Kerri Danskin, Ph.D.

06/22/2022

Meditation is a space where I can notice and gently set aside my planning, my worrying, and my attempts at optimization. Can you give yourself just one minute today with nothing to do, nothing to plan, and nothing to protect?

05/18/2022

Congratulations to all the Princeton 2020 grads who are in town for their in-person commencement at long last. I hope coming full circle feels healing and helpful, wherever your journeys have taken you.

05/12/2022

Just heard some great news: the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline is now LIVE! The hotline, funded by the U.S. Health Resources and Services Administration (HRSA) and operated by Postpartum Support International, is available 24/7, 365 days a year, in English or Spanish, and other languages by request. It is available for pregnancy, postpartum, and post-loss support. You can call or text any time to connect with a counselor for confidential conversation, support, understanding, and resources. 1-833-943-5746

05/08/2022

Mother’s Day.

You ever gone to a birthday or holiday party with a heavy heart? Maybe a close friend was just diagnosed with terminal cancer. Maybe you're depressed, or maybe it was just a bad day. You go to the party with a happy face painted over the sadness. You smile and try your best — for the sake of the celebration, for the sake of the one being celebrated— to pretend.

Pretend. You pretend.

Bury that sorrow. Bury it deep down for a few hours.

By the time you leave, the emptiness sets in again, although this time there’s something missing. It’s one thing to walk around friends and family who don’t recognize your sorrow. It’s much deeper when we don’t acknowledge it in ourselves for the sake of celebration.

To all the mothers who have lost,
to all the mothers who suffer the disenfranchised grief of miscarriages, infertility, and still births,
to all the children who have lost their mothers,
to all the children who had/have mothers they’d rather not celebrate,
Mothers Day can be a day when you lose another piece of yourself by burying your sorrow in the name of celebration.

Renarrate the story. Mother’s Day isn’t about what we think we should feel. Honor Mother’s Day with tears. Honor Mother’s Day with a trip to the cemetery. Honor Mother’s Day by conjuring the dead and bringing them into the here and now. Honor Mother’s Day by saying their name.

Sanctify it with your grief. Sanctity it with a broken heart. Sanctify it by washing off the happy face. Sanctify it by not pretending. Say their name. Okay? Say their name. Speak your grief. Okay?

It’s okay if you’re sad on Mother’s Day.

And if you want to celebrate tomorrow AND feel your sorrow, friends, your heart is big enough to hold both. No one can tell you what you should feel on Mother’s Day.

I love you all.

(The picture is me and my Mom from back when I looked like a turtle)

04/21/2022

I am a licensed psychologist specializing in mental health challenges like depression and anxiety as well as life transitions including fertility/pregnancy/becoming a parent, changes in family relationships, young adulthood, and surviving grief/ trauma.

04/18/2022

Anybody feeling awkward coming out of two years of COVID isolation? Here's my new blog post on social anxiety in this complicated time. https://www.kerridanskin.com/blog/2022/4/15/post-covid-social-anxiety

04/12/2022

It is so helpful when celebrities share information about the mental health issues that can arise during pregnancy. Post-partum depression is finally pretty widely understood (though still deeply stigmatized), but so few people know that depression and anxiety can arise during pregnancy as well. It can be so difficult to bear these symptoms during a time when friends and family expect to see joyful anticipation and instead we are filled with sadness, fear, or dread. It’s hard growing a human! We can support our pregnant family members and friends by starting our conversations from a place of neutral curiosity (“How has it been for you?”) rather than asking leading questions/making comments that presume a positive experience (“You must be so excited!”). Britney Spears has been through a lot. It’s such a service for her to offer this lifeline of understanding to other folks who are suffering.

Britney Spears reflected on her experience with 'absolutely horrible' perinatal depression while announcing her pregnancy. Here's what it is.

04/07/2022

A significant ending is never just one thing.
https://www.kerridanskin.com/blog/2022/4/7/conscious-endings