Bonnie Healey LCSW

03/29/2026

The silent block—where a narcissist severs all ties without warning, blocking access across every digital space and leaving not a single trace of explanation—is far more than a practical way to end communication. It is, in fact, their loudest and most calculated form of punishment, designed to wound deeply, assert control, and leave a lasting emotional imprint that words alone could never achieve.

Unlike direct confrontation, which might allow for dialogue, accountability, or even resolution, the silent block creates an impenetrable wall of uncertainty. The person on the receiving end is left adrift in a sea of questions: What did I do wrong? Was anything about our connection real? Did I matter at all? These unanswerable queries become a form of self-torment, as the individual replays every interaction, searching for clues that will never materialize. This cycle of doubt is precisely what the narcissist intends—they want to keep you emotionally invested in them and the relationship, even as they remove themselves from your life entirely.

For the narcissist, this act of silence serves multiple punitive goals. First, it is a display of absolute power: by erasing you from their world with a few clicks, they demonstrate that your presence (or absence) is entirely at their discretion. It is also retaliation—often for perceived slights, for daring to set boundaries, or for failing to prioritize their needs above all else. By refusing to engage, they deny you the chance to defend yourself, express your truth, or find closure, turning the act of cutting off contact into a weapon to inflict pain.

Moreover, the silence carries a message that is meant to be heard loud and clear: in their eyes, you are unworthy of their time, their energy, or even their anger. They position themselves as the "judge and jury," condemning you without trial and ensuring you have no opportunity to appeal. This dismissal is designed to chip away at your self-worth, making you question your value as a person. In this way, the quiet act of blocking is anything but passive—it is a deliberate, aggressive statement that echoes in the mind long after the connection is broken.

It’s important to recognize that this behavior says nothing about you, and everything about the narcissist’s need to control and manipulate. Their refusal to communicate is not a reflection of your flaws, but of their inability to take responsibility, engage with empathy, or treat others with respect.

03/22/2026

03/16/2026

This is a comment from someone else in a group I belong to, I’m posting it here for awareness purposes.

I strongly believe in patient privacy, sometimes a patient’s or client’s privacy has been taken from them in one way or another and they’re therapy because of it - sometimes their right to privacy is the only thing they feel they have left. If I compromise on their privacy, then I am compromising their dignity. Protecting privacy is extremely important.

I think everyone who is a consumer of a healthcare service, to include therapy, has the right to know which electronic medical record (EMR) their healthcare provider uses. You can then look the EMR up on the internet, see what if any legal actions the EMR has been involved in, and you as the consumer have the right to decide if you are comfortable with how your records are created, collected and stored. Ask questions, do your own research - it’s your right!

HMC uses TherapyNotes (TN). I don’t know of any legal actions involving TN.

This also extends to onsite records storage as well. Who has access to your records? All hard copy medical records should be behind two locks, access should be restricted to “need to know”, which refers to HIPAA’s minimum necessary rule. HMC moved into a paperless model a few years back, and we store all records in TN. Access to charts is restricted to only the assigned clinicians, and our admin staff do not access under their logins to see notes. If there is a reason to keep a hard copy patient record, we do have locked filing cabinets we can use.

TN is not owned by venture capitalists. Most EMRs are. So are most therapy platforms. Venture capitalists are there for the profit, they aren’t there to protect your rights. HMC is contracted with Lyra and Spring Health, and they are both owned by venture capitalists. We store all Lyra patient records in TN, however Spring Health does require us to store documentation in their own platform, which is called Compass. Spring Health is AI-powered and they have an AI Advisory Council which ensures internal ethics reviews and clinical validation processes are being conducted and that there are strict data access controls in place. That being said - they retain ownership of all data, and I don’t know what exactly that will mean in the future.

And to think I began my work in this field with manila folders and printer paper… 🫠

02/23/2026

It’s always a little heartbreaking when something bad happens to a genuinely good person and they ask what they did to deserve it. The answer is “nothing”, but the bad thing still happened to them. It’s not like it can un-happen.

For people in that situation, I would say that nothing matters more than intention. We all make mistakes, but there’s a big difference between mistakes made out of malicious intent vs. mistakes made out of naïveté, misplaced trust, inexperience, etc. I can give understanding and empathy to those who didn’t know better, those who shared too much, and those who genuinely were just trying to be good to someone else. I have a very hard time understanding and caring for those who simply want to hurt someone else. Even when someone does the so-called “right” thing, if they do it for the wrong reasons, then everything they’re doing is wrong. I can’t respect people like that.

Intention matters.

If you’re feeling hurt and confused from being betrayed, misunderstood, targeted for no reason, let me reassure you - you’re going to come out on top. It may take time, but you WILL come out on top in the end. I’ve seen it happen too many times to not believe this is true. And as far as the ill-intentioned people - I’ve seen them get what they deserve too. I’ve seen it happen right away, and I’ve also seen it happen a long time later. Their path isn’t yours - you only need to focus on yourself and your own path. Have faith that intentions really do drive consequences, and your good intentions will eventually lead you to a good outcome. Let this be your motivation to stay steady and true to your values when you’re going through the hardest times.

02/16/2026

This is a perspective we don’t often think of right away - but she’s right! Sometimes the “why” doesn’t matter as much as the “what” matters. What did they choose, what did they do…and that’s it. That’s the closure.

I am posting this here because I think she makes some very good points worth sharing, but also as a reminder to myself that I want to order these books and read more about her view of the letting go and rebuilding process.

02/10/2026

Grief after pregnancy loss is often carried quietly.

Many people feel unsure how to talk about it or worry they’re grieving “too much” or “too long.”

You are not meant to hold this alone.

Support exists.
And you deserve it without timelines, expectations, or explanations.

If pregnancy loss is part of your story, you are not alone in it.

Join our After the Loss: Pregnancy Loss Stabilization & Support Group
Virtual | First Session Begins February 26, 2026
https://hopeandmeaning.com/group-inquiry-form/

02/10/2026

I 100% support the concept of granting behavioral health waivers for MEPS applicants, and I’m very proud of the work we do at Hope and Meaning Counseling to help future service members get the waivers they deserve so that they can have a chance to serve our country.