04/20/2026
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“Eight Dates” is another Gottman classic that focuses on how to continue offering consistent love, care, and attention in your relationship. The authors provide guidance on the frequency and content of dates, as well as how couples spend time together. They emphasize deepening communication skills and intentionally nurturing your relationship, even after being together for a long time.
I am generally a fan of all things Gottman, but this one was not a hit for me. It felt quite formulaic in a way that may not be sustainable and could leave people worrying that they are not “doing their relationship correctly.” It does not leave much room for those living more unconventional lives, and there did not seem to be much flexibility within the framework. While I love the idea of continuing to date one another, even in a long-term relationship, I believe there are more natural and sustainable ways to do this than the book suggests.