23/10/2024
This. This. This.
Punishment and consequences are NOT the same.
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A Punishment is when you want a child to feel suffering,
exclusion,
fear,
or despair,
because they made a "bad choice," or had a "negative behavior."
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A Punishment Looks Like--
*taking away toys arbitrarily,
*yelling or insulting them
*time outs with no emotional regulation tools or co-regulation,
*or s***king (please DON'T s***k).
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A mindfully chosen consequence is how you help to shape a child's environment,
to prevent danger and
help encourage pro-social behavior and LEARNING .
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A consequence Looks like--
*asking them to hold your hand when you cross a parking lot,
so they won't bolt.
*ensuring you take safe foods,
to the restaurant where they
might not like the options,
so they can practice etiquette and conversation.
*rotating small bins of toys or books,
so there aren't too many to leave
on the floor, when they struggle
to tidy up...
and gently helping them
learn to tidy.
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How were you punished?