TIANA TEE

11/05/2025

The Drain Audit:
What’s stealing your energy?
5 categories:
1. People who only take
2. Activities you dread
3. “Shoulds” that aren’t real
4. Cluttered spaces
5. Guilt you’re carrying
Pick ONE to release this week.

10/29/2025

The cultural expectation problem.

Why Black women and women of faith struggle most with setting boundaries.

Let me explain:

In many Black families, survival depended on collective unity. You showed up. You sacrificed. You held it together, no matter what. Individual needs came last because the community came first.

That was adaptive. That was necessary. That kept us alive.

But what worked for survival doesn't always work for thriving.

Add faith communities where "forgiveness" is weaponized and "honoring your parents" means accepting mistreatment, and you get this:

An entire generation of high-achieving women who are EXCEPTIONAL at showing up for everyone else and terrible at protecting themselves.

We're taught:
- Boundaries = selfishness
- Self-care = weakness
- Asking for help = failure
- Saying no = betrayal

So we perform. We perfect. We people please.

And we wonder why we're exhausted. We're successful on paper but unfulfilled

Here's what I tell my clients and what I'm finally practicing myself:

You can honor your culture AND evolve beyond what hurt you.
You can respect your elders AND reject toxic patterns.
You can love your community AND protect your peace.

Generational trauma doesn't heal by repeating it. It heals by choosing differently.

Boundaries aren't rejection of your roots. They're protection of your future.

If you grew up in a culture where boundaries were seen as betrayal, this is your permission slip: You're not betraying anyone by choosing yourself.

Who needed to hear this today?

10/27/2025

"How do I set a boundary without feeling guilty?"

You don't.

Here's what no one tells you about boundaries:

You're going to feel guilty at first. That guilt is decades of conditioning telling you that your needs don't matter as much as other people's comfort.

That guilt is your nervous system adjusting to a new normal.

That guilt doesn't mean you're wrong. It means you're doing something different.

So here's the reframe:

Guilt isn't a stop sign. It's growing pains.

The question isn't "How do I avoid guilt?" The question is "What do I do WITH the guilt?"

Here's what:
1. Name it: "I feel guilty because I'm prioritizing myself. That's new. It's uncomfortable. And it's necessary."

2. Fact-check it: "Whose voice is this? Is this MY value system or someone else's expectations?"

3. Act anyway: "I'm allowed to feel guilty AND still honor my boundary."

4. Let time do its work: The more you practice, the less guilt you'll feel. I promise.

Boundaries without guilt only come AFTER you've practiced boundaries WITH guilt.

So if you're feeling bad about that boundary you just set? Good. That means you're doing the work.

Keep going.

What boundary are you practicing this week?

10/26/2025

TAKE A DEEP BREATH BEFORE YOU READ THIS:

Forgiveness doesn't require continued access.

Read that again.

You can:
- Forgive someone AND not invite them back into your life
- Honor your parents AND set boundaries with them
- Love someone from a distance AND protect your peace
- Be a good person AND refuse to be someone's emotional dumping ground
- Release someone with grace AND never look back

The cultural expectation problem hits different when you're a high achiever in Black and faith communities.

We're taught that boundaries = betrayal. That forgiveness means letting people back in. That "real Christians" keep showing up no matter how much it costs.

"But that's family!"
"You need to forgive and move on!"
"Blood is thicker than water!"
"What would Jesus do?"

Here's what that misses:

Forgiveness is for YOU. It releases YOU from carrying their actions.
Boundaries are also for YOU. They protect the peace God gave you to steward.

These two things can AND SHOULD coexist.

Jesus forgave. He also withdrew when people tried to manipulate Him AS WELL AS when He just needed a moment of solitude. He also overturned tables when necessary. He also told even His closest friends "get behind me" when they tried to derail His purpose.

He loved people AND He protected His mission. He lived a self less life while also living a self preserving one!

Boundaries aren't un-Christian. They're wise stewardship of the life and calling you've been given.

So here's your permission slip today:

You can forgive AND still say no. You can heal AND still create distance. You can honor someone's humanity AND still protect yourself from their harm.

Grace doesn't mean giving people unlimited access to hurt you.

What boundary are you finally ready to set?

Comment below. Let's normalize this conversation in faith spaces.

09/12/2025

🔥 THE PRESERVATION METHOD: 3 Energy Protection Strategies
After 7 years of , these are the game-changers:
1️⃣ The Energy Investment Portfolio

60% of emotional energy → You & immediate family
30% → Career/work advancement
10% → Everything else
Protect these percentages like your retirement fund.

2️⃣ The 'Not My Circus' Response
When someone dumps their drama: 'I acknowledge your situation and trust your ability to handle it.' Then redirect or exit.
3️⃣ The Phone Boundary
Put your phone in another room for 1 hour daily. Watch your anxiety decrease and focus increase.
Which one will you try this week? Tag a friend who needs to see this!

09/08/2025

📖 'Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.' - Matthew 11:28
Y'all, even Jesus modeled boundaries. He withdrew from crowds. He said no to demands on His time. He prioritized rest.
Yet somehow we've been taught that godliness means saying yes to everything and everyone.
That's not biblical - that's burnout.
True service flows from overflow, not emptiness.
This , what if we honored our God-given need for rest and boundaries as acts of worship?
Faith leaders: Your congregation needs to see you model healthy boundaries. The church needs emotionally healthy leaders, not martyrs.
How are you honoring your need for rest this month?

09/03/2025

Real talk: Seven years ago, my life looked amazing on paper.
Licensed therapist with a private practice✓
Director of a long standing crisis stabilization program making 6 figures✓
Happily married (at that point) with no kid✓
We served in ministry✓
But I felt... empty. Disconnected. Unfulfilled.
Everyone around me was celebrating my achievements while I felt like I was dying inside, wondering why none of it felt meaningful anymore. I'd literally take my lunch break to cry in my car.
That's when I started - not for others, but for ME. To find my way back to myself.
I realized that saying yes to everyone else's vision of my life meant saying no to my own authentic desires.
Self-care became about reconnection, not just protection.
This month, I'm sharing the exact strategies that helped me move from external success to internal fulfillment - the same framework I now teach in my keynote "Successful and Empty: The Hidden Crisis of High Achievers and How to Break Free."

My life now REQUIRES me to constantly fill my cup first:
Therapy practice
Speaking engagements
Book and magazine columnist deadlines
Special needs single parenting
My own healing journey and more...

If your life looks good from the outside but feels hollow on the inside, this 🧡 is for you.

09/02/2025

Years ago, my ex-husband drew this picture of me as a Naruto character. That scroll on my back? "Your weapon is words," he said. "You use them to heal not harm. They wrap around people and help them see you, themselves, and the situation clearly."

He saw me as someone who uses language to create understanding, to speak life into people. God used him as a prophetic voice as I didn't see it then but I do today.

But being a mirror for people isn't easy. Not everyone is ready for what they see reflected back ..the good they can't accept or the parts they're not ready to face. Love isn't always welcomed. Truth isn't always comfortable.

Having a way with words is a gift, but heavy is the head that wears the crown. There are days when you see so clearly and others aren't ready to see, when you can speak life but people aren't ready to live it.

Still, I wouldn't trade this gift. In a world that often tears down, I get to build up. The scroll stays on my back. The work continues.

09/01/2025

📘 FACEBOOK
Hello September! 🍂 is here.
This month's newsletter drops the truth about feeling successful but empty.
Ready to break free? https://wix.to/7La47JL

With Light and Love, Tiana Tee

08/26/2025

💼 "Our team feels more connected and productive than we have in years."
That's what a client said after our 3-month leadership development intensive.
Here's what we didn't do:
❌ Generic team-building exercises
❌ One-size-fits-all workshops
❌ Surface-level motivation talks
Here's what we DID:
✅ Assessed their unique team dynamics
✅ Built emotional intelligence skills specific to their challenges
✅ Created sustainable mental wellness practices for high-pressure environments
✅ Developed communication strategies that actually work
As a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Corporate Consultant, I bridge the gap between mental health and high performance.
The outcome? Teams that don't just work well together—they thrive together.
Is your organization ready to transform workplace culture through mental wellness and leadership development?
Let's connect to discuss how I can help your team thrive.