11/10/2025
I wanted to share some of my story. Everyone has one and we need to let people know that. We have all had struggles, that's life and that's how we live and learn.
I was a sick kid from the beginning, one of the reasons I have never really enjoyed holidays. My mom had trouble delivering me so I got pulled out with forceps. I had braces on my legs as a child because my feet were so turned in from a hard delivery.
The world seemed okay until my parents moved us from West Virginia to Pennsylvania. I despised Pennsylvania from the beginning. I went to a Catholic school until high school and then chose to go to public schools. And that's where the bullying started. I was the new kid on the block, went from uniforms to needing to be "in style." I went from a school where I had 30 kids in one grade to 130 in a grade. I got picked on for people I hung out with, teased for being skinny, for having fair skin, see through eyelashes and eyebrows and for having braces. I got teased for being flat chested. Kids can be mean and it happens to all of us in some way shape or form growing up.
Then my parents got divorced, another thing that back then wasn't "normal." I got picked on for having divorced parents. My mom got me in counseling, I was a daddy's girl but my dad was not the right person for me to be living with....I didn't realize that as a child. My mom got me started in counseling. I believe this is when my eating disorder started as well. It was the one thing I was in charge of and no one could do anything about it. At my worst I was 90 pounds at 5' 11". I was 13 when I started counseling and I have been in it ever since to this day. It has saved my life more than once.
In July 1991, Joey took his life in front of me. I went to my counselor the next day and that's when I was diagnosed with PTSD and severe depression. It took a lot of soul searching and counseling to get me through. My eating disorder got worse and my will to live was hanging by a thread. A long with counseling I found su***de and eating disorder support groups. With counseling, support groups, family and friends I am a survivor and take one day at a time.
In June 2005, I lost my dad at the age of 59. Another big hit to my heart. He was my buddy and best pal. And again, counseling got me through.
In 2006 and 2007 I lost my babies. A devastating loss for me. Was off work for a week each time and went to counseling for help and support. This is an ongoing struggle.
My health over the years has gotten worse instead of better. I have 2 auto immune disorders and am getting tested for a possible third. I look okay on the outside but am not good on the inside. With counseling, a good support system and good Drs I will keep pushing through.
I have tried my entire life to stay kind and spread kindness wherever I am. My struggles aren't anyone's fault and they have to push through their own. I sponsor people who are struggling and together we help each other.
Life isn't easy for anyone. I have other hardships I have been through other than the ones mentioned but that's what life is about. Challenges, trials and tribulations.
Let's help each other, not hurt each other. This world can be tough enough, we don't need to add to it. Be kind! Be there for people! Listen to people! Offer help or an ear to someone struggling. Share your story so they know they aren't alone! We can save a life!! And if you are struggling, please reach out to me anytime! Call 988 24/7!
YOU MATTER! You are worth it!! We need you!!
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