23/08/2020
To me, these pics are everything 🌈🌈🌈⠀
In honor of National Rainbow Baby Day, these are our 3 Rainbow Babies, under a rainbow. ⠀
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I share this with you all, because every day many of us compare our beginning, with other people’s middle. ⠀
This is my ‘middle’, a family of 5, who I’m unapologetically obsessed with. ⠀
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But there was a lot that happened in our ‘beginning’, that meant we almost gave up trying to create this family. ⠀
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My first pregnancy was twins. ⠀
By pure luck/chance/god/universe, {and I’m sure my Dad watching over me} meant I was in the right place at the right time when my Fallopian tube ruptured at 1am, while sleeping at my mums house. That initial pain woke me like a knife stabbing my abdomen and in the hours that followed I lost consciousness so many times I woke only to beg the Doctors to listen to me. ⠀
My gut knew it was an Ectopic pregnancy, the pain I was feeling was internal bleeding, and my life slowly fading. ⠀
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But the evidence presented to them disagreed, they could see a baby, my Bloodwork showed hcg levels of a healthy pregnancy and the fact I could {barely} speak once in a while through the pain, suggested it couldn’t be anything too serious. ⠀
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Finally after 6 hours when I couldn’t hold on anymore, they rushed me into surgery, removing my right Fallopian tube (twin one) draining my internal bleeding, and with the help of blood donors- saved my life. ⠀
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While recovering in hospital a few days later, I miscarried twin two. I felt it, I saw it. It will live with me forever. ⠀
Before that point we didn’t know I was carrying twins, but the Doctors sighed relief when they had an explanation why nothing previously made sense. I was told the statistics of my scenario were 0.333333. ⠀
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At this point, we almost gave up. ⠀
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We went on to have Rico, another miscarriage and then months and YEARS of peeing on sticks, only to be left disappointed. Emotionally and physically exhausted, we almost gave up again. ⠀
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Until finally we found a special Doctor, the stars aligned, and we were blessed with Riva. ⠀
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Our cherry on top- Aria- came along 2 years later after one more sprinkle of love and science. ⠀
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The beginning wasn’t easy, or fun, or anything like the highlight reel we see on tv/social media.
Every flippant comment-
‘any pitter patter?’
‘he needs a sister’
‘bout time you had another’
= pain behind smiles.
The beginning of anything is messy and hard, but you have to keep going to get to the middle.
After everything, the REAL that I poured out here, was SO worth it.