Joe Kort

04/25/2026

I disagree with people who say psychotherapists shouldn’t be on social media as content creators. Many of us also write books, do presentations and live in small communities where people read about us and see us beyond sitting in an office. If you don’t want to see a therapist who is a content creator, then you should make that choice, but don’t tell therapists they shouldn’t be on social media and create content.

04/24/2026

When people hear “gay,” they often don’t hear identity. They hear s*x.

That overs*xualization can leave gay kids feeling ashamed before they even understand who they are. Instead of being told their identity is normal, many are left to figure it out alone, while absorbing the message that something about them is wrong or unsafe to name.

In this clip, I talk with hypnotherapist and positivity coach Ray Aubel about the hidden abuse and trauma of growing up gay, and how early shame can shape identity, anxiety, and self-worth.

Watch the full Smart S*x Smart Love conversation with Ray Aubel, linked in my bio.

04/23/2026

A few of the books I’ve written over the years—each one focused on helping people better understand themselves, their relationships, and their s*xuality.

Every book comes from real conversations, real questions, and the work I’ve done with clients navigating identity, intimacy, and connection.

Click the link in bio to purchase a copy.

04/21/2026

Many men are taught from a young age to disconnect from their emotions, to avoid vulnerability, suppress feelings, and define masculinity in rigid ways.

For gay men, this can go even deeper. You may have learned early on that who you are or how you love is “wrong,” which can create shame and make it harder to build real intimacy.

The result? Disconnection, not just from others, but from yourself.

Healthy relationships require emotional presence, communication, and the ability to be vulnerable, skills many men were never taught.

Doing this work isn’t about changing who you are. It’s about reconnecting with yourself so you can show up more fully in your relationships.

04/20/2026

Hookups are not the problem, but they can become one when they start replacing intimacy. Many people say they want a relationship, a partner, something meaningful, yet find themselves stuck in a cycle of quick, easy connections that never go deeper. There is nothing inherently wrong with hookups. They can be fun, consensual, and serve a purpose. But when they begin to replace emotional connection, vulnerability, and real social interaction, they can keep you from building the kind of relationship you actually want.

Link to the full YouTube video in bio.

04/20/2026

April is S*xual Assault Awareness Month.

Awareness is important, but so is understanding what real support looks like.

Survivors don’t need to be questioned, minimized, or rushed to “move on.” They need to be believed, respected, and given space to process in their own time.

Consent is not just about saying “no.” It’s about clear, ongoing, enthusiastic agreement.

And healing is not linear. It looks different for everyone.

If you or someone you know has experienced s*xual violence, know that you are not alone and support is available.

We all play a role in creating safer, more respectful relationships.

04/17/2026

Boys are often taught to disconnect from vulnerability long before they become men, and that has lasting consequences. When boys are told not to feel, not to cry, and not to seek comfort through touch, they often grow into men who struggle with emotional language, closeness, and healthy connection. The need for touch does not disappear, but in a culture that restricts nons*xual affection between men, that hunger for closeness can become s*xualized because it is one of the only forms of touch they feel permitted to have.

Link to the full YouTube video in bio.

04/17/2026

New YouTube Video: Why Some Gay Men Use Hookups as Pseudo Intimacy

2 likes. "Why Some Gay Men Use Hookups as Pseudo Intimacy"

04/16/2026

Many gay and bi men don’t grow up thinking they’re gay or bi.

They grow up thinking they’re straight, because that’s the only identity we teach children to recognize.

So when they feel attraction to men, they don’t see it as identity. They see it as curiosity, a phase, or something purely s*xual. They might even label it as a kink or fe**sh, separating it from who they are.

Over time, that disconnect becomes harder to maintain. What was once dismissed starts to make more sense, and many begin to realize that what they felt all along wasn’t just behavior. It was identity.

This is why understanding s*xuality as part of who someone is, not something to change or suppress, is so important.

Full video linked in bio.

04/16/2026

Most relationship problems don’t actually start in the relationship. They start much earlier, in what you learned about love growing up.

If you had to hide parts of yourself, earn approval, or stay quiet to keep the peace, those patterns don’t just disappear. They follow you into adulthood and show up in how you date, attach, and communicate.

You might call it bad luck, but often it’s something more familiar. You’re repeating what once helped you feel safe.

The problem is, what protected you then can interfere with real connection now. Healthy relationships require honesty, accountability, and the ability to show up as your full self.

That’s not something you find in the right partner. It’s something you build within yourself.

04/14/2026

Ghosting doesn’t just happen in dating… it happens in therapy too.

But avoiding the goodbye can reinforce the very patterns therapy is meant to help you break.

Saying “this isn’t working for me” or “I’m ready to move on” builds something powerful: your voice, your agency, and your ability to show up in relationships.

A healthy ending is part of the healing.

Read the full article in the link in my bio.