Soothing Connections Counseling

11/19/2025

Our anchors, what keeps us grounded and feeling safe, are the experiences we need to continue our healing one step at a time.

In EFT, we look for the anchors, the moments of safety, connection, and grounding that help your emotional system soften. These experiences aren’t just comforting; they create the foundation that makes healing possible. When we feel anchored, even one step forward becomes meaningful.

Your body heals best when it feels safe. Anchors like familiar routines, supportive relationships, calming environments help regulate your nervous system so you can move through hard emotions without overwhelm. Healing builds through these steady, repeated moments of grounding.

11/18/2025

Reminder:
Healing isn't a race, it's a rhythm.

In Emotionally Focused Therapy, we honor the natural rhythm of your healing, the softening, the pauses, the steps forward that come when your body feels safe. There’s no prize for rushing. Your emotional system opens at the speed of connection, not pressure.

11/18/2025

The places we go to create feelings of safety in our body are the ones we need to hold closely in times of despair.

Your body remembers where safety lives.
Hold those places close, especially when despair whispers otherwise.

Return to the places that steady you.
Your body knows the way back to safety.

In EFT, we pay attention to the cues that signal safety, the moments, places, and connections that soften our bodies and help us breathe again. These aren’t luxuries; they’re lifelines. When despair shows up, returning to what regulates us is an act of emotional protection and deep self compassion.

11/12/2025

Reminder:
Your soul deserves time to slow down in nature.

Your soul isn’t asking for more productivity.
It’s asking to breathe, to feel the earth steady beneath you again.

When we slow down in nature, our nervous system has a chance to settle. The steady rhythm of the world around us invites a steady rhythm within us. This quiet space helps us reconnect to what truly matters: our emotional balance, our relationships, and our sense of safety.

In EFT, slowing down helps us tune into the emotions underneath the rush. Nature mirrors that process, softening our defenses, helping us notice what’s really happening inside. When we pause long enough to listen, we often find our feelings waiting patiently to be known.

11/04/2025

A Time to Reflect...
Where am I at in this season?
What’s working and feeling helpful?
What’s not working and feeling unhelpful?

What’s supporting your growth and what’s quietly draining it?
Sometimes clarity starts with a pause.

Not everything that used to help still does.
Not everything that used to hurt still has power.
Take a breath and reflect:
What’s working for you in this season… and what’s not? 🍂

Reflection isn’t self-criticism, it’s self-connection.
Ask yourself:
What’s helping me feel more like myself lately?
What’s keeping me from peace?
Small moves towards awareness become big shifts.

11/03/2025

Hello November!

This month, join Soothing Connections Counseling in reflecting...
and of course, Sara Schramer's frequently used phrase her clients often hear, "Something to ponder!"

Many of the posts this month will focus on reflection questions, thought provoking quotes, and some helpful reminders for the season.

Share what resonates with you to your friends, neighbors, and loved ones.

Let's Soothe Well & Stay Connected!

10/27/2025

A wonderful reminder that the healing you do continues to impact the next generations.

Healed parents raise secure children. Your self-work today becomes your child’s peace tomorrow. ✨💞

10/21/2025

True strength isn’t in holding it all together, it’s in letting yourself be seen.
Vulnerability isn’t weakness; it’s the heartbeat of connection and healing.

Blog Post:
“The Courage to Be Seen: How Vulnerability Deepens Connection.”

www.soothingconnections.com/emotionally-focused-therapy-for-couples-and-individuals/the-courage-to-be-seen-how-vulnerability-deepens-connection/the-courage-to-be-/the-courage-to-be-seen-vulnerability-and-connection

Discover how vulnerability creates stronger emotional bonds in relationships. Learn how Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) helps individuals and couples in St. Charles, IL, build safety, trust, and deeper connection.

10/16/2025

Healing asks for tenderness and compassion.

10/07/2025

>>>The real enemy in relationships isn’t your partner, it’s the painful cycle of disconnection. When we get stuck in the negative cycle, both people feel unheard and alone. The good news? Together, you can step out of the cycle and back into connection.

>>>The cycle can change. Every small step of turning toward each other builds a new dance, one rooted in trust, safety, and emotional closeness. Connection creates a positive cycle where love feels alive again.

>>>We all need anchors of security, moments where we feel safe, seen, and steady together. Through coregulation, partners can become a calming presence for one another, building trust and deep emotional safety.

10/07/2025

Letting go of someone’s healing is its own kind of heartbreak...
and it’s also how you start tending to your own healing.

Beautifully spoken by Bluebird Counseling Center LLC in acknowledgement of the grief that needs soothing.

There’s a quiet kind of grief that comes when you stop trying to do the inner work for someone else.

You realize:
You can’t heal for them.
You can’t force insight, growth, or change.
You can’t carry their pain and yours.

And when you finally let go,
you may find yourself grieving the relationship you hoped would one day feel balanced, mutual, whole.

Grieving the version of them you imagined.
Grieving the future you dreamed of together.
Grieving the hope that love alone could be enough.

It’s okay to feel that loss.
It’s okay to mourn what never came to be.
Let yourself feel it.
Let yourself heal.

You deserve relationships where the work is shared, and the healing is mutual.

10/02/2025

Pause. Notice. Choose your pace.

Like a traffic light, our emotions send signals.
Red says stop. We need to pause before reacting.
Yellow invites us to slow down, reflect, and notice what’s really happening. Green gives us the chance to move forward with intention, connection, and care.

In couples work, slowing down interrupts the negative cycle.
For parents, it creates room to attune instead of react.
For individuals, it’s a path to self-compassion.

Slowing down isn’t weakness, it’s the strength of choosing connection over reactivity.

It’s okay to slow down if you’re unsure about what to do next.