06/27/2023
Warning: Long Long post!
This came up in my memory feed this morning! On this day in 2017, we were sitting waiting on the doctor. Little did we know that in a few weeks mama would no longer be with us. Things happened fast but then again they didn’t. During this appointment, mama decided that she didn’t want to take chemo anymore. Though she was living, her quality of life was filled with sickness day and night. We were hopeful but mama was ready! Those last weeks were filled with heart to heart conversations and her wisdom impartation. Mama wasn’t afaid of the transition but she was making us ready. One of those conversations, she rehearsed some regrets. How she had cared for many but the one person she didn’t care enough for was herself! She had intentions of doing better about herself but she never made the time. Mama worked all the time. She wished she had spent more of her time enjoying her life and her children. In our last conversation, before she started slipping away, she said baby care do what I didn’t do, take care of yourself, enjoy your life, your children and then she blew me a kiss! That summer, I had been a vegan for months, did excessive amounts of cardio and was organizing a 5k in honor of my mom and cousin. The day we had planned it was the day my mama died. I went in hard to transform my life! Then…
The last couple of years, I have worked, found myself taking care of others and doing the very thing she advised against. Putting myself off yet another day. I was busy getting stuff done but before I knew it, I was 50 pounds heavier from stress eating or not eating at all. I looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize the woman looking back at me. Her edges were gray, skins was sagging and wrinkles taking residence! Clothes were shrinking, joints hurting and out of nowhere I had topped the scale at 230 pounds! Then one day, as if I didn’t know, an older lady bluntly asked me what had I done to myself? She had never seen me look so bad! Then she went on to say, you know better!🤦🏽♀️ My feelings were so hurt but I knew it was true.
A certified health coach, certified drugless practitioner, specializing in whole person health, gut health, hormone health, certified organic juice therapist, essential oil specialist and I am not living what I preach!
These last few months have been an awakening! I had to sit with myself and come to terms with a few things. I was grieving still, depressed and just surviving. I am 52 now, and actually thought I had just turned 51!🤦🏽♀️
Anyway, I have had to let go of certain things and release some people. Drop some things in order to pick myself up again. I was living but lost!
One thing is for sure, my knees are a bit dusty, I am moving a lot slower than before but I am up and moving forward! I had to go deeper in order to go further!
Maybe you cant relate. For those of you who can, perhaps this will provoke or even encourage you, to GET BACK UP!
Like the memory in my feed this morning, sometimes we just need to be reminded!
Get back UP and move FORWARD!
I LOVE YOU!😘❤️
