Jodi Stanley Therapy

09/30/2020

In times of uncertainty, amidst global chaos, our relationships matter more than ever, representing a source to fulfill needs for security and stability. When many parts of our lives feel disrupted, we seek to find comfort and acceptance in our partners, to know in our hearts that we have our most precious person on our team, to count on, and feel loved by.

However, the demands of juggling work and family commitments in the midst of quarantining, stress, loss, lack of sleep, and other outside forces, makes investing in our relationships all the more difficult. We are more exhausted and quicker to lose our patience or view our partner’s actions as an insult.

So how do we use this time of uncertainty as an opportunity for growth in our most valuable relationships? Follow these 5 simple tips to begin to create the love you want:

🧡 Openly share your thoughts, feelings & needs with your partner. Directly ask for their support and closeness rather than going it alone.

🧡 Inquire, listen & acknowledge what your partner is feeling. Invite your partner to take up emotional space and to share what they need from you.

🧡 Express what you appreciate about your partner and allow yourself to feel appreciated by them.

🧡 Give your partner the benefit of the doubt - no one is perfect and we need to let go of small grievances. Focus more on what your partner does to help you feel loved & cared for rather than what they don’t do. (Admittedly, this one is my greatest challenge!).

🧡 Pay attention to your partner - be present & notice when they make bids for your attention, reaching to engage with you. This might look like your partner sharing part of their day with you, a physical touch, a glance across the room, or asking for your help. Take time to set aside what may be a distraction and respond to your partner’s attempt to reach for closeness with you.

What are some ways that you have found to invest in deepening the love in your relationship?

03/31/2020

We are not meant to face the most challenging moments of life alone, in emotional isolation. Reach out today - I’m here for you, ready to accompany you & transform your experience of overwhelm into a sense of calm, lightness, and emotional well-being.

02/28/2020

Navigating ourselves in relationships is complex. Being human means that we can expect to let ourselves and the people closest to us down from time to time. This can look like losing patience, communicating from a space of frustration, or being preoccupied and missing or shutting down attempts by our loved ones for connection.

Our work is to develop a loving awareness of ourselves as human, imperfect, and yet still worthy; while also holding ourselves responsible and owning the moments when we miss it in our relationships. This looks like slowing down, being present, and noticing the emotional experiences we are feeling on the inside, as well as paying attention and being sensitive to the emotional experiences of our loved ones.

Our challenge is not to create perfection but to catch moments of imperfection, turning emotional injury into connection and healing. This is the process of repair. To become an observer, to look and pay attention, and to own what needs to be owned, for ourselves and in our relationships.

To repair sounds like empathy, care, concern, validation, and authentic emotional presence - “I can imagine that didn’t feel good for you when I (was mad/left/wasn’t there for you); How did that feel?; I’m sorry, I care for you and didn’t mean to make you feel that way. Can we try that again?”

Repair works to undo aloneness in the face of overwhelming emotion - to be with a trusted other processing our feelings and calming the nervous system. It represents an opportunity to be kind to ourselves and to take care of the ones who mean the most to us. In what ways do you want to see yourself grow in developing compassion and accountability through emotional repair?

01/28/2020

I had the incredible experience of immersing myself in the world of healing attachment trauma through the AEDP training in LA the past 5 days. I loved taking the time to connect with colleagues while also diving deep within myself to expand my transformational skills.

Here are the most significant pieces I’m taking away from this experience:

💫 There is tremendous power in the human to human, heart to heart connection when space is created to explore & truly know our internal landscape of emotion.

💫 We as human beings have a motivational drive wired inside us toward healing, growth, and emotional repair.

💫 We have a deep desire to be seen, known, & recognized as we strive to come into contact with parts of ourselves that are frozen.

💫 Innately our brains crave the emotional release of past hurt & pain, and are capable of being re-wired to experience relief and freedom.

Do you feel constrained by past hurts or trauma? Do you long for relief to engage more presently in your daily life?

@ Beverly Hills, Los Angeles

01/13/2020

Live presently & intentionally. Make time to check in regularly with yourself and the ones that mean the most to you. By creating space and attending to our inner worlds, we deepen our sense of connection & closeness.

Take a risk to be vulnerable by asking these questions, and see what you might find:

How am I feeling? Where is it coming from? What am I making this mean about me? What do I long for? Do I feel seen & understood? By whom? What makes me feel loved? What makes me feel fulfilled? How do I want to see myself grow?

How have you been feeling? What’s been on your mind? Are you worried about anything? How have you felt about us and our connection? What makes you feel loved? What do I do to disconnect us? Where do you feel most alive? What dreams do you have for our future?

12/29/2018

So looking forward to this exciting event with Sue Johnson! Check out the link & I hope to see you there!

Local Events Our Last Community Meeting Featured An Evening with Dr. Sue Johnson – January 8, 2019 Featuring EFT Originator : Dr. Sue Johnson Hear Dr. Sue Johnson share about her new book, Attachment Theory In Practice, and answer your questions. January 8, 2019 6:00 pm – 8:00 pm Tuesday Evening...

09/02/2018

Psychologist Susan David shares how the way we deal with our emotions shapes everything that matters: our actions, careers, relationships, health and happiness. In this deeply moving, humorous and potentially life-changing talk, she challenges a culture that prizes positivity over emotional truth an...

08/22/2018

Hello therapist friends! Please join me for a fun afternoon get together to connect with our EFT community - this Friday August 24th 4-7pm! I hope to see you there!

08/22/2018

Hello to all of my fellow couples therapist friends! I wanted to share this exciting training by the incredible George Faller! He will be teaching specialized skills in applying EFT to couples in high-stress positions. You don’t want to miss this! I hope to see you there!

05/20/2017

I just launched my new website! Check it out and let me know what you think!
http://www.jodistanleytherapy.com

I specialize in guiding couples, families, and individuals in building a greater sense of fulfillment, connectedness, and satisfaction to thrive in their daily lives. I believe that a positive sense of self is closely related to the health of our most important relationships. As a marriage and famil...

05/10/2017

Which strategy do you adopt when you feel disconnected from your partner?

Intimacy and independence require each other to make a whole.

05/04/2017

This is where the magic happens! Check out my new office - centrally located in Mission Valley. I am so grateful to be practicing in such incredible company with Kathryn de Bruin Family Therapy and Training!