Silvi Saxena, MSW, LSW

01/30/2026

This really applies to everything, but in the context of relationships, behaviors of hidden communication with others is a breach of trust.

There are a lot of reasons why people may do this. They may be carrying an affair of a physical or emotional nature, they may mean no harm by it but don’t mention it (omission) knowing it may be bothersome to their partner, the communication may be platonic but you want to avoid a potentially emotional conversation so you down play it or lie, etc.

None of these reasons make it respectable to your partner to not be truthful and transparent. It doesn’t really matter what the communication is, it’s a breach of trust. Some may deal with a partner hiding conversations with friends because of financial issues a partner doesn’t know about. Some may deal with a partner only communicating with a certain person on social media like snapchat. Some may delete messages frequently and offer to browse through their phone.

These are all micro-cheating behaviors. You have to respect your partner enough to have hard conversations with them even if it makes you both uneasy. Healthy couples have uncomfortable conversations instead of avoiding them, because the avoidance of these feeling-driven conversations is where relationships often struggle. There is no way to build emotional intimacy and security if you avoid the emotion-heavy conversations needed for the relationship to grow into a partnership.

So instead of hiding behaviors, begin to learn about your own feelings and communicate them to your partner before you find yourself feeling the need to cover your tracks. A big barrier of this for many is shame, and without addressing the root causes, hiding, omitting and lying will always continue.

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01/21/2026

This is an epidemic.

What is often labeled “anxious attachment” in one partner is frequently a reactive response to the inconsistent emotional availability and “vulnerable presence” of the other. When a partner is sometimes present, warm, and vulnerable, but at other times distant, closed off, or emotionally unpredictable, it creates a “hot and cold” dynamic that triggers anxiety, confusion, and a frantic need for reassurance, mimicking a deeply rooted anxious attachment style.

It’s not always a true anxious attachment, but rather anticipatory attachment anxiety which is totally different. Anxious attachment is characterized by behaviors or impulses coming from fear even if no fear is present. This can include hyper vigilance, jealousy, codependency, a frequent need for reassurance (every day), mood changes depending on a partners and struggles with trust.

Secure people can react in anxious ways and often can be dubbed “anxiously attached” in counseling scenarios and this oversight comes into play often when the other partner can explain themselves but are not connecting emotionally and vulnerably.

It’s then very easy to mistake the anxious tendencies as irrational, but even those who are secure can develop anxious attachment as a result of emotionally inconsistent or unavailable partner. Often it’s not out of malice, rather the avoidant tends to struggle with emotional presence and feelings, so they often talk around them, distance themselves, shut down or intellectualize their emotions.

This leaves all the emotional weight on one partner and this imbalance long term is what breaks relationships. It dismantled trust and interdependence which healthy relationships need. Relationships where one partner (or both) avoid feelings, shut down during emotional conversations and show up physically but not mentally starves the relationship of the nurture it needs. You cannot have and build a healthy relationship without mutual vulnerability, emotional safety, presence and attunement, especially in harder conversations and tougher times.

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11/05/2025

Reminder: Mental health, su***de, and access to care are political issues, they're non-partisan, and they're on the ballot. Tomorrow, November 4th, is election day. Please make a plan to get out and vote! Learn more at https://vote4mentalhealth.org/.

07/23/2025

🌎 We all experience the world in different ways, but the impact of state violence on the collective culture and ultimately each individual is traumatic. This is layered of course. Layered with each individuals own personal histories and experiences at the hands of large systems.

🌎 It’s our responsibility to hold space for each emotion that comes up while empowering individuals that they are more than the structures in which they are in right now. We have to help individuals learn the langauge and develop the tools that make sense for them.

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06/16/2025

🧠🤍 As a hospice social worker and trauma therapist, I’ve watched the political divide show up in client’s grief, anxiety, and even how they interpret their own pain.

In my latest op-ed for I argue that therapists and providers can no longer afford the illusion of “neutrality.” Our work is political now more than ever—because our clients’ realities are political now more than ever.

This piece speaks to fellow clinicians, to anyone who’s ever felt silenced by systemic gaslighting, and to communities like mine, where mental health is still taboo.

✊🏽 Read and share if it resonates.
🔗 https://www.madinamerica.com/2025/06/therapists-neutrality-is-no-longer-an-option-politics-is-tearing-us-apart/

05/03/2025

Excited to share I’ll have a new piece published in Evanescent: A Journal of Literary Medicine this summer. Can’t wait for you all to read it. 🤍

03/31/2025

03/15/2025

Celebrating my 1st year on Facebook. Thank you for your continuing support. 🙏🤗🎉

10/16/2024

Hey all, check out my latest article on Mentalyc!

Starting a private practice can be a challenging endeavor to take on, and as an unlicensed therapist, it may take a few extra steps.

10/12/2024

❤️‍🩹 Empathy is a lot more than just feeling bad for someone. That alone makes it focus on how you feel and your feeling bad for someone. Empathy is selfless. Empathy is sitting with someone in their hurt, honoring their feelings and prioritizing their pain in that moment or time they are talking about it or going through a difficult time. Empathy is a basic emotional need we all have, and it’s our individual responsibility to show empathy to people we say we care about. Empathy can be shown by checking in, asking to do activities, asking to stay in together and watch their favorite movies, or anything else.

❤️‍🩹 Everyone is different, but the need we all have it to feel seen and cared for. Yet, so many seem unaware of the basic human need we all have and often complain that their partner or loved one is asking too much. Perhaps in these circumstances it’s our own emotional disconnection from hard feelings that keeps us from showing love and care about another persons hard feelings. It’s time everyone takes emotional accountability for themselves to better care for their emotional health and the relationships in their lives.

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10/06/2024

08/21/2024

We have a new loss of sibling group starting on September 9th!

Support groups at the Center gather individuals with similar circumstances and types of losses into circles of encouragement. Groups are facilitated by our Center’s staff, specially educated in the area of grief and loss. Structure includes discussion and supportive sharing in an atmosphere of mutual respect and hope.

When: Mondays from 4:30pm-6pm: 9/9, 9/16, 9/23, 9/30, 10/7, and 10/14
Where: The Center for Loss and Bereavement
3847 Skippack Pike, Skippack, PA 19474
Fee: $90 (covers all 6 meeting times)

Pre-registration is required. Interested? Reach out to Hannah Feehery for a registration form at 610-222-4110 ext. 127 or hnf@bereavementcenter.org

You can find more information about our specialized adult support groups at this link: https://bereavementcenter.org/specialized-adult-groups/