Funeral Advocates

07/07/2025

We just updated our Vision and Mission statements because of some practices of a few "Bad Actors" in the funeral industry.

Funeral Advocates, LLC

Our Vision Statement:
We envision a world where every grieving family is compassionately supported and shielded from the pressure and manipulation of predatory funeral sales practices. At the heart of our work is the belief that no one should navigate this vulnerable time alone or uninformed.

Mission Statement:
Our mission is to stand as trusted advisors -
prioritizing the needs and wishes of the family above all else empowering them with clarity, confidence and full control over the funeral planning process, when they need it most.

06/30/2025

Standing Up for Families: Why Funeral Advocates Matter

Recently, I received a one-star Google review from a manager at one of the largest funeral service companies in the country. His comment read, “Did you know you you can save thousands of dollars by talking directly with the funeral home?” (Yes, he actually wrote “you you.”)

This is the same manager who once told one of my clients they didn’t need my services and that he would have offered them a 20% discount—if they had come directly to him. The client’s response was powerful:
"Then why didn’t you give my wife that same 20% discount last year when she buried her son through your funeral home?"

I called the funeral director that same afternoon to ask why he would undermine the services I provide. In our conversation, he admitted that families who don’t pre-plan often end up spending nearly 40% more in “at-need” situations.
I told him, “That is exactly why families need my protection and guidance—because they’re often in crisis and vulnerable to overspending on funeral goods and services.”

In another instance, this same manager was dismissive and uncooperative when I helped a family purchase two cemetery plots on the secondary market for $700 each, while the cemetery was selling adjacent plots for $6,595.
The plots were inherited by a grandson in South Dakota who had no intention of using them. I facilitated the sale to ensure both the buyer and seller were protected, and that all paperwork was completed correctly. The manager objected, saying, “That’s not how we do things here.”
But thanks to a helpful junior associate, the transaction was finalized properly—because that’s exactly how it should be done.

In his now-deleted one-star review, the manager even went so far as to direct people to his company’s funeral home and another—both owned by the same parent company—for “fair treatment.”
One of my trusted clients suggested I ignore the review and let the manager’s own words speak for themselves. Fortunately, Google agreed and removed the review, recognizing it as unethical and inappropriate.

Let me be clear:
I will not stand by while the “big boys” in the funeral industry mislead, overcharge, or intimidate the families I serve.

If you or someone you love is facing end-of-life planning, don’t go it alone. Call Funeral Advocates for honest, transparent, and ethical guidance—before you need it. We’re here to protect your interests and ensure you're treated with the fairness and dignity you deserve.

11/30/2021

More and more people are asking about Natural Burials. Here is an article about my experience helping a family accomplish a significant funeral service while paying attention to caring for Mother Earth. Enjoy and share. Always my best, Brian O'

On Natural “Green” Burials

10/12/2020

Here is a recent post from our webpage that people seemed to find helpful as they think about end of life planning. Bottom line, pre-plan but don't necessarily pre-pay, Enjoy.

One of the most frequent questions I get asked as a Funeral Advocate is, “Should I prepay my funeral?” The answer is, depends.

10/09/2020

Yesterday I had the honor of taking a client (and Navy Veteran) to the National Cemetery at Leavenworth to see the Military options available to honorably discharged veterans. It is such a beautiful, peaceful and dignified final resting place. I recommend a trip there to feel the honor these folks and their spouses earned through their service to our Country. The leaves are just starting to change colors and it is only a 45 minute drive. Call me if you want a personal tour or would like a booklet "Planning Your Legacy, VA Survivors and Burial Benefits Kit"

10/02/2020

Although we have not "posted" anything for the past several years, we have still been doing great work for families. We are in the process of revitalizing this page and we want to thank you for being fans of ours for so long.

Please keep an eye open for new content, as well as ways to connect with us. Feel free to ask questions because if you are thinking it, that means others are probably thinking of it too.

We have been receiving some wonderful reviews that we are excited to share with you and we hope that if you have had similar experiences with Funeral Advocates, that you will feel free to post those stories here.

Always our best......Brian O.

06/03/2015

Have you ever been to a funeral, signed the guest book with your name and address, and just magically received a solicitation from that funeral home just three short months later? I heard in a "true confession" from a funeral director that there is NO coincidence. Bad practice for sure.

05/28/2015

Obituaries Made Simple
By
Brian M. O’Laughlin
www.FuneralAdvocates.com

Do you want to pay a tribute to your loved one that will not only do the job but also be memorable and attract readers? Here is a brief summary on how to construct a simple but catchy obituary. The basics of writing an obituary can be divided into three sections:

1. A bit about the decedent
2. Who are the relatives
3. When and where are the services

An obituary notice typically starts out with the formal name of the decedent with any nick names added in quotations or parenthesis. For example: Russell Robert “Bob” Jones, or Mary Margaret (Mimi) Smith.

Often the age of the decedent is added at the end of the name……For example: Russell Robert “Bob” Jones, age 102,
Then any euphemism for DIED is added here….they often are expressed as DIED, PASSED AWAY, WENT TO MEET THE LORD, etc.

Section ONE:…a bit about the decedent. This is what you wish to share about mom or dad or whoever died. Tell us (the reader) their “story” where they were born or grew up. Tell us where they went to school or how their education played a part in their career. Next tell us how we might have known them…their career or who they worked for or with. Post the sentence as if they were answering the question, “What was the most significant contribution of your life” or “What describes your contribution to society.” Keep the sentences brief but descriptive. Many people add awards and organizations the decedent received or belonged to. I always suggest you boil them down to the most significant to your loved one or the most recent. Runner-up in the sixth grade science fair may have been significant at the time but as a summary of a life well lived might prove to be insignificant. Feel free to have fun with this part as humor often keeps the reader interested and engaged. Use descriptive words but be concise.

Section TWO:….who are the relatives. This is where you list the “players” in a person’s life. Often times, traditionally, they list something like: “Bob was the oldest son of Henry and Florence Jones, of Cedar Rapids, IA. He was predeceased (or proceeded in death) by his parents, siblings Zeke and Hickory.” “Bob is survived by his loving wife of 52 years Mary (Harris) Jones and children, Matthew, Mark and Suzie.” Sometimes, when the children are married, they will list the adult child’s name followed by their spouses name in parentheses. For example: Matthew (Erin); Mark (Claire) and Suzie (Fred Smith)…assuming all the sons have the same last name as the decedent. As in the example of Suzie, if there is a daughter who is married, just list her first name and her spouses’ full name in parentheses.

Sometimes people feel the need to include the grandchildren’s names. This can be accomplished by either listing them by families, chronically or just the number of grandchildren and great grandchildren. We want to list the significant relatives so the reader can identify exactly who the decedent is. I had a friend and his wife attend the visitation service for Mary White of Kansas City, KS. The obituary was so limited that it was the wrong Mary White which made for a pretty quick visit.

Section THREE:…When and where are the services.
Be as descriptive as you can by listing the location by name, address and times of the services. For example, “Visitation will be this Monday, April 20, 2015 from 5:30 pm to 8:00 pm, at ABC Funeral Home, 123 Maple St. Kansas City, MO. 64112.” Or “Services will be held at Holy Spirit Catholic Church at 11300 W. 103rd St., Overland Park, KS 66214. Rosary and Visitation will be held from 4-6pm on Friday, April 24. The Funeral Mass will be held the church at 10:00am Saturday April 25th.” Make sure the following is in each obit:
Where- Name and address of the services
When- Time of service or services.
What- Visitation-Funeral-Grave Side-Memorial Service-Celebration of Life, let the reader know what is going on.
Refrain from listing meals or buffets or open bars in the newspaper as you can announce these at the services for the friends and family to attend….not just anyone who can read a newspaper.

It is often nice to have the name or web address of the funeral home with their phone number as many people will “bother them” with questions about service or memorial contributions. They will often list the obit on their web page for free (and you can tell the decedent’s story without having to pay by the column line.) These web listings can be “captured and shared” by social media outlets like Facebook or Twitter etc.

Unless you want lots of flower to “deal with” after the service, you might consider to list in the obituary that:
“in lieu of flowers, contributions to …” Your funeral advocate or director can prepare envelopes with the address of the hospice organization or the church’s endowment fund or the animal shelter for the attendees to put their check or cash into at the service or take the envelope and mail in a memorial contribution at a later time. Most families prefer to select their own flowers for the service or to decorate the casket with.

Some considerations that can be added or omitted are:
a. Cause of death- This is often indicated by who the memorials go to.
b. Cemetery location- many people have family only grave side services.
c. Cremation- not really anyone’s business but this used to be expressed in the obituary when cremations were rarer.

My next posting will address how to write an economical obit…as the cost of publishing them in major newspapers continues to skyrocket.
For more information contact Brian at: Brian@FuneralAdvocates.com

Funeral Advocates provides quality representation of our clients’ wishes in the event of the death of a loved one. We bring to a bereaved family the knowledge base and negotiating skills necessary to secure funeral products and services at the lowest cost possible..