Dr. Liz Powell

01/27/2026

Intent matters, but it isn’t magic. Hurt doesn’t go away because the actions or words leading up to it were an accident. 🙌

So what should you do if someone hurts you?

You can look at their intent. Did they mean to hurt you?

If they didn’t, was it due to a general thoughtlessness? What do you need to process the hurt? Can they accept that they hurt you even if they feel like they didn’t do anything “wrong?”

From there, can you have a conversation that understands the difference between the intent and the impact of what happened?

No one can communicate perfectly 100% of the time. Our lived experiences give us each a different idea of what’s okay to say and what might be hurtful. What’s important is how we respond after.

01/25/2026

Fat folks are great! Fat play is fantastic! And if anyone gives you s**t about your body or how you look, then they do not deserve you. 🙅

There are so many ways that society convinces us, especially folks socialized as women, that we need to self-monitor. If we're in a bigger body, then we are worth less, or not as deserving of pleasure. 😡

That is not true at all!

You deserve all the pleasure and joy and intimacy, no matter what body you're in! ✨

Letting go of those self-monitoring or intrusive thoughts can be difficult, so if body positivity feels like too big a step, start with body neutrality.

This is the body you have right now. What brings you pleasure in this body? Figure that out, and do more of it.

As you practice these thoughts, you'll start to build the framework to truly love yourself and your body! 💜

01/23/2026

Gaslighting is a very specific thing under the umbrella of toxic behavior, and it’s important to make that distinction.

Gaslighting is when someone denies your objective reality, not your interpretation of reality, which is still not okay!

When someone is gaslighting you, it’s an intentional act, but sometimes we hurt each other unintentionally.

If you tell someone that they hurt your feelings, how are they responding? Step back and ask yourself: Are they denying certain events happened, or are they denying your hurt?

You deserve relationships where you can work through tough feelings, misunderstandings, or disagreements, where your experiences are validated!

01/21/2026

It’s easy to believe confidence is the key to amazing intimacy. In my experience, sometimes confidence can actually get in the way.
ㅤ
You know what's a million times better than confidence? Openness. Excitement. Being present and in the moment with your partner!
ㅤ
When you're able to get out of your head and let go of the idea of having a ✨ perfect ✨ experience, you're almost always going to have a much better time.
ㅤ
So, the next time you and your partner are in the bedroom, forget confidence! Pay attention to what they're doing. Pay attention to what you're doing. And if something feels good, do more of it. 😉

01/19/2026

It's no secret that I love LOVE! I've been practicing ethical non-monogamy for a long time and have had my fair share of mishaps and mistakes. It's easy to struggle when dipping your toes into polyamory because society has wired us for monogamous relationships. So, if you're new to polyamory or still working out the kinks (😉) I've got a course just for you!

In Unf*ck Your Polyamory, you'll learn all the skills you need to grow your:
🌟 Confidence
🌟 Communication
🌟 and Love

This 6-week course will give you easy, guided practice to confidently AND ethically manage your love life. Learn more with the link below. 💜

🔗 https://vist.ly/4nec8

01/17/2026

This year, we are welcoming all q***r folks in the q***r community, even if their q***rness doesn't look like your idea of what being q***r means. 🏳️‍🌈
ㅤ
It's never our business to decide what labels someone uses, but this year, especially, we need to stand up for our fellow community members.
ㅤ
Right now, things are scary, uncertain, and dangerous for q***r and other marginalized groups. So, we must stick together, uplift one another, and remember that q***r joy is resistance. 💜

01/15/2026

I've been in kink-positive spaces for over 20 years, and I get people asking me all the time, "What's the BEST way to get into kink?"

Now, I may not have the exact answer, because we all like different things at different intensities, but here are a few things to keep in mind:

💜 Let go of mainstream ideas of kink relationships. They might be hot, but it's often under-negotiated or bordering on abuse.
💜 Start slow! Just like you wouldn't skydive without an instructor for your first few jumps, you don't have to start with the most intense scenario you've been dreaming about.
💜 Read up! I've got some amazing recs for how to negotiate and care for yourself in a kink setting.

To see my favorite books and get some more in-depth thoughts about safely getting into kink, watch my video using the link below! ✨

🔗 https://vist.ly/4mxzp

01/13/2026

How can you tell if you’re being manipulative?

It can be tricky because what we perceive as manipulation is cultural, and it’s something we can do by accident. 😬

However, I think manipulation comes down to, “If you do or don’t do this, then I will make something bad happen.” There’s a bit of a threat, whether explicit or implicit. And it’s through that threat that you are trying to control or change someone’s behavior.

Manipulation also tends to come from an inability to sit with discomfort. If it’s really hard for you to take any kind of no, then you might wait to ask your partner for something until it’s something that you really, really, really need, and so we resort to these more extreme behaviors to guarantee a yes.

Are these patterns sounding a little too familiar? Sit back and ask yourself:
💜 Are you giving people space to say no?
💜 Are you punishing them when they do say no?
💜 Are you reinforcing their agency and autonomy?
💜 Are you making sure that you're processing your feelings on your own and not making your partner like your primary processing point for every single feeling right away?

In my latest video, I go over common manipulative patterns and how to start breaking free so you can create healthy relationship dynamics!
🔗 https://drlizpowell.com/am-i-manipulative/

How can I recognize when I'm being manipulative? So, I think this is complicated because again, there are so many societal components to what we perceive as manipulation. Like I think a lot of peop…

01/11/2026

Polyamory doesn’t really get any mainstream representation, and when it does, it’s usually full of untrue stereotypes. So I think it’s easy for folks to assume that polyamory can only work if everyone is in this one big happy family and there’s never any conflict…

But, when have you ever had a 100% conflict-free group of people?? 👀

We're all messy weirdos, and sometimes you just don’t like someone. It doesn’t mean they’re a bad person or you’re a bad person; you just don’t mesh well.

Just like you can dislike a coworker and still work with them, you can do the same with your meta. If you have to exist in a shared space, offer a friendly nod, talk to other people, and don’t get in a fight.

That’s all you have to do! 💜

01/09/2026

What day is it? 👂 Oh, that's right, it's Q&A day! Join me at 11 am PT/1 pm CT/2 pm ET over on IG live to answer all of your juicy questions!

We're kicking things off with a discussion about knowing when to leave or fight for your relationship!

If you can't make it today, you have all week to head over to my IG and watch the recording. After that, it gets moved to my Patreon, which holds exclusive access to all of my past Q&As!

See you soon! 🥳

01/07/2026

Are you ready for the first Q&A of 2026?! 👀 Join me this Friday, January 9th! I'll go live at 11am PT/1pm CT/2pm ET right here on Instagram!

If you have a question you want answered, then ask me a question with the link below!

Let's start this year's Q&As off strong, send me anything you've got! The juicier the better. 😉

🔗 https://vist.ly/4kwtf

01/07/2026

Did you know that the term gaslighting came from a movie called Gaslight? 👀 It’s about a man who messes with the gaslights in the home he shares with his wife to make her think she’s going crazy, so she gets institutionalized because he’s having an affair. (Isn’t that always the way these things go?)

Because the term comes from the movie, gaslighting refers to the specific act of denying another person's objective reality.

It’s different from denying someone’s interpretation of reality (which is still a s**tty thing to do, it’s just not gaslighting).

If someone is gaslighting you, it can be hard to realize because someone is going out of their way to make you question and doubt yourself.

But that doesn’t mean it’s hopeless. Take notes about everything. Write down your thoughts before talking to that person. And after you have a conversation, reflect and process with a safe person, like a therapist.

If you feel confused all the time, something toxic is probably happening. My latest video is all gaslighting actually is, some things to ask yourself if you are questioning reality within your relationships, and the difference between impact and intent.
🔗 https://drlizpowell.com/how-do-i-know-if-someone-is-gaslighting-me/

How can I tell if I'm being gaslit? I want to preface this by saying that gaslighting is a very particular thing, and it is not the only bad thing. I think that what I'm going to answer for this qu…