Dead Relaxed: The Cadaver Massage Therapy

04/19/2026

💐 Mother’s Day Massage Sale 💐

Give Mom the gift she *really* wants this year… time to relax, recharge, and feel her best 💆‍♀️

✨ Special Mother’s Day Offer:
• 30 Minutes – $30
• 60 Minutes – $60
• 90 Minutes – $90

Whether she needs deep relief, gentle relaxation, or a fully customized experience, every session is tailored to her comfort — including pressure, focus areas, and even her choice of music, podcast, or audiobook 🎶🎧

🌸 Perfect for:
• Moms who do it all
• Moms who need a break
• Moms who deserve *more than flowers*

🎁 Gift cards available — make it easy and thoughtful!

📅 Limited availability — message now to book or grab a gift card before spots fill!

Because one day isn’t enough… but it’s a good place to start 💕

04/17/2026

Check out our newest and most limited promotion! Savings like this don't happen everyday and spots will go quick

04/17/2026

Relaxation, your way. ✨

Massage therapy isn’t one-size-fits-all—and it shouldn’t be. Every session is completely customizable to fit *you*. Whether you need focused work on problem areas, gentle relaxation, or deeper pressure, your massage is tailored to what your body needs most.

Set the vibe your way:
🎶 Choose your own music
🎧 Tune into an audiobook or podcast
😌 Or enjoy quiet, uninterrupted relaxation

This is your time, your comfort, your experience.

We’re proud to offer a welcoming, inclusive space for *everyone*. No matter who you are or what you need, you deserve to feel your best.

Message us to book your session and experience massage therapy that truly meets you where you are!

Memberships and gift cards are also available!

04/12/2026

✨ Massage Openings This Week! ✨

Take a break, relax, and treat your body right 💆‍♀️

**Wednesday 4/15**
10am
11am
12pm

**Friday 4/17**
9am - BOOKED
10am - 30 min available

**Rates:**
30 minutes – $35
60 minutes – $70
90 minutes – $105

Spots fill quickly—message now to book your appointment! 📩

04/07/2026

There are still appointments available for this week and Sunday has opened up! 30, 60 or 90 minute sessions available! Message to claim your spot! 🩷🖤

Thursday 4/9
9am
10am BOOKED
11am BOOKED

Sunday 4/12
9am
10am BOOKED
11am BOOKED
12pm
1pm
2pm

03/17/2026

Last day to be entered to win! Don’t miss out! One lucky person is going to win a free massage a month until the end of the year! 🩷🖤

🍀Feeling Lucky?!🍀

Want a chance to win a FREE 60 minute massage a month from April-December of 2026?! (A $560 value!!) Here’s how:

From NOW until St. Patricks Day (March 17th)..
Purchase a gift card, massage or membership and be entered to win.

Each 30 min massage purchase = 1 entry.
For example:
1 $35 gift card (equal to a 30 min massage) = 1 entry
1 60 min massage booking = 2 entries
1 Silver Level Membership = 4 entries

When purchasing, please contact us directly.. To be HIPAA compliant, at the completion of your purchase, you will be given a ticket number for each entry. All ticket numbers will be added to a wheel and the wheel will be spun live on our page on March 18th. The winner will have 48 hours to claim their prize. If it is not claimed, we will spin again..

🍀🌈✨🍀🌈✨ 🍀🌈✨🍀🌈✨ 🍀🌈✨

All payments are due at the time of purchase.
Dead Relaxed Terms and Conditions and No Show/Cancellation Policies apply. By purchasing a gift card, massage or membership, you are agreeing to Dead Relaxed’s Terms and Conditions and No Show/Cancellation Policies.

03/12/2026

🍀Feeling Lucky?!🍀

Want a chance to win a FREE 60 minute massage a month from April-December of 2026?! (A $560 value!!) Here’s how:

From NOW until St. Patricks Day (March 17th)..
Purchase a gift card, massage or membership and be entered to win.

Each 30 min massage purchase = 1 entry.
For example:
1 $35 gift card (equal to a 30 min massage) = 1 entry
1 60 min massage booking = 2 entries
1 Silver Level Membership = 4 entries

When purchasing, please contact us directly.. To be HIPAA compliant, at the completion of your purchase, you will be given a ticket number for each entry. All ticket numbers will be added to a wheel and the wheel will be spun live on our page on March 18th. The winner will have 48 hours to claim their prize. If it is not claimed, we will spin again..

🍀🌈✨🍀🌈✨ 🍀🌈✨🍀🌈✨ 🍀🌈✨

All payments are due at the time of purchase.
Dead Relaxed Terms and Conditions and No Show/Cancellation Policies apply. By purchasing a gift card, massage or membership, you are agreeing to Dead Relaxed’s Terms and Conditions and No Show/Cancellation Policies.

03/10/2026

🚨 Appointment Policy Update - EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY

To ensure everyone has access to appointment times and to respect the therapist’s schedule, we’ve implemented the following booking policy:

• A valid credit or debit card is required at the time of booking to hold your appointment.
• 24 hours’ notice is required for any cancellations or rescheduling.
• Appointments canceled with less than 24 hours’ notice will be charged 50% of the scheduled service.
• No-shows will also be charged 100% of the service cost.

This helps us keep appointment availability open for other clients and ensures everyone receives the best experience possible.
Thank you for respecting our time and supporting a small business. We appreciate you!

03/04/2026

Your body deserves more than a “once in a while” treat!

Our Massage Membership is designed for people who are serious about feeling good consistently — less stress, less tension, better sleep, faster recovery!

🩷Discounted monthly rate
🩷Priority booking
🩷Roll-over options
🩷Exclusive member perks

Stop waiting until you’re in pain. Make massage part of your lifestyle.
Message us to join today and start feeling the difference every single month.

Don’t think massage is in the budget? Think again! We offer one-time massages and memberships at rates that are suitable for everyone!

Don’t see an option that works for you? No worries! Send us a message and we will work out something custom to your needs and your budget!

03/03/2026

UPDATE: all sessions are booked! Thank you all for the support! 🩷🖤

02/24/2026

🌿💆‍♀️ SPONSOR SPOTLIGHT 💆‍♂️🌿

At The Lab, we don’t just train hard — we recover hard too.

We’re proud to spotlight our sponsor:

Dead Relaxed: The Cadaver Massage Therapy

If you train — your body pays the price.
Heavy rounds. Hard wrestling. Pad work. Lifting. Life.

That’s where Dead Relaxed comes in.

🦴 Deep tissue work
🦴 Muscle recovery
🦴 Injury prevention
🦴 Mobility improvement
🦴 Stress relief

Whether you’re in fight camp, prepping for a tournament, or just grinding through life — this is how you stay in the game.

🔥 Lab Member Discount Available 🔥

If you train at The Lab, you get a special discount. Just let her know you’re part of the team when you book.

Support the businesses that support us.
Take care of your body so you can keep showing up.

Train hard. Recover smart. Stay dangerous.

02/04/2026

Love looks different for everyone—and so does a gift 🩷

This Valentine’s Day, give the gift of relaxation with Pay What You Can Massage Gift Cards.
Because care, healing, and stress relief should be accessible to all.
Perfect for partners, friends, family, or yourself.

Our Pay What You Can Program is no questions asked, honesty policy based.
Message for more details and to claim yours!

Limited Availability!