08/06/2023
Why am I so Gullible & Stupid?
First, he wines and dines you. Shows you an unbelievably happy and financially stable life.
Before long, you lose who you thought you were…the daily snide, cruel comments make you question your self-esteem - your “You-Niq-Ness”! Who are you?
Once you’re at your lowest, you learn quickly that no one can be trusted - your friends & family have been corrupted in your own mind! The only person you associate your whole world around is him - just exactly the way he intended - the way he expects you to obey - the domination he molded!
The days become weeks, the weeks become months, and before long, 20 long hard years have been beaten into you!
Emotionally - you’re unstable - incapable of making sound decisions, unable to see that this world you have been surviving is a false sense of reality! Doesn’t everyone live like this? Doesn’t everyone experience being controlled?
Mentally - distortions of the environment, reality, happiness, love, & safety have become common! It’s all normal! Isn’t it? I am safe, loved….happy, Right?!?! It’s all I know, it’s all I’ve lived, so it has to be normal. He apologizes everytime he loses his temper and buys gifts to show his remorse….doesn’t everyone?
Physically - Pain! Pain in every area of my body. I’m pretty lazy and quite overweight. So it’s really my fault isn’t it? If I’d just listen, I wouldn’t get punched, strangled, or slapped. If I’d work out, eat better, and just Listen - my pain would improve and he’d be happier with me!
Financially - Good thing I work! Who else would pay for our child’s needs and daycare? It’s my job as the mother! How else would I pay for my vehicle and the gas I put in it, if I didn’t work? How else could I afford to go on expensive vacations with him and his friends, if I can’t pay my way to get there? How? And, of course, when he gets angry and accidentally dents my vehicle or breaks my windshield, how else would I afford to fix my vehicle, if I didn’t have a job?
Psychologically - who can I trust? I can’t think straight. Who can I talk to? Who is going to help me? Who is going to believe me? Who loves me? Who cares about whether I live or die? Who realizes the truth or wants to understand the truth?
How do I leave? How do I find safety for me and my son? How?
1991-2010 (relationship/marriage)
2010-2014 (stalking us all over North America 🇨🇦 🇺🇸 🇲🇽)
