Young & Well

11/29/2025

Behavior Tracking Charts: Kids don’t like them and they solve NO problems.

I have an endless supply of these behavior tracking charts in my collection. Despite all the advances in neuroscience, schools continue to have two antiquated go-to interventions to try and control a child’s behavior: Token economies and behavior tracking charts.

The picture illustrates two different examples of behavior tracking charts. In each of the examples, the children either participate in filling it out or it’s reviewed with them.

I speak about these charts in my workshops and present collaborative alternatives that make durable changes in behavior. There are MANY reasons why these behavior charts are harmful, but there’s one criteria that should warrant immediate shredding of these awful, subjective, data-mining tools.

If you see a criterion that says “I need to work harder” or “did I try my best”, that is especially demoralizing to a child. It needs to stop.
These tracking charts are often used with students receiving special education services. To assume that a neurodivergent child, or a struggling child, only needs to “work harder”, or they didn’t “try their best”, is so damaging!

Here’s the lens shift that's so desperately needed:

ALWAYS assume they are working as hard as they can! (Even if you don’t believe it)

ALWAYS assume that they are trying their best!

Kids do well IF THEY CAN!

So often, I hear justification of these charts as a “Tier 2 intervention” or that “the kid likes them”. That's disingenuous. The kid likes them if it’s all smiley faces and they get their landfill fodder prize. If that’s the case, you wouldn’t need the chart.

Here’s what the kids actually think of them when they’re telling a safe person and not an authority figure they are just “yes-ing”.

“They make me sad”

“They’re not fair"

“I don’t even care”

“I was bad”

Children rely on adults to show them love, support and compassion. We have to recognize that this is not OK and we have to do better!

Tear up these tracking charts and replace them with The Collaborative and Proactive Solutions Model or other collaborative approaches that show kids we are here to HELP THEM, not make them feel terrible when they struggle.

I sense a new infographic coming. Do you have an example of a damaging behavior tracking chart? Have thoughts on this? Please feel free to share in the comments.

08/19/2025

By Lenore Skenazy, Zach Rausch, and Jonathan Haidt

07/14/2025

Presume competence ♥️

04/11/2025

: An Occupational Therapist’s Perspective on Childhood Shame

As therapists, we witness daily how childhood shame becomes embedded in the nervous system. When a child becomes overwhelmed in our office, we’re not seeing their authentic self—we’re observing their protective response to internal distress.

In my practice, I’ve found that children carry the weight of labels assigned to them: “difficult,” “sensitive,” “stubborn.” These given indentities follow them like shadows, influencing how they see themselves and how others respond to them.

Therapeutic presence means recognizing that a child’s dysregulation isn’t personal, permanent, or defining. It’s a momentary state reflecting their internal experience—often one of shame, fear, or overwhelm.

When we respond with curiosity rather than judgment, with connection rather than consequence, we create neurological pathways that teach children their worth exists independently of their behavior. And it unlocks their capacities for doing the things they want and need to do in daily life. For OTPs, we have to start with the regulation, before we can start with the doing.

How children (and adults!) act isn’t who they are.

The most transformative moments in therapy occur when a child realizes they won’t be held hostage to their past actions—that each session offers a fresh opportunity to be seen for who they truly are beneath the protective armor.

Our role as clinicians isn’t just to address the “behavior” but to help children reconnect with their authentic selves—the creative, joyful, resilient beings that shame has taught to hide.

In this sacred work, we become the responsive caregivers who demonstrate that healing begins when we separate the doing from the being.

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04/09/2025

“As psychologist Michael Thompson notes in "Raising Cain" (2000), boys typically process emotions and build connections through side-by-side activity rather than face-to-face conversation.”

In our increasingly digital age, opportunities for children—especially boys—to engage in real-world exploration, measured risk-taking, and face-to-face social interaction have diminished dramatically. Our new Forest Guardians group is designed to provide real-world experiences that support growt...

04/08/2025

Childhood Adversity Weakens Brain Connectivity, But Support Protects It

A new study links early-life adversity to widespread reductions in white matter connectivity across the adolescent brain, which may hinder cognitive development.

White matter, the brain’s communication infrastructure, is critical for language, reasoning, and problem-solving.

Researchers found that lower white matter quality was especially pronounced in regions associated with mental arithmetic and language processing.

These brain changes were strongly associated with childhood exposure to risk factors such as economic hardship, interpersonal adversity, and neighborhood disadvantage.

Importantly, protective social factors—like positive parenting and strong neighborhood cohesion—appeared to buffer against some of these negative effects.

The findings underscore the importance of supportive early environments in promoting brain and cognitive development.

03/28/2025

"When we remove normal, healthy risks from childhood," Haidt writes, "we paradoxically increase anxiety by teaching children they are fragile and the world is dangerous." This protective approach, while well-intentioned, has left many children—particularly boys—without the experiences needed to develop resilience and confidence.

According to research published in the Journal of Pediatrics, children who engage primarily in screen-based activities show lower levels of emotional intelligence and struggle more with real-world social situations than those who regularly engage in active, physical play with others."

In our increasingly digital age, opportunities for children—especially boys—to engage in real-world exploration, measured risk-taking, and face-to-face social interaction have diminished dramatically. Our new Forest Guardians group is designed to provide real-world experiences that support growt...

03/28/2025

Why should virtual worlds have all the fun? Give your child the chance to take meaningful risks in the real world.

Calling all boys ages 9-11! Join us for Forest Guardians this spring!

Forest Guardians, we need your help!

The Forest Guardians series follows a group of young heroes who discover they are destined to protect the magical woodland from encroaching darkness. It is a managed risk-taking adventure group that brings new challenges, puzzles, and missions that develop teamwork, problem-solving, and confidence each week. The Forest Guardians will be guided by an Occupational Therapist and assistant.

Each weekly one-hour session builds on previous adventures and will challenge players to:

-- Develop social comfort in an environment with peers who have the same interests

-- Solve increasingly complex puzzles

-- Take appropriate risks in a supervised setting

Who are the Forest Guardians?

This group is for boys ages 9-11 who may be functioning in their school environment but having more difficulty in one or more of the following ways:

-- In the home/family setting

-- Occupying their time with activities other than screens

-- Emotional regulation

-- Connecting with peers

-- Taking risks in daily life, other than during their video games

Adventurers should be able to:

-- Be unattended for brief periods of time during supervised outdoor activities (no side quests)

-- Possess basic self-regulation skills in a group setting

-- Follow structured expectations and rules within a creative environment

-- Work cooperatively with peers with minimal adult intervention

-- Handle appropriate levels of independence during guided exploration

-- Be comfortable participating in activities that move between different outdoor areas

-- Manage mild frustration when facing challenges or puzzles

Link for more info in comments!

03/18/2025

12/31/2024

Happy New Year! We can dream!

09/30/2024

It's good to keep in mind that children manage the best they can. We can help them learn by seeing and understanding them, nurturing calming relationships and peaceful environments.

Thanks to for sharing Dr. Bruce Perry's important reminder.

09/27/2024

Young people who struggle with self-esteem and self-concept can go deeper into disconnection with themselves and their caregivers when they engage in competitive games or activities against the people they love or those who love them. This can also be created when caregivers focus on "winning," sometimes accidentally or unconsciously, based on their own childhoods. One way to enjoy occupying your time with games and board games without creating more division is to play cooperative games and bring the relationship together through shared goals or direction. We've compiled a list here for you just in time for rainy days or cold weather when it isn't safe to be outside! 💕

Cooperative games have you and your kids working together toward a goal, offering fun family time without pitting you against each other. Perfect for family game night or one on one time, you’ll find something for any age!