02/16/2026
Goyita was mom’s childhood nickname. Short for Gregoria. When we’d go to El Salvador, everyone called her and knew her mainly by her nickname.
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As the dementia progressed, words no longer had meaning. She eventually stopped answering to “mami (mom)”, but I never stopped saying it.
One day, I playfully called her Goyita and she turned around in acknowledgement. It was funny, because I could tell she didn’t really like it. It was as if deep down, she knew I was supposed to call her something else, but then she related to this other word.
A part of me felt content that we had a word we both understood. Another part of me was heartbroken. “Mami” no longer had meaning for her, but it did to me.
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In moments like these, I’d turn to my yoga and meditation practices. Not so much the postures and poses, but the teachings and philosophy.
The woman before me was more than my mom. Before she had me (and my siblings), she was a woman with her own dreams, ambitions, fears and worries. Before she was a woman, she was a child. A child with a rough upbringing, but she was resilient and selfless.
Early on when she moved in with me, I’d serve her food and then she’d try to offer it back to me. If visitors came over, she’d offer them her food or her blanket or her hand. For as long as I can remember, mom always thought of others and put others ahead of herself.
It was how I started noticing mom’s true essence. Our true essence goes beyond our physical body, our current circumstances, or our thoughts about “reality”.
Our true essence is unshakable. Uncorrupted. Order and Chaos. Intuitive and Logical. Light and Dark. It’s this and that and all in between. It is Energy. It is Spirit.
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When we went to El Salvador to bury mom, we stopped in a neighborhood where her family used to live. We entered their old neighbor’s house... inside was an older lady sitting in a chair.
My sister introduced herself and then la viejita asked, “y la Goyita cómo está (how is Goyita)?”
My eyes welled up. It’d been decades since she’d seen her, but she still remembered Goyita. My mom...
That’s mom’s essence. Unforgettable.
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[Originally written February 2022]