01/07/2021
How to help young children cope with violent news?
Immediately after a well publicized, negative news-event, it is not uncommon for mothers to ask me how can they explain the negative reality to their young children.
Now-days, children have easy access to all sort of devices which gives them first row seats to everything out there -good and bad.
This mother, found out about the D.C. riots when her daughter texted her and asked :
“Are we under attack?”
Mom was at work when the question came through.
There are many ways to answer the question of how we as mothers can help in situations like this; but here are just a few tips to consider when managing younger children.
1-) Make sure your child understands that they are safe. Young children might not understand that the news could be related to something happening on the other side of the planet.
2-) If the child is under 4, you can start by asking the child first, what do they think is happening?
Children can have all sort of explanations to what is happening , and it is helpful to understand their point-of-view, their thoughts, their feelings, and their fears before we introduce ours own adult issues into the conversation. In addition, you can use their own language when communicating with them about the situation. This is one way we can be sure we are sticking to age appropriate language.
Example:
Child(3 years-old watching TV breaking news). Mommy, why is that man breaking that window?
Parent: Why do you think the man is breaking the window ?
Child: Because he wants to get to his friend .
Parent: Yes, sometimes when we feel far away from those we love we can feel scared. Maybe next time, he could just open the door .
Child: he could call his friend .
Mommy: that is a great idea , just use the phone.
Do you want me to show you how to call me on the phone?
( so no need to talk about riots, war, criminals , or politics, or any other adult based explanation while you helped the child feel safe and sooth age-appropriate fears).
3-) As parents, we don’t need to deny that difficult things can happen to people , but we always have to open a door for something positive . By focusing on the positive, you prevent the child from just ruminate in their initial fear; and it helps them with the development of emotion regulation.
Example: Yes, sweetie, sometimes countries fight with each other ; but would you want to be part of those who help? We can put together a box of supplies to send to our soldiers ?
4-) Give your children paper and crayons or art supplies and let them draw freely. It can help them communicate complex feelings for which they still have no words. You can then let the child explain it to you. ( only if the child wants to).
For more parenting tips:
Call Destination You Counseling
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972-439-2078
