Harvey D. Cottrell

02/20/2026

Good-ish: On Witness, Accountability, and the Relief of Not Having to Be “Good”

Lately I’ve been sitting with a question I hear constantly in my work as a therapist and human being:
Am I a good person? Would I choose the way I live? Would I choose myself as a partner?

This reflection explores green flags, red flags, rupture and repair, power, accountability, and what it means to be interruptible—especially for those of us shaped by maleness, whiteness, education, or moral authority.

It’s not about perfection.
It’s about relational safety, self-examination, and becoming someone others can breathe around.

If you’re interested in:
• relationships and dating after divorce
• emotional maturity and accountability
• trauma-informed spirituality
• power, repair, and consent
• therapy as witnessing, not fixing

this piece may resonate.

📖 Read https://open.substack.com/pub/thedeepestyes/p/good-ish-on-witness-accountability?utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web

Harvey Cottrell, LCSW ( The Inner Room)

02/13/2026

02/10/2026

I didn’t expect Charlotte’s Web to keep teaching me things as an adult, but here we are.

I wrote this after thinking about fear, attachment, and what actually helps people heal (hint: it’s not fixes). Sharing gently, in case it meets you where you are.

Harvey Cottrell, LCSW ( The Inner Room)

02/08/2026

I’ve been sitting with how disorienting the attention economy has become—how often “staying informed” leaves us more activated, less oriented, and strangely untethered from one another.

This piece comes out of The Divided Table series and asks a quieter question: not just what is true, but what is this doing to our bodies, our families, and our capacity for dignity? I draw on Alice, algorithmic reality, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy to think about how we find our way home when direction itself feels unreliable.

If you’ve felt dizzy, braced, or exhausted by the feed lately, this one’s for you.

—Harvey

When up is down and down is up in the attention economy

02/08/2026

https://open.substack.com/pub/thedeepestyes/p/the-deep-dive-a-discussion-about?utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web

I’m really glad to share this Deep Dive conversation that explores the heart of my recent three-part series on family rupture, moral injury, and repair in politically charged times.

In this episode, we talk honestly about what it feels like to sit at tables where silence costs you something, why certainty can become a shelter when identity is threatened, and what repair actually looks like when agreement isn’t possible. We move from the nervous system to ethics, from argument to dignity, and offer practical language for staying human without disappearing—or turning the table into a battlefield.

If you’ve been navigating family strain, moral exhaustion, or the quiet grief of holding your conscience alone, this conversation is for you. Feel free to listen, share, or pass it along to someone who might need a steadier way through.

—Harvey

Harvey Cottrell, LCSW The Inner Room

02/07/2026

This is Part III—the culmination of The Divided Table series.

Not reconciliation by force.
Not silence for peace.
But a clear-eyed look at what repair actually requires when families fracture along moral and political lines.

I explore moral injury, boundaries, power, and what it means to tell the smallest truth that keeps us human—especially when agreement may never come.

If you’ve struggled with how to stay honest without becoming cruel, or how to protect yourself without hardening your heart, I hope this offers language—and permission.

Harvey Cottrell, LCSW ( The Inner Room)

02/06/2026

Part II is live.
This reflection examines what lies beneath our certainty and how cognitive dissonance, identity threat, and algorithm-driven silos shape the fracturing of families along political lines.
Not to assign blame. Not to rush the repair.

But to slow the moment down and stay human inside it.
If you’re sitting at a divided table, this one is for you.

The Inner Room - Harvey Cottrell, LCSW

02/06/2026

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about AI—not with fear, but with care.

This piece started when I heard that some AI systems now “talk to themselves” before responding, and it sent me down a familiar rabbit hole: Who decides what “better” means? Where does consent live when intelligence optimizes offstage?
I turn to a few old science-fiction companions (Stargate, Star Trek, The Truman Show) not as predictions, but as parables—ways we’ve been practicing these moral questions for a long time.

This isn’t an argument against technology. It’s a reflection on agency, humility, and the difference between help and control.
If you’re curious about AI, power, consent, or what it means to remain human in an age of very clever tools, I’d love for you to read along.

—Harvey

On Agency in an Age of Thinking Machines

02/05/2026

I’m beginning a three-part series on what happens when politics fractures family belonging—not to argue policy or assign blame, but to name the human cost so many of us are quietly carrying. Part I rests on the lived experience of the divided table: the grief, the confusion, the moments when love and conscience begin to feel at odds. If you’ve felt this rupture in your own family, you’re not alone. I’m grateful to walk this reflection slowly and honestly, and I hope you’ll read with care for yourself and for the people you’re still trying to love.

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Part I of III: Belonging at the Breaking Point

02/05/2026

As many enter a season of reflection, this Inner Room explores the wilderness as a human condition—where instinct speaks loudly, and choice quietly returns.

The Space Between Instinct and Choice: How the Nervous System Shapes Choice in Uncertain Times

The Inner Room

01/31/2026

January in America is not gentle.

This Inner Room is about nervous systems under load, shared grief, and the quiet ways we keep choosing meaning anyway.
If you’re feeling it, you’re not imagining it.

The Inner Room is the place beneath performance and explanation, where you are no longer required to justify your pain or prove your worth.

01/28/2026

This week in The Inner Room, I’m reflecting on grief, stillness, and what it means to bear witness to one another without rushing to fix or explain. Drawing on the wisdom of Viktor Frankl, Dr. Pauline Boss, and Dr. Gina Subia Belton’s practice of “harvesting collective wisdom,” this piece invites us to reclaim space, time, and presence as acts of love—and resistance. If you’re longing for a slower, more human way of being together, you’re welcome here.

On stillness, grief, and learning to be human together