ADHD Dude

ADHD Dude Parent Behavior Training to improve emotional regulation, behavior, cooperation, and social skills. The Confident Parents, Capable Kids method by ADHD Dude.

02/22/2026
02/21/2026
02/20/2026
02/18/2026

When your four to seven-year-old is hitting, breaking things, or threatening a sibling, it can feel destabilizing.

Aggression at this age is not random. In children with ADHD or early signs, delays in flexibility and emotional regulation mean frustration can escalate quickly when they do not get their way.
Hitting.
Being destructive
Threatening family members

Once a child is escalated, more talking does not create regulation. It can increase intensity. And if escalation changes the outcome, the behavior strengthens.

๐—”๐—ด๐—ด๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜€๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ฑ๐˜‚๐—ฐ๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ป ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—ณ๐˜‚๐—น๐—น๐˜† ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฝ ๐—ถ๐—ป๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ฝ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜๐—ฎ๐—น ๐—ฎ๐˜‚๐˜๐—ต๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐˜๐˜†, ๐˜€๐—ผ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ถ๐—น๐—ฑ ๐—ณ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—น๐˜€ ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ผ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น๐˜† ๐˜€๐—ฎ๐—ณ๐—ฒ.

I appreciate that stepping into your parental authority may feel uncomfortable. It can feel counterintuitive. But in those moments, it is exactly what your child needs to feel safe and move toward better emotional regulation.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends Parent Behavior Training as the first-line treatment for children with ADHD.

ADHD Dude provides specific Parent Behavior Training for parents of four to seven-year-olds. The course sequence is Capable & Confident, followed by Creating Daily Expectations (4โ€“7).

I cover what to do about property destruction, physical aggression, and other severe tyrannical behaviors in other videos on the ADHD Dude YouTube channel.

๐—ฆ๐˜๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐˜ ๐—ฌ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ฃ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜ ๐—•๐—ฒ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ƒ๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—ง๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐˜๐—ผ๐—ฑ๐—ฎ๐˜† ๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ฎ๐—ฑ๐—ต๐—ฑ๐—ฑ๐˜‚๐—ฑ๐—ฒ.๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—บ

If your home feels tenseโ€ฆ if you're constantly bracing for the next blow up, refusal, or fightโ€ฆ that pressure is drainin...
02/17/2026

If your home feels tenseโ€ฆ if you're constantly bracing for the next blow up, refusal, or fightโ€ฆ that pressure is draining. You shouldn't have to live in stress and walk on eggshells around your child. And you won't have to when you restore your parental authority for your child's benefit.

And this dynamic โ€” where the parent-child hierarchy flips upside down โ€” is not about fault. It's a common pattern in families raising children with ADHD (as well as autism).

๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—ฏ๐—น๐—ฒ๐—บ ๐—ถ๐˜€๐—ป'๐˜ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚.
๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—ฏ๐—น๐—ฒ๐—บ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ณ๐˜‚๐˜€๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜'๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ฎ๐—ธ๐—ฒ๐—ป ๐—ต๐—ผ๐—น๐—ฑ.

Before social media, there was far more clarity around how to change this dynamic. Then came emotionally compelling narratives:
"She's masking all day, so she treats me poorly because I'm her safe person to take it out on."
"He has a nervous system disorder, so he can't help destroying things in our house."
"If your child hits you, it's because they're 'connection seeking.'"

Layered with messaging designed to appeal to mothers' emotions, parental authority began to feel harsh, damaging, or neglectful.
It isn't.

๐—ฌ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ฎ๐˜‚๐˜๐—ต๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐˜๐˜† ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜ ๐—ฎ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ถ๐—น๐—ฑ'๐˜€ ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ผ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ฎ๐—น ๐˜€๐—ฎ๐—ณ๐—ฒ๐˜๐˜†. ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—น๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ธ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐—ฎ ๐—ฐ๐—น๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ ๐—ฝ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜-๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ถ๐—น๐—ฑ ๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐˜† ๐—ถ๐˜€.

Despite what you've been told, you don't need more "connection." You're already attentive and deeply connected. You don't need more explaining, negotiating, therapy language, or processing feelings.

๐—ฌ๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐—ฎ ๐—ฐ๐—น๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ, ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฝ-๐—ฏ๐˜†-๐˜€๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฝ ๐—ฝ๐—น๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐˜€ ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฟ๐˜‚๐—ฐ๐˜๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ฎ๐˜‚๐˜๐—ต๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐˜๐˜† โ€” ๐˜€๐—ผ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ต๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ, ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ถ๐—น๐—ฑ ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ๐—ด๐—ถ๐—ป ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ด๐—ป๐—ถ๐˜‡๐—ฒ ๐—ต๐—ผ๐˜„ ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—ฝ๐—ฎ๐—ฏ๐—น๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐˜† ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น๐˜† ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ.

This is the Confident Parents, Capable Kids Method.

02/17/2026
02/16/2026
02/15/2026

You tell your child the plan has changed.
Or that itโ€™s time to turn off the game and leave.
And their reaction is immediate and intense.

Youโ€™re not trying to provoke a meltdown.
Youโ€™re trying to move the day forward.

Many parents respond by trying to reason or negotiate with their child. Some feel held captive by their child's inflexibility. This can be very stressful, particularly when you're trying to get out the door.
has
But you cannot reason someone out of inflexibility, because flexibility is one of the core executive function skills lagging in children with ADHD.

If inflexibility keeps getting accommodated, it doesnโ€™t level off. It increases with age.

This is a skill issue. And skills can be built.

Capable & Confident (ages 4โ€“7) and Scaffolding Better Behavior (ages 8โ€“17) show you how to stop accommodating rigidity and start building flexibility in concrete, practical ways at home.

Start your parent training at adhddude.com.

02/14/2026

For years, I worked as a school social worker in special education settings, serving students with significant behavioral challenges. The first year my son came to me, I was still working there.

All day, I managed highly oppositional and argumentative students without becoming emotionally reactive.
Then I came home and faced it with my own child.

My son was more oppositional than many of the students I had worked with. One of his go-to behaviors was saying no to everything, even things he would have enjoyed.

Iโ€™ll admit it. For years, I resorted to reactive parenting. I threatened punishments. I escalated.

Eventually, that stopped working.
Like many children with ADHD, he became punishment-adverse. The threats lost their effect. The power struggles got worse.

Thatโ€™s when I learned to ๐—ฑ๐—ถ๐˜€๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ป๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐˜ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐˜„๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐˜€๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐—ฐ๐—ฒ.
For many children with ADHD, arguing is novelty-seeking. When you respond emotionally, debate, or threaten consequences in the moment, you feed it. When you stop engaging and use affective calmness, you remove the reinforcement.

He escalated at first because his old strategy no longer worked.
As he got older, his constant "No" shifted from novelty-seeking to inflexibility. Thatโ€™s when I used ๐—น๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ด๐˜‚๐—ฎ๐—ด๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ป๐˜๐—ฎ๐—ฏ๐—ถ๐—น๐—ถ๐˜๐˜†:
โ€œYou can choose to do your chores and have computer time later, or you can choose not to do your chores and not have computer time. Itโ€™s up to you.โ€

When daily expectations are clear, the choice becomes real.

Parent training, not therapy, is the American Academy of Pediatrics' evidence-based recommended treatment for children with ADHD.

๐—œ๐—ณ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜ ๐—ฝ๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—น ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ด๐—ถ๐—ฒ๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ถ๐—บ๐—ฝ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ฝ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐˜€๐—ถ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ฎ๐—น ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ด๐˜‚๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ƒ๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ต๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฒ, ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—”๐——๐—›๐—— ๐——๐˜‚๐—ฑ๐—ฒ ๐—ฃ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜ ๐—•๐—ฒ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ƒ๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—ง๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ฝ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—ด๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐—บ๐˜€ ๐—ด๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—ฐ๐—น๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ, ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฝ-๐—ฏ๐˜†-๐˜€๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฝ ๐˜€๐˜†๐˜€๐˜๐—ฒ๐—บ๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฝ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—ฝ๐—น๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ฒ:
Capable & Confident (ages 4โ€“7)
Scaffolding Better Behavior (ages 8โ€“17)
Creating Daily Expectations courses

02/13/2026
02/12/2026

Youโ€™re trying to get out the door, turn off a screen, or move onto the next thing. You say no. You give a direction. And within seconds, you get pulled into the argument, reasoning, and negotiation vortex.

You shouldnโ€™t have to defend every parenting decision you make.
And you wonโ€™t when you stop getting pulled into the argument vortex.

When your child argues constantly, itโ€™s exhausting because every interaction turns into pushback. Youโ€™re trying to keep things moving, and the debate keeps restarting.

Arguing is common in children with ADHD. Sometimes itโ€™s inflexibility. Sometimes itโ€™s a difficulty with perspective-taking. Sometimes itโ€™s novelty-seeking behavior.

๐—œ๐˜ ๐˜๐—ฎ๐—ธ๐—ฒ๐˜€ ๐˜๐˜„๐—ผ ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ผ๐—ฝ๐—น๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ด๐˜‚๐—ฒ.
๐—ช๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ป ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—ฑ๐—ถ๐˜€๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ป๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐˜ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ผ๐˜„๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐˜€๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐—ฐ๐—ฒ, ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฐ๐˜†๐—ฐ๐—น๐—ฒ ๐˜„๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ธ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜€. ๐—ฌ๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐˜€๐˜๐—ผ๐—ฝ ๐—ฒ๐˜…๐—ฝ๐—น๐—ฎ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด. ๐—ฌ๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐˜€๐˜๐—ผ๐—ฝ ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐—ด๐—ผ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด. ๐—ฌ๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐˜€๐˜๐—ผ๐—ฝ ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ณ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฑ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด. ๐—–๐—ฎ๐—น๐—บ. ๐—ก๐—ฒ๐˜‚๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐—น. ๐—•๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฒ๐—ณ. ๐—”๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ฑ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ฒ.

At first, you may see emotional blackmail in the form of guilt trips, dramatic statements, or escalation. Thatโ€™s part of the pattern. When you don't re-engage, your child has to practice adapting.

๐—™๐—น๐—ฒ๐˜…๐—ถ๐—ฏ๐—ถ๐—น๐—ถ๐˜๐˜† ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ฐ๐˜‚๐—น๐˜๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฑ. ๐—œ๐—ป๐—ณ๐—น๐—ฒ๐˜…๐—ถ๐—ฏ๐—ถ๐—น๐—ถ๐˜๐˜† ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—บ๐—บ๐—ผ๐—ฑ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฑ.
๐—ช๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ป ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฝ ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐˜ƒ๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐˜๐—ฒ๐˜…, ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ด๐˜‚๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜๐˜€ ๐˜€๐˜๐—ผ๐—ฝ ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—น๐—น๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ด๐˜† ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ต๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฒ. ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜โ€™๐˜€ ๐—ต๐—ผ๐˜„ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ๐—ด๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ฝ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜๐—ฎ๐—น ๐—ฎ๐˜‚๐˜๐—ต๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐˜๐˜†.

If you want help setting this up, the ADHD Dude Parent Behavior Training programs walk you through it:
Capable & Confident (ages 4โ€“7)
Scaffolding Better Behavior (ages 8โ€“17)
Creating Daily Expectations courses

Start your parent training today at adhddude.com

02/11/2026

The link to watch or listen to our latest episode is in the comments section below.๐Ÿ‘‡

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About ADHD Dude & Trip Camp

A practical, modern approach to addressing ADHD, designed for the male brain.

ADHD Dude is Ryan Wexelblatt, LCSW. Ryan is the Director of ADHD Dude & Trip Camp, based in Margate, New Jersey.

ADHD Dude provides social learning programs for boys with ADHD as well individual coaching for boys and their parents.

Ryan creates videos for ADDitude Magazine's ADHD in Boys Section: https://www.additudemag.com/author/ryan-wexelblatt-lcsw/