Clarity Psychology Solutions - Dr Judith R. Whitfield

11/28/2025

11/26/2025

11/22/2025

Bring your cats! Bring your dogs! Bring your donations! Thank you for spending time with us every weekend, Santa. We know it’s your busy season. 🙏🏽🎅🏼🎄

11/21/2025

11/10/2025

Please help us support Poulsbo Candy Shoppe’s good work in the community.
This is what the holidays are all about.
🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽❤️

11/07/2025

These are great!

These calm, connection-based phrases set clear limits and keep the relationship intact. 💛

✨ Save this for when you’re feeling frustrated or overwhelmed or share with a parent who might benefit from this as well

11/06/2025

11/04/2025

Your child is melting down. You've tried saying "calm down" – that made it worse. You've tried explaining why they shouldn't be upset – they can't even hear you. You've tried sending them to their room to "cool off" – they're just melting down harder.

Here's what I need you to know: Your child isn't choosing to stay dysregulated. They literally cannot calm themselves down in that moment.

When your child is escalated, their amygdala has taken over. That's the alarm center of the brain. It's screaming "DANGER!" and shutting down access to the prefrontal cortex – the thinking, reasoning, problem-solving part of the brain.
So when you tell them to "calm down" or "use your words," you're asking their brain to do something it literally cannot do. It's like asking someone who's drowning to recite the alphabet.

This is where co-regulation comes in. Your calm nervous system sends signals to their nervous system: "You're safe. I'm here. We're okay." And slowly, their brain comes back online.

But here's the catch: You cannot co-regulate your child if you are not regulated yourself. If you're yelling "CALM DOWN!" while you're dysregulated, your nervous system is confirming what their amygdala was already screaming: "DANGER!"

The real question isn't "How do I get my child to calm down?" It's "How do I stay calm enough to help them regulate?"

In this week's newsletter, I'm breaking down exactly what co-regulation looks like at every age – including the specific strategies that work for neurodivergent kids (because yes, it looks different). I'm also sharing the one mistake that makes meltdowns last 3x longer.

👉 Sign up for my newsletter (link in bio) to get the full framework delivered to your inbox this week.

Your kid isn't broken. Your parenting isn't broken. Sometimes, we're just asking our fish to climb trees. That's what we fix here.

11/03/2025

This goes for the adults, too!

When clocks “fall back,” many kids with learning and thinking differences need extra time to adjust. Sticking to steady routines can ease afterschool meltdowns. Learn more about ADHD and sleep and get tips for better rest: https://u.org/3JFiQMG