Stable Minded, LLC

10/27/2025

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/17edFhSjCe/?mibextid=wwXIfr

10/01/2025

HiddenBurnout
There is a kind of exhaustion that does not come from working too many hours or carrying too many tasks. It comes from holding yourself together when you feel like falling apart.
On the outside, you look steady. You meet deadlines. You smile when people ask how you are. You keep your voice even, your posture strong, your responsibilities met.
But underneath, there is strain. A quiet, unspoken tension that builds with every unexpressed feeling, every hidden worry, every “I’m fine” that is not really true.
This is the hidden burnout. Not the collapse that comes from overwork, but the slow erosion that comes from pretending to be okay.

Why Holding It Together Feels Safer
Many of us learned early that showing cracks is risky. Maybe you grew up in a family where strength was expected. Maybe you worked in environments where mistakes were punished. Maybe you simply absorbed the message that vulnerability equals weakness.
So you built a mask. You taught yourself to hold things in. To smile when you wanted to cry. To say yes when you meant no. To keep moving forward, no matter what.
At first, it feels like control. Like resilience. But over time, it stops protecting you and starts suffocating you.
Because the truth is, strength without release is not strength. It is strain.

The Cost You Do Not See
Holding it all together looks admirable. People may even praise you for it. But there is a hidden cost.
You lose energy. Suppressing emotions is work. Your nervous system burns fuel keeping the mask in place.
You lose clarity. When everything is managed internally, you stop knowing what you really feel.
You lose connection. People cannot meet the real you if the real you is always hidden.
You lose peace. Every unspoken emotion becomes a quiet background noise, leaving you restless even in silence.
This is why the hidden burnout feels so confusing. From the outside, nothing looks wrong. Inside, everything feels heavy.

Why This Burnout Is Hard to Admit
Unlike physical exhaustion, emotional exhaustion has no clear marker. There is no obvious injury, no clear moment of collapse. Instead, it shows up as irritability, brain fog, numbness, or a constant tiredness you cannot explain.
And because it is invisible, you might dismiss it. You tell yourself to push through. You say other people have it harder. You believe you should be able to handle it.
But ignoring the hidden burnout does not make it disappear. It only deepens the fatigue until it becomes impossible to hide.

Letting Yourself Exhale
The first step is not fixing everything. It is giving yourself permission to stop pretending.
That might look like admitting you are tired without apologizing for it. Or saying no to a request you cannot handle. Or telling someone close to you what you are actually feeling instead of brushing it off.
Sometimes it is as simple as letting yourself cry when you need to. Or sitting in silence without forcing yourself to smile. These are not signs of weakness. They are acts of release.
Because release is not optional. It is the reset your body and mind require to keep going.

What Real Strength Looks Like
Real strength is not about never cracking. It is about knowing when to soften.
It is about trusting that you do not have to be composed every second to be worthy. It is about allowing yourself to be human — messy, emotional, imperfect — without shame.
Strength is not in holding it all together. It is in knowing when to let go, when to rest, and when to be honest about what you need.

The Invitation
The hidden burnout is easy to miss because it looks like success. But success at the cost of self is not success at all.
The next time you catch yourself saying “I’m fine” when you are not, pause. Notice the weight you are carrying in that moment. Ask yourself: what would it feel like to put even part of this down?
You may be surprised at how much lighter life becomes when you stop holding it all together, and start allowing yourself to simply be.

-Daily Mindfulness

09/18/2025

The love language we don't talk about.

It's the quiet act of someone choosing to work on themselves.

Not just for their own sake, but for the health of the relationship.

It’s easy to say “That’s just how I am,” and expect others to accept our flaws and triggers as unchangeable parts of us.

But real love ..... deep, mature love, looks different.

It’s someone who recognizes their wounds and patterns, and instead of making them your burden, takes responsibility for their healing.

It’s the partner who notices when their words cut too deep, or when old habits threaten new happiness, and chooses to do the work to grow.

You deserve someone who doesn’t expect you to simply tolerate the parts of them that hurt you.

You deserve someone who sees the impact of their actions and is willing to change, not because you demand it, but because they care about your peace, your safety, and your heart.

Love isn’t just about grand gestures or sweet words.

Sometimes, it’s about accountability.

It’s about someone who looks at their own reflection and says, “I want to be better for me, for you, for us.”

That’s the kind of love that builds trust, deepens connection, and heals old wounds.

Always remember .... you are worthy of a love that grows.

Of a partner who chooses healing over excuses, effort over complacency.

Don’t settle for less than someone who’s willing to do the work, because that’s a love language that will last a lifetime.

09/16/2025

Literally talked about this with a client last week!

09/05/2025

04/19/2025

04/07/2025

Really powerful message.

I'm independent, feeling free. I met someone who’s incredible. He’s older, he’s smart, and he treats me like a lady. He tells me that I’m beautiful, wise; he loves my outlook on life. I know I don’t have to think it but, hypothetically, if he hit me, I would leave him.
He treats me so much better than I’ve ever been treated before. He really notices me, he compliments me, he’s texting me constantly. He’s mature, he’s smarter, and he would never hurt me. He never would, but of course, if he hit me, I would leave him.

We connect on a level that’s hard to describe. He really gets me, he wants the same things in life. For the first time I feel completely understood. I’m feeling full of hope and excitement, he says he is too! He feels the same way as I do! It couldn’t possibly happen, not in a million years, but if a man hit me, I would leave him.

He says he loves me! That’s a bit quick. Wants to move in together? We’ve only been dating one month. But now, I’ve offended him, what am I doing? I may never find another soul mate like him. Ok, I’ll do it, I love you too. He won’t hit me, but if he did, I would leave him.

Living together, he seems a bit distant, I wonder what’s wrong. I try to make him feel better, but nothing’s working. I try all the things he usually likes; make the house spotless, cook a nice meal, try and talk to him and show him I care. But he won’t open up; maybe I’ve done something, but what? We were so good before, I’ll try and make this work, but of course, if he hit me, I’d leave him.

Things have changed, when did that happen? He gets so angry, his eyes seem possessed. Shouting and raging like I’ve never seen before. And then he’s so cold, not just distant, but silent. Sometimes for days he will ignore my existence. I beg him to forgive me, but I’m not sure what for. Suddenly things are ok again, I see the old him. If I just stop messing up he will stop getting mad. But, if he hits me, I will leave him.

It’s so sweet how I’m so naive, he says. I guess it’s true, he’s smarter than me. I want to meet up with friends but he tells me he’s hurt. Don’t I ever think about how it makes him feel, he says. He has no friends nearby but I want to meet up with mine, he says. I guess it’s true, I’m selfish too. I say sorry and stay at home watching TV in silence with him. Still, if he hits me, I think I will leave him.

We’re moving. He will feel less stressed living near his family again. I ask if it’s ok to meet up with friends before we leave. Are you sure that’s a good idea, he says. He points out how I abandoned my friends when we started dating and my friends are probably mad. He’s right! I’ve been a terrible friend! I won’t text them. I’m so lucky he loves me with all of my flaws. If he hit me, I guess I would leave him.

We’ve moved away now. I feel so alone. He works long hours. I feel less tense when he’s not home but I miss him terribly and I’m waiting on him. I hear the key in the lock. I’m excited but my anxiety rises because I don’t know what mood he will be in. He seems ok, I try to cuddle on the sofa, but he tuts and says he’s tired and I’m needy. I feel hollow and I long for his love. If he hit me, I guess I might leave him.

His friends are over. I like it when his friends are here because he is more affectionate towards me. He tells them he’s proud of me. They say how we are such a great couple, when will we get married? I see that look in his eye and when his friends leave, WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT? I panic, maybe he will leave me this time, and I feel utter despair. If he hit me, I’m not sure I’d leave him.

We plan a daytrip, we don’t have them often. I try to get everything right from the start so that things go smoothly. He’s annoyed because I take too long to get out of the house, but I think it’s ok. But there’s traffic and I begin to get anxious. He starts to drive really close to the cars, surely he knows I hate that, but I dare not say anything. He SHOUTS and SWEARS and my heart sinks, I’m in trouble now. Just try to be invisible, not to make it worse. If he hit me, I don’t know if I’d leave him.

It’s been like this a while now. He says that I’m too sensitive. If I don’t like him how he is, he says I can leave, I know where the door is. He says he wouldn’t try and stop me. But I’ve got nowhere to go, and I’m worth nothing. He is nice to me sometimes, maybe often, it all seems a blur. I can’t make sense of it anymore. Maybe I am too sensitive, it’s probably me. If he hit me, I don’t think I’d leave him.

Something big has happened, the rages seem to get bigger. He started throwing things because I make him so angry. He says he will call the police if I touch his things, or he will hurt me if I don’t listen. He’s been telling lies, I see that now. Lies about money, his life and me. I feel numb. I feel like I’m broken. If he hit me, the pain would at least make sense, but he hasn’t and that’s not the reason I’m leaving.

I left him. I feel stripped down, beaten, exhausted, lost, but I escaped and for that I feel free. But my mind remains imprisoned, I have suffered trauma, and it’s a long journey to recovery. Was it abuse? I tell them it was. Well, what did he do? they ask. I explain, but what am I really explaining, it doesn’t sound like much when my pain is so engulfing. Well, they say, it doesn’t sound great, but at least he didn’t hit you.

- Emma Rose Byham