11/12/2025
I attended my 400th birth a few months ago, with this really sweet repeat family. As doulas, we kinda go into second births thinking they’ll be a little more straightforward, maybe faster too. This mom worked hard laboring at home and then arriving at the hospital feeling very good about how much work she had done. Because of her last experience, she didn’t want to know her cervical dilation, but was fine for me or her husband to know. As time went on, the midwife and I suspected baby may be in a posterior position and we started doing things intentionally to see what movement he could do. Again, because of similar experiences last time, this mom was very proactive about positioning at the end of her pregnancy. As we’re into the next day, it becomes clear that her dilation is staying pretty much the same and baby is having trouble moving well.
As mom was open to hearing more about what we were seeing and to give full disclosure for her decision making, she decided that she would need a little more help to get this baby to be born. An epidural and later Pitocin was on board and we continued all the position changes in her bed and with a peanut ball that we could think of. After getting to full dilation and help from the OB resident with manual rotation, he was almost anterior, but not quite. After many hours pushing, it was the realization that no one really saw coming. After a previous vaginal birth (that was really hard fought) this baby just couldn’t come this way.
There are so many emotions that come with this unexpected change. Yes, a cesarean can always happen, because birth is unpredictable, but it is less likely once you’ve had a vaginal birth. We switched gears to process this change. I’m always in awe of moms who are able to take in the reality of the moment, feel their feelings, but also accept that this is what their baby is saying they need. This is what this mom did. She met her baby with strength, surrounded in love, and trusting something that felt a little scary. I have always felt as a doula that I want your birth to feel safe, supported and informed. —> Cont. in Comments