Valerie McDonnell, LCSW

03/13/2026

Vi**ra might help increase your blood flow, but it doesn’t fix these 3 issues that can prevent an er****on or the ability to maintain one:

High stress and anxiety
Pressure to perform during s*x
Your nervous system stuck in fight or flight mode

If you want to learn if these issues could be impacting your er****ons, listen to Episode 9 of The RISE to Intimacy podcast today!

03/04/2026

Maybe it’s low libido, or maybe it’s your unmet attachment needs showing up when thinking about being intimate with your partner.

If you become too overwhelmed or anxious when initiating s*x with your partner or if you shut down and feel unable to be vulnerable during s*x, then check out Episode 8 of The RISE to Intimacy podcast where I discuss what attachment needs are and ways to prevent them from sabotaging your s*x life.

🎙️ Listen to the latest episode of The RISE to Intimacy podcast on Apple, Spotify, or your favorite podcast platform.

02/25/2026

02/25/2026

Episode 7 of the RISE to Intimacy podcast is now live! In this episode, I break down what’s happening underneath the surface of unresolved arguments, by discussing the pursue/withdraw cycle.

I also discuss 4 trauma-informed strategies I use with my clients to help couples break the pursue/withdraw loop:

❤️ Regulate before you relate because you can’t resolve an argument when you or your partner are living inside a dysregulated body.

❤️ Name the pattern, instead of blaming your partner.

❤️ Say what you’re protecting, not what you’re fighting about. Underneath the fight is usually fear.

❤️ Create a repair ritual. You can ask your partner, “What would help you feel a little closer to me right now?”

If you think you may be stuck in the pursue/withdraw cycle, then this episode is for you.

And if you’d like to get help with the unresolved disagreements in your relationship, then click the link in my bio and head over to my website where you can book a consultation with me.

02/22/2026

Quick reality check if you feel stuck in therapy:

1) You didn’t start when it was “small.”

Most people come in after years of disconnection—so of course it takes time to rebuild safety.

2) You’re doing therapy in session… but not in real life.

Awareness is the first step. Practice is what creates change.

3) You’re expecting quick relief from deep patterns.

The first sessions are often about understanding the “why” beneath the conflict—then we change the “how.”

Therapy is cumulative.

The small shifts you repeat become the relationship you live.

*xtherapy *xtherapyforcouples

02/18/2026

If you’ve been trying to “fix” your s*x life with tips, scheduling s*x, or more effort… but you’re still walking on eggshells, avoiding the real conversations, or pretending you’re fine, then this is your wake up call.

Because avoiding the hard conversations doesn’t protect the relationship.

It protects the pattern.

The truth you keep swallowing doesn’t disappear. It shows up as distance, resentment, and low desire.

So tonight, ask yourself this:

“What’s one thing you’ve been holding back… and what would make it feel safer to say?”

🎧 Want more support? Listen to The RISE to Intimacy Podcast on your favorite podcast platform.

And if you’re thinking , “We need more than another conversation, we need a plan,” I offer a free 30-minute consultation call to help you get clear on what’s actually keeping you stuck and what to do next. *xtherapy *xtherapist

02/17/2026

If you’ve been saying yes to keep the peace, your body learns to shut down. Today’s episode is for the people pleasers who are ready to stop self-abandoning and start embracing pleasure once again!

02/17/2026

People pleasers…if s*x feels like another obligation, you’re not alone.

Desire can’t thrive when you’re performing, appeasing, or pushing through to avoid it.

In today’s episode, I share the reasons why people pleasing behavior begins, how it can turn s*x into pressure, and some practical steps you can take to rebuild desire through boundary setting, nervous system safety, and micro-moments of pleasure.

🎙️ Episode 6 is live now on Apple, Spotify, and your favorite podcast platforms!

*xtherapy

02/14/2026

Still need a Valentine’s gift? This one’s completely free! ****is

02/12/2026

A lot of couples don’t fall out of love.

They fall into logistics mode.

In Episode 5 of The RISE to Intimacy Podcast, I share the RISE model - the framework I use to help couples rebuild emotional closeness and s*xual connection after things have felt off for a long time.

Because here’s the truth:

When your nervous system is overwhelmed, desire doesn’t disappear because something is wrong with you.

It shuts down because your body is in protection mode.

If you’ve been feeling more like roommates instead of lovers, or if s*x now feels awkward and you’re unsure how to start reconnecting, then this episode is for you.

🎙️ Listen now to Episode 5!

*xtherapy

02/03/2026

Secure attachment isn’t built overnight.

It’s built through consistency.

When your partner shows up steady, attuned, and responsive, your nervous system starts to relax.

Not because everything is perfect - but because it’s predictable and safe.

That’s how trust is relearned.

That’s how intimacy becomes possible again.

🎙️ Episode 4 breaks down what secure attachment actually looks like in real relationships - and why nervous system regulation matters more than most couples realize.

Listen now!

🔗 Link in bio

02/01/2026

In Episode 3 of The RISE to Intimacy Podcast, I break down:

Sexless relationships

The difference between consent and coercion

Why emotional regulation is the missing piece no one talks about

How avoidance, fear, resentment, and pressure quietly kill desire

Healing s*xual disconnection doesn’t start with s*x.

It starts with safety.

🎙️ Episode 3 is live now!

*xlessmarriage *xtherapy