Functional Midwifery: Holistic Gynecology and Women's Health

Functional Midwifery: Holistic Gynecology and Women's Health Whole-woman health care, for women of all ages, backgrounds, and times in their lives.

I think this could actually be swapped simply for “the American healthcare system”
10/31/2025

I think this could actually be swapped simply for “the American healthcare system”

Because I’m going to dump a pumpkin spice latte on the next person without a child who says they are looking forward to ...
10/28/2025

Because I’m going to dump a pumpkin spice latte on the next person without a child who says they are looking forward to an extra hour of sleep this weekend 🎃
And to be even more Frank, if politicians actually cared about humanity, they would stop sitting on the sunshine act and get it through without attaching it to other bills so that we could abolish the biannual and pointless twice annual torture routine of changing our clocks arbitrarily.

10/02/2025

Hi 🙋‍♀️ I’m Rachel Olsson, CNM, APRN – your Integrative Gynecologist. I provide holistic gynecology and full-spectrum women’s health care for women of all ages: from teens through menopause and beyond.

My goal is to make healthcare compassionate, informed, and enjoyable. I specialize in functional medicine and going many layers deeper into your health than traditional (insurance based) practitioners have the time, the willingness, and the training to go.
My favorite clients are those who are already super dialed in and health conscious and who just are Not getting what they feel they deserve from the healthcare system.

I commonly work with women struggling with:
- Fertility
- PCOS
- Perimenopause and Postmenopause
- And those simply wanting Way Better GYN care for their ongoing health journey

Come check me out beautiful where you can have a superfood latte and get a massage or acupuncture or take a yoga class or sit in the sauna or salt cave (etc,etc!) before/after your visit. (As opposed to sitting in a gross fluorescently-lit waiting room and kind of hating your life for a couple hours while you check off an annual box 😜)

I’m just curious, does anybody else send messages like this to their gyno or Womens Health provider? I feel really lucky...
09/13/2025

I’m just curious, does anybody else send messages like this to their gyno or Womens Health provider? I feel really lucky to be able to help women in the way that I do. It’s not easy at all to step outside the box and provide something entirely different than what is offered with insurance based care, but I feel really proud that my relationships with clients are like this: full of gratitude and hearts and namaste 🥰

Just saying, you could have a much more beautiful, cozy, informed and all around enjoyable experience (with me)! means...
09/04/2025

Just saying, you could have a much more beautiful, cozy, informed and all around enjoyable experience (with me)! means with woman and care for women throughout their whole lives, from teens through menopause and beyond. And you can expect to get a lot higher quality of care with a Midwife vs an Obgyn. That’s not to say I don’t refer out occasionally for certain issues, but for the vast majority of women, your needs are going to be way better served by breaking up with your OBGYN 🤭

Your most precious parts deserve better

literally means “with woman” and so I feel like I’m always a Midwife even though I’ve gotten away from birth work spec...
08/19/2025

literally means “with woman” and so I feel like I’m always a Midwife even though I’ve gotten away from birth work specifically in my career (rather focusing on the GYN and women’s health realm)… but that said, I was open to moonlighting in the birth world, and so I’m delighted to share that I’m officially now Also filling in shifts at Colorado Birth and Wellness Center as a Certified Nurse Midwife, which realIy fills my cup for having midwife buddies and getting to be witness to the glory of 🥰


More nuance and spicy tidbits below ⬇️ It’s true: there is No test for men to detect the strain of HPV that causes cervi...
08/18/2025

More nuance and spicy tidbits below ⬇️

It’s true: there is No test for men to detect the strain of HPV that causes cervical cancer in women
Even genital warts, which are HPV but a Different strain, are diagnosed simply by visual examination by a medics professional 😔

❓ “Besides condoms, how can I lower risk?”
👉 Condoms reduce risk but don’t fully prevent HPV (nor HSV aka herpes) because lesions commonly occur where the condom doesn’t cover
👉 So ask about HPV (and herpes) history or testing.
👉 Focus on immune health = your best protection.
👁️ Note: I didn’t say anything about getting a certain “preventive” injection as a teen, did I? My clients who have had the worst cervical dysplasia have almost always had the 💉 and despite what many doctors say, once you have HPV, getting that injection, can’t protect you: you already have HPV and your body will always have it. Additionally there are literally over 200 types of HPV and the shot only protects against 9 strains.

⸻

Does HPV Clear?
Kind of
👉 Most people encounter HPV at some point.
👉 Often, the immune system clears it naturally without being colonized or keeps it dormant. When it doesn’t, it can show up as genital warts or cervical dysplasia (different strains), but just like any virus, your body Can keep it at a healthy and even undetectable level

⸻

If you already have HPV:
✨ You don’t need to fear “getting it again.”
✨ The focus is keeping your body strong → the virus stays quiet.
Do the things you know to do to protect yourself from anything: get enough sleep, sunshine, and nutrition, and manage stress

You got this 💫



Come see me in Denver or online! Website in bio

🧬 Early Breast Cancer Screening—Through Tears?!Yes, really. Auria is a revolutionary, non-invasive breast health test th...
07/20/2025

🧬 Early Breast Cancer Screening—Through Tears?!

Yes, really. Auria is a revolutionary, non-invasive breast health test that analyzes your tear drops to screen for protein biomarkers associated with breast abnormalities.

No radiation. No compression. No appointment needed.

✨ Uses just a few drops of your tears
✨ Detects signs of abnormal breast activity, even before a lump appears
✨ Safe, private, and can be done at home
✨ Ideal for women wanting a proactive approach to breast health that is noninvasive

At Functional Midwifery, I am excited and proud to offer this innovative test as part of a holistic approach to women’s health and cancer screening. But the best news is that it’s direct to consumer and so you can order it on your own and do it at home! See link in bio and use code MIDWIFERY20 for $20 off 🙌

Please note this is a Screening not Diagnostic test with a moderately high false positive rate which means if you get a negative: GREAT, you are in a very healthy breast camp. If you get a positive, no need to freak out! You are likely still healthy, however the next logical step will be a clinical breast exam and perhaps imaging.

🌀 Functional Midwifery Holistic GYN + Full-Spectrum Women’s Health

🎤 …Vasectomy! OK obviously this isn’t a fit for everybody and there are a lot of urologists out there who won’t do it un...
07/12/2025

🎤 …Vasectomy! OK obviously this isn’t a fit for everybody and there are a lot of urologists out there who won’t do it until a guy is 30 or meets their criteria for when they think it’s ethical (that happens with tubal ligation too), but as a product of a dad who had a vasectomy reversed to have me, and myself: a mom of a toddler born out of a vasectomy reversal, I’m living proof that vasectomy reversal is possible (not guaranteed, but fertility never is), and I have to say that the stress of not getting pregnant after baring the brunt of “birth control” from my teens into my 30s and then of course baring the babies, I feel so strongly that more men need to just have the tiny ✂️ that literally just gives them the free pass to catch up on Netflix and NBA (or whatever they are into) for a couple of days while they ice their balls… (we need not mention the months and Years of discomfort women endure between their bleed times to pregnancy to childbirth and the postpartum time).
It’s also Cheap.
It’s highly effective.
And No hormones are affected, and therefore no full body endocrine disruption occurs.
Oh, and I’m glad you asked: increased risk of prostrate cancer? MYTH! That was a poorly done study from the 90s. A large 2017 meta-analysis in the journal JAMA Internal Medicine found no significant association between vasectomy and high-grade, advanced, or fatal prostate cancer. (In reality it was just that men who had vasectomies were more likely to have more medical testing done and so a skewed rate of prostrate cancer was shown to occur in those guys who sought more medical care).

Alright men, make me proud! Let’s see how much you care about your ladies!

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San Antonio, TX
78216

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Monday 9am - 3pm
Tuesday 9am - 6pm
Wednesday 9am - 6pm
Thursday 9am - 5pm

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