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Willow Bend Counseling LLC

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Pleasantville, NY
Willow Bend Counseling LLC

Helping working professional womxn break free from anxiety, difficulty focusing, irritability and stress. Hi, I’m Nicole (she/her). I myself did this.

I grew up in a middle class, rural area of New Hampshire, where the entire state population is only a little larger than the County I live in now in NY state. Despite this discrepancy and how small NH is, I witnessed my fair share of mental health and substance abuse within my family and community. While there was a lot of pain, sadness, loss and fear in this, there was also so much resilience, strength, beauty and love. A late uncle really highlighted this for me. It was through conversations with him I saw how valuable listening, connection and effective therapy are. And so began my journey to becoming a therapist. When I started in the field, I began working with adolescents, which inevitably comes with family therapy, and lots of interaction with moms. My passion for working with women was born during this time. Women consistently put others first, often to the detriment of their own mental health. I’ve experienced first-hand the power of therapy in moving me towards experiencing self-compassion, acceptance and relief. I can breathe again. For years I tried to figure it out on my own, mostly through overachieving and distraction. In my 20s I began my own therapy and it has made all the difference. There’s a shift in my relationships, a shift in my outlook on life, a shift in my mood and feeling sad, worried, even angry, doesn’t feel so scary and overwhelming.

03/10/2023

“I feel like I’m walking on egg shells. I feel like a horrible parent! I get so annoyed with them and I know I shouldn’t. I just get so angry. I don’t know how to help them. I’m afraid they’re going to end up…” if you’ve ever thought any of these in response to parenting your teen, my parent coaching group starting NEXT MONDAY is the place for you! Comment below or DM me for more info. I can help 🤎

03/08/2023

I’m finally getting this group up and running again! Who’s joining us??

11/23/2022

Feeling frustrated 🤬and annoyed isn’t exclusive to the holiday 🎉season. But this time of year, with increased social activities, stimulation, reminders of family conflict and strained relationships, less outdoor activity and darker days, we tend to feel a bit more on edge. 🧗‍♀️

Whether you’re looking for support in this season or in general, I’d love to have you in my FREE community where we embrace the taboo and “bad” of motherhood.

If you’re a working mom with school age kids, and you’re ready to start learning how to release guilt and exhaustion, this is the space for you!

Link in Bio, sign up there or DM me with any questions. 🤗

Can’t wait to see you there!

Did I mention it’s free? 😉

11/15/2022

At some point in my work with moms I almost always hear, "I hate being a mom." It doesn't mean you hate your kids. It means you're in touch with how hard it is to be a mother. It means you probably feel frustrated, annoyed, exhausted, and more.

That's okay. Your thoughts and feelings aren't hurting anyone.
Now, if they lead to physical or emotional abuse, then yes, they're hurting someone.
My guess, however, is that if you've made it this far in reading you likely aren't doing that.
And in fact, you're likely actively working to deal with your emotions.

Here are just a few ways to start processing your emotions.

Read more about helpful ways to move through emotions and react less out of frustration with your kids in my most recent blog: “Is it normal that I hate being a mom?”

I hope you give yourself some time, space and compassion, mama.

Link in bio.

11/10/2022

Feeling angry is so taboo for women, and even more so for moms. We're often shamed for this feeling. The expectation to hold it all in is one of the most frustrating things about motherhood. I know very few moms... make that no moms… who feel happy, grateful, excited and calm 24/7.

I’ll start…

Here’s what I hate about motherhood:
1. I hate when my kids throw tantrums, because sometimes I don't even know how to stop my own internal tantrum.
2. I hate how much I have to censor myself.
3. I hate that I feel like a bad mom for wanting to spend time at work rather than be with my kids sometimes.
4. I hate that I'm not enjoying motherhood more.
5. I hate that I have trouble turning off my brain, and my kids notice when I'm not paying attention.
6. I hate that I lose my s**t sometimes.

What do you hate? Dislike? Wish you didn’t have to deal with?

You are not alone mama! 🤎 Check out my most recent blog “Is it normal that I hate being a mother?” Link in profile.

11/08/2022

Motherhood can bring up so many emotions. Joy, love, happiness, awe and grief, loss, loneliness, fear, sadness, disappointment and so much more.

Motherhood can have a way of healing our old wounds. Of bringing up feelings we thought we buried long ago, or didn’t even know we had. These feelings alone are enough to bring up sentiments of “I hate being a mother!”

My guess is that guilt often accompanies this thought for you.

Mama, there is no judgment here.

Check out my most recent blog post that explores what contributes to this thought, where its coming from and what we can do about it.

I hope after reading it, you'll feel less alone, less of that mom guilt and more love and affection toward yourself.

10/20/2022

Yes, I said it. And I know I’m not the only one who’s had this thought.

Sometimes I hate being a mom. I love my kids and sometimes I feel this so strongly that anger and sadness boil up.

There are so many messages around how we should feel, think and behave as mothers. So many messages about what is okay and not okay to say out loud. Well, it’s okay to say out loud here.

It can be true that:
🤎You we’re able to have children.
🤎You don’t get to spend much time with them.
🤎You wanted kids.
🤎You have a good life.
🤎Your partner is supportive.

That doesn’t have to mean:
🖤 You can’t complain.
🖤You can’t want and get time for yourself.
🖤You give up parts of yourself.
🖤You can’t fantasize about a different life.
🖤You can’t hate motherhood.

It probably means:
💛You’re exhausted.
💛You love your kids and you need alone time.
💛You love parts of your life and dislike other parts of it.
💛You feel lonely.
💛You feel overwhelmed and can’t seem to stop thinking about everything you have to do.
💛The responsibilities of all your roles is unmanageable and something has to change.

10/09/2022

I’m Nicole. A trained therapist for families and mindset coach for working moms. I occupy many roles and identities I spend lots of time unpacking.

I’ve spent much of my life trying to be the perfect and best everything. Perfect friend, straight A student, popular, a great athlete and do-gooder, the most accommodating employee, the best oldest sibling, the most well-behaved, helpful daughter, the most thoughtful girlfriend, the most accommodating, understanding, one-of-a-kind wife, the most supportive coworker, the least disruptive employee, the most selfless therapist, the most rule abiding and simultaneously responsible therapist the fastest healing, compliant patient, the strongest wife and mom, the most loving mom, the most calm and firm mom and more…

Making this list is exhausting. And it’s even more exhausting and frankly problematic trying to be all these things.

I’ve spent significant time over the last few years trying to unpack this. To understand where they come from, what benefit they provide me, what harm they cause me.

And I’ve more recently spent time discovering what it would be like to be the worst of all these things. What I would do if I were a bad girl, bad daughter, bad wife, bad mom, bad therapist, bad friend. And what would happen as a result. And honestly, I’m discovering I’m loving some of it! There’s so much freedom in it! And the consequences are often beautiful 🤎

I’ve made an emotional, financial and energetic investment in myself and discovered: If were a bad mom, I’d take more time to enjoy myself without my kids. If I were a bad mom, I’d feel anger and talk about it with friends. If I were a bad mom, I wouldn’t feel guilty accepting help and allowing someone else to help raise my children. I were a bad mom, I’d enjoy work and prefer to be at work outside of the home, than with my kids 24/7. Thank you & for this!

I’m loving being a bad mom! Have you tried it?

10/06/2022

Using a little “opposite action” today 💪🏼 Shout out to women owned businesses😘 Thank you for helping me feel beautiful and organized. Helps my insides feel less of a hot mess.

06/17/2022

Catch you on the flippity flip! 🙋🏻‍♀️

My goal with this page has been to inspire and encourage mothers (especially those caring for a child with a mental health diagnosis) to care for their own mental health, learn to pay attention to their own needs and emotions, and communicate those needs and boundaries to others in their life.

The time has come for me to take some of my own advice, and take a month long break from social media.

I’m in a season in my life where I need to focus on my own mental health, physical health, my family‘s well-being, and get the creative juices flowing again.

I look forward to returning soon and continuing this journey with you all! I appreciate you all!

Yours,
Nicole
😘🤎

06/14/2022

What feels good for you today…this week…
this weekend… this month?!

You’re mental health matters, you matter!

Do what will give you some relief. If you need a change, make a journey towards it.

Take what you need! You got this! 🤎

06/10/2022

If your child is facing depression or anxiety it would be hard for you NOT to struggle.

The reality is that when we are not taking care of our own mental health where more irritable, more on edge, more anxious and even sad.

And our kids can sense it, no matter how old they are.

If we are not taking care of our own mental health we are more likely to react impulsively and out of frustration and anger, which tends to make things worse.

This can lead to a stressful cycle. 🔄

Taking care of yourself, especially your mental health is important for you and your child.

🤎

Address

351 Manville Road Suite 104
Pleasantville, NY
10566

Opening Hours

Monday	10am - 7pm
Tuesday	10am - 7pm
Thursday	10am - 6pm

Telephone

+19148254800

Website

http://www.willowbendcounseling.com/

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