Simple Modern Therapy

Simple Modern Therapy Simple Modern Therapy exists to provide you with inspiration, guidance and hope to Love Your Life, and Yourself. Walk this modern path, simply.

In high-demand religions like the LDS church, spiritual bypassing is the structural glue that keeps the system standing....
04/16/2026

In high-demand religions like the LDS church, spiritual bypassing is the structural glue that keeps the system standing.

It isn’t a coincidence, it’s a strategy.

If the institution allowed you to sit in your authentic grief or anger without immediately slapping a platitude on it, the whole house of cards would fall. To keep the doctrine “perfect,” the system has to make your pain the problem.

When someone challenges the anti-LGBTQ or racist rhetoric and the response is to “trust the Lord’s timing,” that’s a bypass. It’s a strategic move to prioritize the comfort of the organization over the emotional or mental health of the human being.

This brand of faith doesn’t heal - it causes trauma. It trains you to ignore your own intuition and inner intelligence and calls that distrust of your system “righteousness.”

What are some other examples of spiritual bypass?

When you constantly step in to handle things because you know they won’t, you aren’t being a “supportive partner.” You a...
04/09/2026

When you constantly step in to handle things because you know they won’t, you aren’t being a “supportive partner.” You are infantilizing.

Infantilizing your partner creates a feedback loop that is nearly impossible to break. You do the work because they won’t, and they don’t do the work because they know you will.

The result is a bone-deep resentment. You feel like you are raising your partner instead of relating to them. You are frustrated because you feel like a “nag,” and they are frustrated because they feel managed.

Why it’s so hard to stop:
It’s anxiety provoking. What if the bills don’t get paid, the kids will are late, or relationships fall apart? The fear of the consequence of not over functioning can weigh so heavy.

The truth is, the only way out is productive failure. You have to let the ball drop. You have to allow the consequences of their inaction to exist without you rushing in to fix it.

If they forget the appointment, they forget the appointment. If they make a mistake, it’s theirs to correct.

My over functioning clients are more than overwhelmed, they’re FURIOUS that they have to tell their partner what time the appointment is, where they left their keys, how to pack their kids lunch, what to message their boss, etc. The intense mental load of this kind of over functioning is not to be understated.

The work in couple’s therapy is to hold, own and process the physical and emotional discomfort that comes with letting go of codependent relationship dynamics for healthy self leadership and true partnership. You don’t have to navigate these challenges on your own.

04/07/2026

When the light shifts, your brain starts pumping out more serotonin and less melatonin. You feel a sudden rush of motor energy. Your body feels energized. And because the heavy physical lethargy of winter is lifting, your brain may tell you, “I’m fine now!”

But here is the neurological trap: Your energy returns, but your mood hasn’t stabilized, your problems are “fixed”, your relationship isn’t “better”.

Feeling better because of a seasonal shift is like getting a sudden infusion of fuel in a car with a shaky alignment. If you stop the “maintenance” (the therapy, the regulation tools, the processing) just because you have more gas in the tank, you’re likely to veer off the road the moment the clouds return.

Consistency isn’t about how you feel; it’s about how you function. If you’re feeling that spring surge, don’t use it as an excuse to stop your mental health or relationship support routine. Use that extra energy to do the “heavy lifting” you didn’t have the strength for in January.

In my office, I see so many clients who are exhausted from the vigilance they feel is required in their relationship. Th...
04/02/2026

In my office, I see so many clients who are exhausted from the vigilance they feel is required in their relationship. They are busy managing their partner’s adulthood… checking the alarm, packing the bag, anticipating the mood, pre-solving the crisis before it even arrives.

We call it “being supportive.” But let’s be honest. It is a form of clandestine control. We over-function because we are afraid. We are afraid of the mess, the emotional reaction, or the sheer embarrassment of watching them fail. So, we step in.

The tragedy is this: When you take over the responsibility for your partner’s life, you move from a horizontal partnership to a parental dynamic… and there is nothing more un-sexy than that.

By making their mistakes invisible, you have made their growth impossible.

What if… they are late, let them be late, if they forget, let them forget, if they have big feelings, let them feel it? It is better to have a messy, honest encounter than a facade of a relationship that crumbles after years of over-extending yourself.

As you confront the possibility of all of this… what comes up for you? What are you afraid would happen?

When you spend your energy “smoothing things over,” you aren’t actually mending things. You are just delaying the inevit...
03/26/2026

When you spend your energy “smoothing things over,” you aren’t actually mending things. You are just delaying the inevitable friction that leads to growth.

Buffering is a lonely game. It’s the split-second decision to jump in, explain, excuse or apologize for their behavior with the hope that no one will feel the discomfort of it.

The part we don’t talk about:
You aren’t doing it for them. You’re doing it because you can’t handle the embarrassment of their under-functioning. You are curated. You are careful. And you are INCREDIBLY tired.

Real talk… by absorbing the impact, you are robbing your partner of the only thing that might actually change them: consequences.

In my practice, I see it every day: a partner who is “the glue,” “the rock,” the one who “keeps it all together.”We call...
03/19/2026

In my practice, I see it every day: a partner who is “the glue,” “the rock,” the one who “keeps it all together.”

We call it being a “supportive partner.” But if we’re honest? It’s Emotional Scaffolding.

Scaffolding is the invisible, high-stakes labor you do to keep your partner’s life—and their image—from collapsing. You aren’t just doing the dishes; you are managing their reputation, their family dynamics, and their emotional regulation.

The signs of the Scaffolding Trap:

You “prep” people for your partner’s mood before they walk into the room.

You handle the “hard things” because they “just aren’t good at that.”

You edit your own needs to avoid the structural collapse of the relationship.

The hard truth? When you provide the scaffolding, your partner never has to develop their own structural integrity. You’ve traded your desire for them for a position as their project manager.

You cannot be an equal partner to someone you are constantly “upholding.”

03/17/2026

You aren’t “Helping” Them. You’re Hindering Both of You.

When you over-function by constant reminders, you aren’t being a “supportive partner.”

You are providing a service that stops your partner from having to deal with the natural consequences of their own inaction.

The Truth: You are managing your own anxiety about their forgetting, and carrying the mental load for both of you.

Address

124 S. 400 E. Ste 230
Salt Lake City, UT
84111

Opening Hours

Monday 9am - 5pm
Tuesday 9am - 5pm
Wednesday 9am - 5pm
Thursday 9am - 5pm
Friday 9am - 5pm

Telephone

(801) 920-7112

Website

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Simple Modern Therapy posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Contact The Practice

Send a message to Simple Modern Therapy:

Shortcuts

Share

Category