Pilar Cárdenas, MFT, Counseling and Coaching Services

02/21/2024

This is such powerful parenting advice, but a good reminder for adults as well.

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10/09/2023

San Diego:
PICKLEBALL FOR MENTAL HEALTH 🩷

Rady Children’s Hospital is seeing exponential growth in the number of children’s and adolescent’s psychiatric visits. Please join our La Jolla Auxiliary as we support Rady’s efforts at creating an increasingly robust and comprehensive Psychiatric Emergency Department and services for children and families.

02/28/2023

Couldn’t have said this better. If somebody shows you who they are…through their behavior…believe them.
It’s great to be forgiving, patient and compassionate, but it’s not good if you are being repeatedly disrespected or abused in any way.
Knowing your worth, sticking with your truths and listening to your gut instincts will help you choose the people you want in your life.

While all emotions are acceptable, not all behaviors are.

Our emotions are not problems. They’re passing experiences. Anger, resentment, fear, they’re all trying to tell us something. They aren’t bad or wrong, they’re information.

Behavior, on the other hand, is a different story. Some behavior is absolutely not okay because it negatively impacts us or others. Behavior like physical violence, name-calling, belittling, etc.

This is part of setting boundaries with ourselves and others. We are not stifling emotions, but we are redirecting behavior. We draw lines by saying things like, “It’s okay to be angry, it’s not okay to yell.”

We don’t need boundaries around our emotions. We do need boundaries around our behavior.

02/24/2023

Official flyer

High Quality, Personalized Counseling and Coaching for individuals,couples, and families-25 yrs exp

02/23/2023

I’m presenting tonight at 7pm- 3888 Paducah Drive, San Diego

Tonight’s Topic- Enriching Your Marriage by Understanding and Using the Five Love Languages

FREE
( Presentación en Español)

del Amor
#5 Love Languages
enrichment

01/26/2023

Thank you, Lisa P for sharing this.
Prayers go out to you and all those affected by addiction and mental health issues- you are loved.

01/25/2023

Today is National Compliment Day ( who knew?).
It reminds me of this week’s piece by CNBC-

Did you know the #1 thing that happy couples say to each other?
It is… “Thank you”.

We often spend more time noticing what’s wrong instead of what is right and good in the world and in our relationships.

The more we train ourselves to notice the good in others, and say “ thank you”, the more good we see and positive we become.

01/20/2023

I will be doing a presentation in Spanish on the 5 Love Languages on
2/23. Está presentación será hecha en español!

languages

¡Esposos y esposas, únanse a nosotros para nuestra serie de enriquecimiento matrimonial los jueves por la noche en febrero a las 7 p.m.!

01/18/2023

The IBPF ( I am a board member) offers a tremendous amount of free resources, education and support for those affected by bipolar illness.
If you or someone you love is affected by bipolar illness, please go to www.Ibpf.org



bipolar

High Quality, Personalized Counseling and Coaching for individuals,couples, and families-25 yrs exp

11/24/2022

I see this a lot. Often people have been living in a state of hidden depression so long that it is the new normal and they can’t recognize that they are depressed and could feel a whole lot better.
Please reach out to a friend, loved one or therapist. You don’t need to feel this way.

Hidden depression can be hidden from others—or it can be hidden from ourselves. Young adults with hidden depression may deliberately conceal how they’re feeling for fear of how they’ll be perceived. Or they may think that the feelings will resolve themselves if they can just “fake it ‘til they make it.”

But in other cases, hidden depression can result from a detachment from one’s own emotions and state of mind. Sometimes even the person struggling is unaware of the extent of their own distress, so they don’t receive support or treatment. That’s when hidden depression has the potential to be life threatening.

What Is Hidden Depression?

Hidden depression, also known as smiling depression, walking depression, or masked depression, is marked by an absence of observable symptoms. Considered a form of atypical depression, hidden depression is not formally recognized as a distinct disorder by the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

The most characteristic symptoms of depression are an unrelenting feeling of sadness and the loss of pleasure or interest in activities that were once enjoyed. However, people with hidden depression don’t fit this description. From outward appearances, in fact, someone with hidden depression seems to be living a happy and productive life.

8 Signs of Concealed Depression

How to know if someone is secretly depressed? The primary symptoms are the physical complaints and behavioral changes associated with depression. Hidden depression symptoms can include:

Aches, pains or digestive problems that cannot be explained by some other cause
Fatigue or a lack of energy; sleeping too much or too little
Changes in appetite and resulting weight gain or loss
Feelings of heaviness in limbs
Irritability or intense sensitivity to rejection
Difficulties with concentration or memory
Changes in substance use
Thoughts of su***de
Untreated hidden depression can be especially dangerous. That’s partly because it is so easily overlooked or dismissed and thus left untreated. In addition, however, people with concealed depression are typically more functional than those with more typical manifestations of major depression. Hence, they may actually have the energy to follow through with a plan to harm themselves.

If you experience perfectly hidden depression, you don't recognize what's going on as depression. The very idea of you being depressed may seem ludicrous to you.

Credit: Margaret Robinson Rutherford, PhD,
author of Perfectly Hidden Depression

11/13/2022

Communication And Trust: How Do I Convince A Loved One To Seek Help?

This is an article I wrote for the IBPF ( International Bipolar Foundation).
It can be applied to help someone struggling with any mental health condition.

It can be difficult to watch someone struggle with mental health conditions, yet not be sure how best to help. Preparing for a caring and structured conversation is important to maximize positive impact. Your caring conversation can be a a pivotal catalyst to help someone you care about get well.

11/07/2022

Kanye’s behavior is reprehensible, I get it.
But his mental illness, bipolar disorder is a contributing factor.

I was Interviewed for this article in the New York Times: The Cut.
In it, I provide information about bipolar disorder.

Please learn more about bipolar disorder-you never know when you’ll need some familiarity for friends, family, co-workers, etc.

A special passion of mine is my work focused on assisting those diagnosed with bipolar and their caregivers and loved ones.