S dot Baker LICSW, LLC

02/12/2026

02/12/2026

Black mental health matters.

Su***de touches those of all ages in Black communities, with 1 in 10 youth attempting su***de and the highest rates of su***de seen in 25–34-year-old adults.

With culturally relevant mental health resources we can fight su***de in historically marginalized communities and foster a better understanding of Black mental health.

Artwork by Lo Harris

02/12/2026

02/11/2026

I hate it when people say “If you love me, you’ll accept me as I am”.

Loving you doesn’t mean tolerating your refusal to develop emotional intelligence and heal your dysfunction.

If you loved you, you would do the work so people who love you don’t feel forced to walk away.

That’s the twisted part, isn’t it?

People use love as an excuse to stay stuck, to avoid accountability, to keep doing the same toxic patterns.

But real love, genuine love, is about wanting the best for the other person, even if that means having hard conversations, setting boundaries, or taking a step back.

It’s about recognizing that we’re all works in progress, but also acknowledging that we have a responsibility to ourselves and others to do the inner work.

If someone loves you, they’ll support your growth, they’ll encourage your healing, but they shouldn’t have to beg you to take care of yourself.

You should want to take care of yourself, not just for them, but for you.

That’s where the real change happens.

02/09/2026

You can spend years learning about your past, gaining awareness and practicing self-regulation tools. But if you’re still in an environment that gaslights, dismisses or distorts your reality, your nervous system is forced to stay on guard.

You go to therapy. You read the books. You do the breathwork, the journaling, the inner child work. You understand your triggers. You know your patterns. You’ve put in genuine effort to heal. But then you go home to the same people who caused the trauma, and suddenly none of those tools work the way they should.

Because healing requires safety. Your nervous system can’t regulate in an environment that constantly dysregulates it. You can meditate all you want, but if you’re living with someone who gaslights you daily, your body stays in survival mode. You’re trying to heal while the wound is still being reopened.

Your nervous system is forced to stay on guard. Not because you’re doing healing wrong. But because you’re trying to heal in the same environment that made you sick. It’s like trying to recover from a broken leg while someone keeps kicking it. The healing is real, but the harm is continuous.

Sometimes the most important healing tool isn’t another therapy technique. It’s distance. It’s removing yourself from the source of the trauma. You can’t regulate around people who are actively dysregulating you. Your nervous system knows this even when your guilt doesn’t.

02/06/2026

The bravest thing you can do is give yourself permission to not have it all figured out. To not be okay. To not be perfect. You’re in a season of unraveling, and that’s okay. It’s okay to let go, to let the pieces fall, and to be unsure of what’s next. You’re not losing yourself; you’re finding the parts of you that were hidden under the noise. You’re giving yourself the gift of space, of time, and of compassion. And when the spark comes back, it’ll be brighter, wiser, and more you than ever before. For now, just breathe, feel, and be. You’re doing exactly what you need to do.