Tabor Talk

01/02/2026

Being the first person to go against the grain can come with a lot of criticism and judgement. But if being the “black sheep” means I am breaking generational trauma, then I’ll gladly wear that title.

01/01/2026

Breaking cycles doesn’t look pretty.
It doesn’t look like aesthetic healing quotes or perfectly calm reactions.

It looks like catching yourself mid-sentence and choosing different words.
Like apologizing to your kids when you mess up.
Like learning how to regulate emotions you were never taught to understand.

It looks like unlearning survival mode while still having to show up every day.
Like choosing softness after years of hardness.
Like trying again… even after you swore you’d do better and fell short.

Breaking cycles is messy.
It’s exhausting.
It’s humbling.

And it’s waking up every morning and deciding—
I’ll try again today. 🖤

12/31/2025

Coming in 2026

Growing up in a religious family, when mental health and narcissistic tendencies threaten the safety and livelihood of a family of 7. Readers will see first hand what childhood trauma does to the growing brain, and how it affects traits into adulthood. Follow along as I tell you how I survived my childhood, and then learned the importance of healing to break the cycle.

12/09/2025

Is there a line? Yes.

But I am teaching my children how to voice their feelings and advocate for themselves in an appropriate way. If I don’t allow opportunities for redirection and growth, how will they learn?

11/14/2025

Research shows that many children are sent away in their hardest moments, not because they need space, but because we were taught to fear big emotions.

They’re not being dramatic.
They’re not manipulating.
They’re not giving you a hard time.

They’re having a hard time. And they’re asking, in the only language they have,
“Stay with me.”

Because here’s the truth:

When a child is overwhelmed like yelling, crying, shaking, melting down, their brain isn’t choosing disobedience. It’s losing regulation.

Their mind is learning:
“I don’t know how to handle this feeling.”
“I’m flooded.”
“I need someone calm to help me find my calm.”
“I can’t do this alone.”

And practicing that truth often looks like
clinging to you, screaming in fear or frustration,
or collapsing into a storm they don’t know how to stop.

🧠 According to Siegel & Bryson (No Drama Discipline, 2014), isolating a child during dysregulation disrupts attachment and wires the brain for avoidance; not emotional growth.
When we send a child away during their biggest feelings, the brain doesn’t learn regulation.
It learns shame.

And neuroscience adds:

Regulation is co-regulation first. A young brain calms through proximity, breath, tone, and presence; not isolation. The nervous system cannot learn in fear. It learns in safety.

This means:
Their meltdown is real.
Their fear is real.
Their need for you is real.
Their body is asking for connection, not exile.

And here’s the beautiful part:

Every time a child falls apart and you stay,
not perfectly, just steadily,
their brain wires for resilience.

🧠 Research on attachment and emotional processing shows that calm presence during dysregulation builds emotional intelligence, distress tolerance, and long-term self-control.

But when we confuse connection with “coddling” or equate isolation with discipline,
we meet their vulnerability with distance instead of support. And that’s where wounds grow instead of wisdom.

Why does this matter?

Because the way you respond to your child’s hardest moments becomes the voice they use on themselves one day.

Will that voice say:

“I’m too much. I should hide.
My feelings are dangerous.
I need to be alone when I’m struggling.”

Or will it say:

“I can feel big things. I am safe.
I am not alone. I know how to calm my body.”

Discipline is not about sending them away.
It’s about guiding them through.

So instead of:

“Go to your room.”

Try:

→ “I’m right here.”
→ “You’re safe. We’ll get through this.”
→ “Your feelings are big, and I’m going to help you.”
→ “Let’s breathe together.”

Because emotional resilience doesn’t grow from solitude. It grows from being held in the storm.

You’re not raising a child who fears their feelings. You’re raising a child who can face them.

One moment of staying, one calm breath,
one safe presence at a time. 🤍

11/13/2025

Watching your child fall is not easy. In fact, it’s painful. But I will always be here to catch them.

10/27/2025

THIS is such a powerful reminder. We, as adults, have a hard time regulating our emotions at times. And we are ADULTS. Why do we expect children to be better at it?

Co- regulation and peer modeling are extremely powerful ways to help your child understand and learn these skills.

02/19/2025

A new episode is live! Listen to this with an open mind and let me know your thoughts. 💭

Podcast · Melissa Tabor · Child with extreme behaviors, ADHD, anxiety. Now doing behavior management in a public school system. How to work through it all…

02/08/2025

❤️ For all of us who fear we are TOO MUCH…

01/28/2025

I had a deep talk with someone close last night about feeling like we’ve wasted time. However, I said, I don’t believe you’re wasting time if you’re learning and growing from each experience. That’s the point of life. You’re going to face pain and hard situations- but if you learn and become a better version of yourself- then time was never wasted.

12/29/2024

12/27/2024

Be true to who you are. People are going to talk about you regardless. ✌️ ❤️