All The Way Home

02/10/2022

I wrote this a couple of years ago. I was still doing physical therapy full time.

Fast forward to now… I needed this more than ever.

Caring for patients in their last chapter of life is a true blessing. It does come with its own set of challenges and heartache.

I’m a worrier.
I always have been.
It seems to get worse as I age.

Here lately, I have been stewing over a couple of my patients. I wake up in the middle of the night, do research, watch YouTube videos and I pray for them and myself.

I chose my profession because I wanted to help people. I wanted to help them get back things they had lost. Whatever that looked like. I’m a “fixer”. I feel like if I can’t fix them and make them better than I am failing them. I am my own worst enemy, I promise.

Today I was walking around the block with a man who has been through more than you can even imagine. His story will chill you to the bone. He is still fighting a battle that none of us want to fight. At the end of our walk, he took me to his backyard so I could see and smell his roses. It was there in that peaceful little backyard; surrounded by the sweet smell that I heard that soft, peaceful voice. God was telling me that He has them. He has all of my patients in His hands. I pray for my patients but yet I try to take control of what I just gave to God in prayer. It’s my job to stop and smell the roses with them and His job to do all the fixing. Yes, He can use me to help orchestrate His plan and what they may need, but it’s not all on my shoulders. I’m supposed to be His hands and feet and let Him do the rest..

Friends, I don’t know what you’re going through right now, but I do know who does. Stop and smell the roses and let God be God.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

05/09/2022

31/08/2022

I get a lot of funny looks when I walk into homes to meet patients and their families.

Most folks are expecting an older man, dressed in a suit, folded hands and a soft spoken demeanor.

[INSERT ME HERE] 🤣

There is a stigma surrounding chaplains. We come in, say a prayer, read a verse and leave.

This is just simply not true. At least it’s not in the practice I’ve tried to create.

One of my favorite memories with a patient is quite opposite of the above statement.

My friend was mad. I mean spittin’ nails mad. He was ready to die. He was done. His bags were packed for Heaven and he was ready to go to his eternal home. He quit communicating with his family and his hospice team. He began really withdrawing. Now this is common towards the end of life, but I just didn’t quite think it was his day to meet Jesus. I leaned over his skinny, worn out body and told him he could spend his last days mad or he could enjoy the rest of his days in fellowship with his family and friends. It was his choice. I told him I supported him no matter what, but before I left I was going to try some roasted pecans his son-in-law had made just for him. He opened one eye and peaked at me. Almost like a possum checking to see if they were in the clear to run off. We ended that visit side by side eating pecans. He was in his underwear, perched on the edge of his bed with a big ‘ol grin. We talked about life, we laughed and we cried. You know we never opened a Bible that day, but man Jesus was there. You could feel His presence with each laugh, each tear and each burnt pecan I put in my mouth. My friend died a few days later. His wish finally came true.

I share this little story with you to serve as a reminder and maybe a little lesson.

Sometimes we get so caught up in wanting to be “formal” as disciples of Christ, we forget to just meet people where they are at. That spot may be on the side of a bed, eating burnt pecans with a little man in his underwear. That’s about as informal as it gets, folks.

I’m just me. God didn’t make me to be your stereotypical chaplain. I’m learning that He can use me in spots that He set up just for someone like me.

You go do the same. Go use your unique gifts and love your people all the way home.

♥️

24/08/2022

Grief can hit like a punch to the stomach.

Anxiety and worry can feel like bricks crushing our chest.

Overwhelm can consume us, leaving us feeling so weak.

There are times in life that no matter how hard we try to think “positive”, we cannot deny or outrun the emotions we are experiencing.

David explains what so many of us experience, in Psalms 31:9-10,

“Be merciful to me, O Lord, for I am in distress, my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and body with grief. My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning, my strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak.”

Sorrow, grief, anguish, groaning, affliction, weakness.

It’s not a “maybe”, it’s a “for-sure” that at some point we will all walk through these emotions.

In fact, some of us are experiencing them right now.

When you’re in the midst of life’s greatest hardships, it feels hard, impossible even, to see beyond it.

It’s like suffering has a way of blinding us from hope, and making us feel like we will never get through it.

But we do get through it.

You will get through this, too.

Because like everything in life, this too shall pass.

And listen, I know there’s some pain and loss we’ll carry for our entire life on earth. I’m not saying we’ll get completely “over” it (although that’s possible, too).

But the way you feel completely slammed and overcome by your emotions right now… that will pass.

I know it’s hard to believe.

But there will come a day when you will be able to think about other things, too.

You’ll be able to laugh and smile again.

You’ll be more open to people and life.

Even if you are carrying around grief.

When we turn to God for healing, He heals. Period.

It can be a long process, but you will not remain in the same spot that you are right now.

So as much as it hurts to be in this place, remember that it won’t always feel like this.

David, who was no stranger to suffering, also wrote this in Psalm 9: 9-10,

“The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.”

He doesn’t leave us as we are, friends.

This will pass because He will carry us forward.

Someday you’ll see.

You’ll see how that hopeless situation turned.
You’ll see the purpose that came from the heartache.
You’ll see how God healed your wounds.

You’ll see His goodness.

It’s a promise.

~The Unraveling Blog with Kelli Bachara

18/08/2022

Imagine that your mom is in the last chapter of her life and you live over 1,600 miles away.

You don’t have the ability to purchase plane tickets right now. You don’t know how you’ll afford the trip and the time off work. You have a family and children to support. You’re stomach is in knots. You’re having trouble sleeping at night. You desperately want to embrace your mom one last time while she’s still able to laugh and tell you she loves you.

In steps Give A Mile…

Since 2013, this organization has provided over 850 flights for family members to say their farewells, embrace and make memories. They also provide flights for hospice patients who are able to travel.

These two sweet souls got to embrace this week because of Give A Mile and all the generous donors that give to the organization.

This is one of my favorite parts of being a hospice chaplain.

People often think all we see is death. That is certainly not true.

This, to me, is watching someone live well.

Thanks, Give A Mile

🖤

www.giveamile.org

16/08/2022

God’s masterpiece on the ranch this evening.

🧡

14/08/2022

Written in 2018 ♥️

I recently had a long conversation with a patient regarding her shoes. She’s likely been wearing them for years. They are comfortable and familiar. She feels like they are broke in just right for her. Why would she change that? She doesn’t like change. If it were up to her, she would wear those navy blue, dusty Keds until she wore the soles completely out.

The problem is they are slick on the bottom. She needs better grip now than she once did. Her once steady gait isn’t as steady any more.
She has been so resistant to new shoes. Her daughter bought her a brand new pair. Every day, I saw them tucked in the corner of her room. They set quietly in their shoebox. One day, she agreed to try them for me. Guess what? Yes, she loved them!! She pranced down the hallway and giggled. Her frail body seemed to have gained a new found confidence. She knew she would have to break them in. She knew this would take a little time. She was so tickled to finally let go of those old shoes.

Why am I telling you this story?

We hold onto those old dusty shoes, don’t we?
They are familiar and comfortable. They seem to fit us just right.

It might just be that old sin that feels comfortable. It might be a relationship. It might be a job. There are many things that these old pair of shoes may represent for you.

God has a brand spankin’ new pair for you. Do you trust him enough to take off what’s comfortable in your life to put on the new? He’s calling us out. He’s calling us to bigger and better things. Yes, it’s uncomfortable. Yes, we may get some blisters breaking them in. Yes, we may fall while getting used to them. God will be there to pick you up if you’re aligned with His will for your life. Ask God to reveal to you what old shoes you’re wearing around right now. Don’t miss what God has to offer! 💙

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
Ephesians 2:10

13/08/2022

Hospice isn’t a place.

Hospice is a benefit.

Hospice is not just for the last few days of someone’s life.

Hospice can provide you or your loved one with the equipment and medications to help ease the financial burden of care. Your medications must be related to your hospice diagnosis in order for a hospice to cover the cost.

Deciding to use the hospice benefit does not mean you’re giving up. It simply means that you or your loved one have decided you no longer want to explore aggressive treatment for your body. It means you have chosen to live out this last chapter of your life not traveling to and from doctor appointments. It means you no longer wish to suffer from the side effects of some of the treatments that you may have explored in the past. It means you will have access to a care team that comes to you. You and your family will be cared for as a whole.

♥️