectiveness and when used regularly, it can reduce the likelihood of burnout.

In short: Small soothing moments → regulates your system → reduces ineffective outcomes.

For more on this skill, plus examples you can implement now, read our recent blog, "Self-Soothing: A Guide to Calming Your Nervous System in Times You Need It." www.theonpointpractice.com/blog

Inside, you’ll find a clear breakdown of how the skill works. Everyday examples and ways to personalize your practice. A customizable table you can save or print to create your own Self-Soothe "Menu".

If you’ve been needing something gentle, grounded, and immediately useful… this one’s for you.

Prefer to listen? Visit Episode 7 of The Skills Podcast: DBT Distress Tolerance Skills: “ACCEPTS” & Self-Soothing. www.youtube.com/

Give it some practice and let us know how it lands.

12/04/2025

We don’t always get a say in when emotions hit or how they effect us in the moment. For those of us wearing many hats, i.e. founder, partner, parent, creator etc... a sudden surge of emotion can feel like everything is unraveling, paired with the familiar thought: “I don’t have time for this.” But here's the thing, using skills to help us tolerate tough moments or to simply not make things worse doesn't have to be super time consuming or intensive.

That’s why I love the distress tolerance skill ACCEPTS. It’s simple, quick, and requires no props. It’s a set of tools you can reach for in any moment to help you pause, regulate, and ride the wave rather than get swept up in it.

Here’s how it works:
A — Activities … redirect your focus to something else
C — Contributing … reach out, connect, offer kindness
C — Comparisons … remember what you’ve survived before; recall the truth of impermanence
E — Emotions … shift the emotional tone with music, movement, or anything that changes the vibe
P — Pushing Away … mentally set the chaos aside for a moment
T — Thoughts … engage your mind elsewhere: a puzzle, a task, a simple challenge
S — Sensations … anchor through the body: cold water, sour candy, spice, texture

Use one. Use two. Use whatever helps.

If you’re navigating a complex life, leadership demands, or simply carrying a heavy emotional load, giving yourself a moment of relief isn’t weakness or giving up. It’s the foundation of skillfulness — a return to your agency, and a reminder that you always have a choice in how you move forward.

For practical examples and real-life scenarios where ACCEPTS helps you respond instead of react:

Read: www.theonpointpractice.com/post/how-to-apply-the-dbt-distress-tolerance-accepts-skill or visit The Skills Podcast, Episode 7. www.youtube.com/

11/06/2025

11/04/2025

It’s not uncommon for founders and leaders in the thick of it to admit that emotional regulation isn’t top of mind. For many, focusing on self regulation feels like a luxury or something to get to after the fires are put out.

But the truth is: emotional regulation is strategy. It’s a non-negotiable skill for anyone leading people. Because the way you show up doesn’t just set the tone, it has ripple effects that can directly impact your company’s well-being.

So, if you’ve been:
→ Short with your people or "losing your cool"
→ Feeling constantly “on edge”
→ Or stuck in that cycle of always putting out fires

Here's 3 regulation tips will help you pause, re-center, and respond from a more grounded place.

10/31/2025

Paced breathing: The practice of breathing at a slower pace, where our exhale is purposefully longer than our inhale, helps to slow our heart rate and calm our stress response. It’s especially useful when emotions feel intense but can be practiced at anytime.

How to do it:
Breathe in slowly for 4 seconds.
Breathe out gently for 6 seconds.
Continue for 1–2 minutes or until you notice a shift in your body and the stress coming down.

Pro tip:
You can combine paced breathing with other dbt TIPP skills (like holding cold water to your face or progressive muscle relaxation).

Want to learn more about distress tolerance skills? Check out Distress Tolerance skills on The Skills Podcast: www.youtube.com/

10/24/2025

Shout out to all the Post-it notes out there... quietly reminding us we’re capable of big things… like stopping.

The STOP skill is exactly what it sounds like: pausing before you make things worse. Simple in theory, wildly challenging in practice.

If you’re new to the STOP skill, try it when things are going well.
Pause mid-laughter, mid-sunset, mid-bite of something you love.
Notice the moment. Let yourself feel it fully and then, carry on (ideally, mindfully).

That’s how we strengthen the pause muscle, so when we need it most, we know we can call on it, in the moment.

Curious to learn more? Check out episode 5 of the skills podcast where we talk in depth about the STOP skill: www.youtube.com/

10/23/2025

Everyone has Wise Mind; the skill is learning how to recognize it and remembering to listen to it. The three states of mind is a tool we can use to help us identify when we're not in Wise Mind and then the question becomes, is there anything I can do, in this moment to help bring me closer to the synthesis of both emotion and reason.

Curious to learn more? Listen to episode 3 of the skills podcast @ https://www.youtube.com/

10/16/2025

The skill of non-judgmental stance is the skill of using descriptions in lieu of judgments. Judgments serve a function, are everywhere in our culture/language AND there are the judgments that negatively impact our mood and interfere with clear communication and those are the ones we want to unpack. Give it a try!