03/17/2025
a healthy mix of new and old ☯️✨
Recently learned my new favorite word: Surrender
I used to think surrendering was weak, and that my vulnerability and softness - simply, didn’t matter.
People I thought, wanted someone really brave.
I was really brave, I said, I’ve been described as that word I mouthed — ‘brave’ over, and over. I familiarized myself with it. “Brave.”
What is a person who is brave? Fearless, unflinching, focused, rises to each occasion and comes out better, like a phoenix rising from the ashes up to its flame.
But what about the ashes-part?
What happens when you hit rocks and have to start, and at that, all over again? That’s the taste of ashes.
It happened to me, and my biggest lesson:
The bravest thing you can do, is to surrender.
When you’re able to let go of that way you think something should go, you open up to the much greater possibility — and beauty of its natural course and it might be bigger than your wildest dreams.
When the river is flowing in its direction we have to trust to see what’s around the river-bend even if it means loosing what we thought we had, deeply wanted at the time or imagined in our mind.
When you relax into your surrender, there’s a peace that otherwise forcing, or ‘fixing’ couldn’t never find.
I’ve long pressed the petals prematurely, wondering why my roses would not bloom.
I hear the words whispered in an old apartment of mind, 70’s retro pink tiles, surrounding me — the words “unattached” are across from me I’m in the hot bath, I close my eyes and the words disappear, and I’m here.
Something an anxious overly, eager driven and excited early version of me could probably never understand.
What do you mean, not totally be in control?
What do you mean, let go of the outcome?
Fear tends to creep into my heart in those moments, and the older me would gentle cling to certainty.
Trusting that in the surrender, laying down our weapons, expectations, and trade expecting for accepting, people who they are, in this moment, knowing very well it may change, and our tomorrow is never promised.
Walking into reality with a lighter heart then our beauty then truly can glow, grow, and glisten — let go 🕊️
