Julie Baron and Associates

11/13/2025

Your concern is completely understandable. It can be startling and upsetting to discover that your barely teenage son has been exposed to explicit content that his developing brain is not yet ready to process. First, it may help to know that it is more common than not for pre-teens and teens to encounter po*******hy online. The po*******hy industry generates billions of dollars each year and is highly motivated to make its content easily accessible — including to children and adolescents. Unfortunately, parents should expect that their kids will come across sexual content at some point, whether intentionally or accidentally, and be prepared to respond. Even better, opening these conversations proactively can help teens know what to do when they encounter inappropriate material. Below are several strategies that can support both educating your teen and limiting access to harmful content online.

Avoid Blame and Shame

Anticipate that exposure to po*******hy is likely at some point in adolescence. This perspective helps you respond with calm rather than panic. Be honest about your concern while validating your teen’s natural curiosity. Many teens encounter explicit content accidentally, and their developing bodies may react in ways that make further exploration tempting. They are not at fault for the pervasive availability of po*******hy, yet they still need guidance in making healthy, developmentally appropriate choices. Some teens may even feel unsettled or violated by unexpected content, while still feeling curious and unsure how to stop.

Avoid broad punitive reactions, such as removing all technology. This often leads to conflict and discourages teens from being open when online problems arise. Instead, explain that you will temporarily limit access while exploring protective measures.

Take Reasonable Measures to Block Access

Let your teen know that you are taking time to reassess online safety and implement tools that can help prevent exposure to inappropriate material. Research filtering software and parental controls that align with your family’s needs, and be transparent about what you are monitoring to maintain trust. Teens may test boundaries, so discuss expectations and consequences in advance. Reinforce that your goal is safety, not punishment, and that you want to support them in developing healthy, respectful relationships. Install filters, safe-search features, and device-level controls on home Wi-Fi and individual devices. These tools are not perfect but do reduce both accidental and impulsive access.

Establish age-appropriate family guidelines, such as keeping devices out of bedrooms at night. This supports both healthy sleep and safer digital habits. Be open about the safeguards you choose so your teen understands the purpose behind them. If they attempt to circumvent limits, approach the issue collaboratively—clarifying expectations and reinforcing the shared goal of maintaining safety and wellbeing.

Educate on Healthy Sexual Behavior and Relationships

Explain that po*******hy is not representative of real, caring relationships. It often portrays exaggerated or degrading behaviors that do not reflect intimacy grounded in communication, empathy, and consent. Help your teen understand that their brain is still developing and that repeated exposure to explicit material can influence expectations and arousal patterns in ways that may not serve them later in real relationships.

Share accurate, age-appropriate information about bodies, emotions, boundaries, and healthy sexual development. When speaking with my own boys, I explained how frequent exposure to p**n can “train” the brain toward more extreme stimulation, which can affect real-life experiences and affect their body’s sexual response down the road. Offer resources and let your teen know they can come to you with questions. If they feel uncomfortable discussing these topics with a parent, help them identify another trusted adult they can talk to.

Leave the Door Open for Further Conversations

Acknowledge and appreciate your teen’s willingness to engage in a challenging conversation. Remind them that this is just one of many discussions they will have as they grow, make decisions, and learn from mistakes. Teens develop independence through guidance paired with reasonable opportunities for trial and error.

By staying calm and connected during difficult moments, you strengthen your relationship and make it more likely that your teen will come to you in the future. Balancing environmental safeguards with trust and open communication helps them build judgment, resilience, and know you are there as a valued resource.

💬Do you have a question? Drop your questions in the comments or send us a message — they might be featured in a future post!

⚠️ Disclaimer: The information shared in this series is for educational purposes only and does not constitute mental health care or a therapeutic relationship. For individualized support, please consult with a licensed mental health professional.

📢CTA: Need more tools to de-escalate arguments while keeping connection? Explore related tips
on the Julie Baron & Associates website https://lnkd.in/dRBckHQp and in Julie’s Psychology Today blog https://lnkd.in/ejbVzP7E

11/11/2025

Learn more about therapist Julie Baron, licensed clinical social worker, who has a private practice in Rockville, MD by reading VoyageBaltimore, 'Daily Inspiration: Meet Julie Baron.' This article discusses Julie’s interest in therapy, the support services she offers, publications she’s written, and her dedication to training professionals and educating parents and teens.

Read more here: https://voyagebaltimore.com/interview/daily-inspiration-meet-julie-baron

11/06/2025

Our 21-year-old daughter is living at home and seems stuck. She’s tried school a few times, picks up gig work here and there, and spends most days sleeping late and staying up at night. We’ve encouraged her to make plans and move forward, but nothing seems to stick. We know she’s bright and capable — how can we help her get unstuck?

This may be one of the hardest challenges parents face. After years of making sure homework gets done, carpooling to practices, and helping your child reach for every opportunity, it’s heartbreaking to watch your capable young adult seem lost, unmotivated, or uninterested in building their life.

Whether your child struggled through school and needed support or was once self-driven and ambitious, seeing them spin their wheels can leave parents feeling helpless. And while that feeling is miserable, it’s important to remember: the next steps must come from them.

When to Bring in Professional Support

If your young adult isn’t engaged in work, education, or a treatment program addressing the barriers to independence, it’s time to bring in professional help. As unhappy as you may feel as a parent, they are often more unhappy — stuck in confusion, shame, or fear.

It’s human nature to move toward independence and autonomy. When that drive stalls, it usually means something deeper is in the way — anxiety, depression, executive functioning challenges, or developmental delays. A therapist or other health professionals who understand this stage can help assess what’s happening and support small, meaningful steps forward, while parents focus on managing their own emotions and maintaining balance in their lives.

1. Validate That This Is Hard for You

Parents deserve to acknowledge what’s real: anger, frustration, sadness, guilt, even shame. Watching your young adult struggle while others seem to thrive can feel dejecting.

Reaching a place of acceptance — that this is where your child is right now — is painful but freeing. Acceptance doesn’t mean approval; it means acknowledging reality so you can respond effectively and compassionately.

2. Know What’s in Your Control (and What’s Not)

Imagine you and your child are each driving your own cars. You can move only your car — not theirs. Trying to drive theirs from yours will wear you out and won’t get them moving.

Radically accept that your child will move when they’re ready. Overinvesting in their outcomes can actually slow progress. You want their internal conflict — the tension between being stuck and wanting to function as an adult — to drive change, not conflict between them and you.

When the motivation comes from within, they experience real growth: tolerating discomfort, building competence, and gaining confidence. That’s what creates momentum.

3. Create Accountability and Structure

Parents do have control over expectations and the environment. If your child is in treatment, collaborate with their providers to determine reasonable expectations.

Work together to establish clear agreements — starting with the basics:
- Daily self-care (showering, brushing teeth)
- Household chores or contributions
- Small acts of productivity — helping a neighbor, running errands, exercising, taking a class, or gig work (DoorDash, Instacart, etc.)

Anything that involves effort, purpose, or movement counts — except sleeping, scrolling, or endless gaming.

If your child refuses to engage in conversation, encourage them to discuss these topics with a therapist or another trusted adult. Increase expectations gradually, matching each new step to their demonstrated ability to manage distress.

If They Refuse to Participate: Two Constructive Paths Forward

1) Lead with authenticity and connection. Return to the human relationship first. Express genuine care and empathy: acknowledge that you know they’re struggling and that you want to understand what feels hard right now. Reaffirm your family’s values — that contributing to the household and community matters, and that doing so builds resilience and distress tolerance. Conversations grounded in compassion rather than frustration can reopen trust and communication.

2) Establish thoughtful, planned limits. If progress remains stalled, you may need to set clear boundaries around resources such as phone or gaming access, car use, or spending money until your young adult is ready to take steps forward. This approach works best when it’s planned, consistent, and communicated in advance — not reactive or driven by emotion. Give them notice and genuine opportunities to make healthy choices before implementing limits. Done calmly and predictably, it reinforces accountability without rupturing the relationship.

Remember: patience and consistency are your allies, and time — along with ongoing brain development — is on your side.

For young adults with neurodivergence or lifelong support needs, begin gradually shifting the role of daily support from parent to trained professional.

4. Toggle Between Acceptance and Change

When your child starts to make even small efforts, resist the urge to immediately ask what’s next. Progress — especially fragile, early progress — can easily stall under pressure.

Instead, be a cheerleader, not a critic. Offer encouragement, express faith in their abilities, and remind them that you’re there for support if they want it. When they do open up about plans, start with curiosity:

“It sounds like you’ve been thinking a lot about your next steps — what’s on your mind?”

Ask if they’d like your input before offering ideas. If they say yes, share them calmly and without attachment to the outcome. Finally, watch for your own internal judgments. Even silent “shoulds” (“They should be able to…”) can interfere with the deep patience this process requires.

The Bottom Line

Your young adult’s journey toward independence may not look linear or fast. But growth is happening — often quietly — beneath the surface. Your role is to hold steady: compassionate, consistent, and boundaried.

You can’t drive their car — but you can keep yours steady on the road, modeling resilience, accountability, and faith that they will, in time, begin to drive their own.

💬Do you have a question? Drop your questions in the comments or send us a message — they might be featured in a future post!

⚠️ Disclaimer: The information shared in this series is for educational purposes only and does not constitute mental health care or a therapeutic relationship. For individualized support, please consult with a licensed mental health professional.

📢CTA: Need more tools to de-escalate arguments while keeping connection? Explore related tips
on the Julie Baron & Associates website www.juliebaronandassociates.com and in Julie’s
Psychology Today blog https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/parenting-teens-through-connection

11/04/2025

Make sure to attend the Nov.14th training with Julie Baron, MSW, LCSW-C, LICSW to learn how to enhance engagement for therapy and earn 1.5 CEs.

Register: https://learning.newporthealthcare.com/catalog/product.xhtml?eid=70231&utm_source=email&xbc-ao-utm_source=email

10/30/2025

"Our 14 year old used to seem so happy. The past few weeks they come home from school or practice and go right to their room. When we try to ask them what’s wrong and talk with them, they just shrug their shoulders. We can feel something is wrong but don’t know how to help when they are pushing us away. What can we do?"

Building Connection When Your Teen Withdraws

It’s natural to worry when your teen becomes quiet and withdrawn. Adolescence brings big emotional, social, and physical changes that can make it harder for teens to express what they’re feeling. The good news is that your efforts to connect—even when your child seems to push you away—still matter deeply. Research consistently shows that a parent’s calm, consistent presence supports emotional resilience and mental health.

Start with Presence and Patience

You may not need to know the details of what’s wrong right away. Instead, focus on showing that you’re available and care. Sit nearby, bring a snack, or say, “I’m here if you feel like talking later.” Your quiet presence communicates safety and love more than a dozen questions might. If you think there is any reason to worry about their immediate safety, ask them if they feel safe. Sometimes knowing the situation does not pose imminent danger makes it easier for parents to take a step back and allow space while remaining available. If your teen indicates feeling unsafe, added questions and using crisis resources may be needed.

Avoid the “Interrogation Trap”

When teens are overwhelmed, too many questions can feel like pressure. Replace “What’s wrong?” with observations:

“You seem like you’ve had a long day.”
“You seem more quiet than usual.”
“I noticed you went right up to your room when you got home.”
Then gently inquire and offer:

· “Is there anything you want to talk about?”

· “Can I bring you a snack?”

· “Want to watch a show or walk the dog with me?”

· “I’m around if you change your mind.”

These small moments can reopen the door to connection over time.

Offer Emotional Space with Consistency

It’s okay if your teen doesn’t talk right away. Stay consistent—check in daily in low-pressure ways. They’ll notice your reliability even if they don’t show it. Predictability helps them feel secure enough to share when they’re ready.

Model Calm Curiosity

When they do open up, listen more than you speak. Reflect back what you hear (“That sounds really tough”) instead of offering quick solutions. This builds trust and shows that you can handle their emotions without judgment and while modeling emotional regulation.

Watch for Signs That Extra Support May Help

If your teen’s withdrawal is accompanied by major changes—sleep or appetite disruption, loss of interest in activities, declining grades, or hopelessness—it may be time to reach out for additional support. A school counselor or mental-health professional can help assess what’s going on and provide guidance. If there are concerns about risk of harm to self or others, it is always a good idea to have a mental health professional or crisis counselor evaluate their risk.

Remember

Connection doesn’t always begin with words and is not a situation specific proposition. The goal is to build trust so they become more responsive and even reach out proactively over time. Building connected relationships often start with quiet presence, gentle consistency, and patient understanding. You’re showing respect for their needs while communicating, “You’re not alone. I’m here.”

10/28/2025

Teenagers often seek acceptance and belonging while trying to find their place in the world. Parents and guardians can help teens by having connections which positively impacts their mental health. Read more below to find out ways to connect with your teenager. This article was written for parents by a parent!

Read more below: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/parenting-teens-through-connection/202504/5-powerful-ways-to-boost-teen-mental-health

Research repeatedly indicates that connected relationships promote mental health particularly for adolescent. Learn how parents can play a powerful role.

10/24/2025

Want more mental health resources? See our latest Mental Health Connections Newsletter and subscribe!

Connecting you to valuable resources 😊

10/23/2025

"Our high school junior set the bar high for himself — six academic classes, three APs, and band practice every day. He’s overwhelmed, falling behind, and shutting us out when we try to help. He’s withdrawn, spending hours in bed, missing school, and seems sad and frozen. What can we do?"

I often meet teens who set high expectations for themselves and then hit a wall when effort and pressure outpace capacity. It can feel confusing and defeating for them when what once came easily now requires more than they can give. When teens feel overwhelmed, they often retreat. “I’ll figure it out” may really mean, “I don’t know how to start, and I don’t want to disappoint you.” What looks like defiance is often shame or fear of failure.

Teens build resilience by working through discomfort and discovering their limits. This moment can become a valuable turning point—an opportunity either to strengthen newly developing academic muscles or to reassess whether expectations need adjusting to create a healthier balance. Both paths are worthy of support and praise, as each provides important opportunities for growth and learning.

Parents naturally want to step in and rescue, but true growth happens when we allow struggle to become the teacher. Your role is to stay connected—express empathy, offer curiosity, and let them know you believe they can navigate this challenge. Focus first on connection, not correction. Let him know you see how hard he’s working and how hard this feels. Offer calm curiosity: “It seems like everything feels too heavy right now—what part feels hardest?” Sometimes just being understood helps a teen take the next step. If they’re not yet ready to accept help, wait and keep the door open. The learning is in the struggle—and trusting them to work through it and cope with the outcomes is part of helping them grow.

Think of healthy struggle like “good hurting” after a workout. You feel it in your muscles, it is uncomfortable and tolerable enough to continue your day-to-day functioning. Struggle, by definition unpleasant, in the interest of growth, is healthy and helps build stress tolerance and endurance for greater challenges ahead. When struggling leads to more persistent and pervasive avoidance, isolation, loss of joy, safety concerns, or physical complaints, it’s no longer just “academic pressure” or healthy growth. These are signs your teen’s emotional wellbeing needs attention.

If he continues to withdraw, misses school, or shows signs of sadness or hopelessness, it’s time to bring in extra support. Start with the school counselor, your pediatrician or a therapist experienced with teens who can help assess what may be at play and offer recommendations for intervention.

Thanks for your question! ~ Julie

💬Do you have a question? Drop your questions in the comments or send us a message — they might be featured in a future post!

⚠️ Disclaimer: The information shared in this series is for educational purposes only and does not constitute mental health care or a therapeutic relationship. For individualized support, please consult with a licensed mental health professional.

📢CTA: Need more tools to de-escalate arguments while keeping connection? Explore related tips
on the Julie Baron & Associates website www.juliebaronandassociates.com and in Julie’s
Psychology Today blog https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/parenting-teens-through-connection

10/21/2025

Caretakers/parents need to try to allow their teens to manage their emotions, even though they might want to jump in to resolve the problem. Learn the benefits of caretakers investing in teens' success below. This article was written for parents/caretakers, by a parent!

Read more below:

Parents and supportive adults want the teens in their care to be successful. It can feel tempting to over-manage their efforts. That is not what teens need to achieve.

10/16/2025

"My 15 year old used to be so sweet. Over the past few months, it’s like everything I say irritates her. Even a simple reminder to pick her clothes up off the bathroom floor turns into a screaming argument. Why is she all of a sudden so disrespectful when I do so much for her? I want to tell her she is being spoiled and overreacting but I know that leads to more arguing. How should I be responding?"

It can be incredibly painful for parents when their once-sweet teen suddenly seems prickly, reactive, and ready to argue about anything—even something as simple as asking them to pick clothes off the bathroom floor. When our kids come at us with attitude, it feels disrespectful, especially when we do so much for them. But what often looks like entitlement or defiance is usually emotional overload.

Your daughter is likely as confused by her reactions as you are. Teens don’t sit around plotting screaming matches. Their emotional responses are fast, intense, and often impulsive. When we, as parents, interpret their outbursts as personal attacks, it’s easy to fire back—and suddenly everyone’s yelling. The problem is, when we react with judgment or criticism, we actually shift the focus away from their behavior and give them something new to be angry about. Now the conversation isn’t about clothes on the floor—it’s about how “unfair” or “mean” we were. Connection gets lost, emotions escalate, and the original issue goes unresolved.

In moments like these, it helps to pause and get clear on your goals. Most parents want two things: to hold their teen accountable for both the way they communicate and the original task at hand. But to do that effectively, we have to slow down the emotional spiral—not fuel it. Before responding, consider what may be happening for your teen. If she’s already feeling overwhelmed, criticized, or pressured throughout her day, your reminder—however reasonable—may land like the final straw. Teens are wired to go on emotional defense quickly; it’s instinct, not calculation.

This is where a simple but powerful DBT tool comes in: STOP. Stop before reacting. Take a step back—even briefly—to give space. Observe what’s happening (your emotions, hers, the intensity in the room). Then Proceed mindfully, choosing a response that keeps the door open rather than slamming it shut. You can still address the issue—just not in the heat of emotional fire

Remember, during adolescence, the emotional center of the brain (the amygdala) is in overdrive while the part responsible for impulse control and thoughtful decision-making (the prefrontal cortex) is still under construction. That doesn’t excuse disrespect, but it does explain reactivity. These moments are actually opportunities to model emotional regulation and guide our teens toward it.

And what if your teen refuses to come back and talk once things calm down? Don’t chase—create a natural moment for repair. Parents still control access to resources, and sooner or later your teen will need something—your time, a ride, money, a favor. That’s your moment to reopen the conversation calmly: “I’m glad to help. Before I do, I want to circle back to what happened earlier.” Keep it short, neutral, and nonjudgmental. Hear her out. Share your perspective. Make a simple plan. Then move on.

You’re not giving in—you’re building something more important than compliance: a connected, respectful relationship where accountability and empathy can exist together.

Thanks for your question! ~ Julie

💬Do you have a question? Drop your questions in the comments or send us a message — they might be featured in a future post!

⚠️ Disclaimer: The information shared in this series is for educational purposes only and does not constitute mental health care or a therapeutic relationship. For individualized support, please consult with a licensed mental health professional.

📢CTA: Need more tools to de-escalate arguments while keeping connection? Explore related tips
on the Julie Baron & Associates website www.juliebaronandassociates.com and in Julie’s
Psychology Today blog https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/parenting-teens-through-connection

10/14/2025

In preparation for our Ask Julie series launching Thursday, Julie Baron, LCSW-C, presents '5 Guiding Assumptions for Parenting Teens Through Connection' to share her perception based on 30+ years as a therapist and parent.

💬Do you have a question for Ask Julie? Drop your questions in the comments or send us a message — they might be featured in a future post!

⚠️ Disclaimer: The information shared in this series is for educational purposes only and does not constitute mental health care or a therapeutic relationship. For individualized support, please consult with a licensed mental health professional.

CTA: Need more tools to de-escalate arguments while keeping connection? Explore related tips on the Julie Baron & Associates website www.juliebaronandassociates.com and in Julie’s
Psychology Today blog https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/parenting-teens-through-connection

10/09/2025

Technology and social media are a big part of daily life. Being a teenager can be challenging due to the many facets of social media. This article discusses how understanding the risks of social media and smartphones allows parents to make the most informed decisions. This article was written for parents by a parent!

Read more below:

Parents are understandably confused about how to manage smartphone and social media use with their pre-teens, teens, and emerging adults. Here are some valuable tips.